A Letter? No, Two?!

Love.

One of the most important aspects of life for the coming of age mind. Or, the Idea of Love is important to understand, at the very least. Along with the newly discovered array of emotions that emerged can create a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty. It will often transform into a challenge for the young mind to coordinate the appropriate response when others express similar emotions. That is the very challenge I face this evening. Casually opening my locker to TWO letters that are likely expressions of some form of affections, indicated by the heart sealing them. I have yet to open either.

In an utter daze. Holding onto the sealed letters, I knew that I needed to make it home. A place of comfort. I somehow made it home safely. It felt as if I blanked out of existence for 20 minutes and only popped back because my Mom was waiting for me. In the beginning of my daze, I did consider calling my parents to come get me because all I recall from my walk home was a strange rattling sound vibrating within my throat. The strange vocalization of teenage love and anxiety. Made me condired that something was wrong, but before I knew it I saw my house.

“Tadaimaaaaaaaaaaaaa………” I announced as I very slowly walked into my home.

“Oh! Okaeri! How was school today?” Mom quickly asked with joy.

“Yes…” I couldn’t process a proper response and slowly went to my room. I’m almost certain that my Mom had a curious look on her when I walked in, and a likely worried expression on her face too.

Oh, no! What should I do?! I never expected to get something like this so soon! I haven’t even opened them yet! It just had to be two as well! This has to be some kind of prank! Yeah, that's it? That has to be it. Why would anyone want to da… dd-d--d… da- date! Me?! That doesn’t even make sense! No one really even knows me! Or that fact I’m a boy after all! What the he--

“Hiromi?”

“EEP!!!”

My inner squabbling was swiftly halted by my Mom’s light knock on my bedroom door. Also, simultaneously when she knocked I let out a stressful squeak. Despite my reaction, I shouldn't have been so surprised that she came to my room. I said two words and went straight to my room.

“Um… C-come in.” I replied slowly.

Mom walked in to me, keeled over on the floor with overwhelmed excitement with my school bag and books scattered around me. As if a tsunami swept throughout my room. I could tell that she was worried but with her High Emotional Intelligence I think she knew that it wasn’t something that would become a larger issue.

“You, uh, didn’t ask my question.” She walked in my room with a comforting smile and slowly sat on my bed while I remained on the floor.

“Well… Pretty good but uh… Something happened at the end of the day.” I struggled to speak, but I conveyed basically why I’m acting in such an odd way.

“Care to share, my little love?” She simply asked and leant in closer to me.

I rummaged in the mess of school books and homework in search of the letter.

“Oh, I see.” Once I handed her the letter, her smile turned into a grin of anticipation at what the letters could contain.

“Have you read them yet?” She quickly asked.

I just shook my head in exaggerated disagreement at the idea that I had to read them.

“Do you plan on reading them?” She asked with the same grin.

I again shook my head negatively at the notation.

“Hiromi, you have to at least read them.” She chuckled.

I curled up into a ball, unsure of how to respond. My Mom wanted me to think about what she said. I kept glancing back at her for a few minutes and she just patiently waited with her comforting smile.

“Right, but what do I do afterwards?” I finally answered.

“Luckily, for you. Your mom is a master of situations like this one. Let’s talk about it over dinner, so get ready and read those letters… Oh, and Motoko will be home late, so this’ll be just between us!” She also gave me a quick wink of encouragement.

I nodded in agreement. Mom then leaned back on my bed and supported herself with one arm to look up at my ceiling. I couldn’t say for what reason, she looked… Happy, but in a different way. Her smile wasn’t as full as it is in most situations. It felt muddled. I just looked at her, waiting for her to make the next move. This is the first time I’ve seen her with that type of expression.

“Okay, see you at dinner.” She got up to make the declaration.

“Okay!” I quickly answered back.

Mom paused to hang on my door before she left my room.

“I love you, Hiromi.”

“Ah, love you too!”

I quickly remarked with loving affirmation. Such a natural phase for us to share almost everyday. However, this time felt different again. Nothing negative seems to be bothering her. She seems to be rather excited for this moment for me. It must be an adult thing. Maybe she’ll share during dinner.

◑ ◒ ◓ ◐

Letter One with Pink Heart Sticker:

In nature's realm, a sight so fine,
   A flower blooms, a precious sign.
Petals unfurl in vibrant array,
   A symphony of colors on display.

If you are free, I want to talk to you. Meet me at the sports field’s bleachers.

Letter Two with Red Heart Sticker:

The fountains mingle with the river

   And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

   With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

   All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

   Why not I with thine?—

See the mountains kiss high heaven

   And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

   If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

   And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

   If thou kiss not me?

Hello, desert Hiromi. I’d like to learn more about you. Find me at the highest peak on the grounds of knowledge when the sun begins to fall.

Despite that both letters contain a poem… Well, uh, one thing's for certain. The two of these letters were by two very different people. After talking to the supposed pro, my Mom. I never knew it, but apparently she was quite popular in school and got love letters from a fair amount of people. She told me she got so good at rejecting people, because she rejected every boy that gave her one, and even some girls! She said that no one interested her until her university years, and that’s when she met my Motoko. It was nice learning a little more about my parents. I hope I’ll have stories like that in the future.

I was quite surprised that I went to sleep so easily, later that evening. It must be because I was able to express my worries openly. This type of thinking is something I need to remember, because before I was somewhat struggling the past few days with sleep. Also trying to finish homework and not thinking about my ‘Secret’ wasn’t helpful during the night.

Regardless, the next day came as quickly as ever and it was apparent that I could think about the entire day were my letters. Even my notes that I took during class showed it. I drew little hearts and cute doodles of relationship related stuff. Hearts, people hand holding, etc. I have to make sure no one sees them. They’re a little embarrassing. Nevertheless, I have to meet two anonymous admirers after school, and Mom’s most important bit of advice was to be myself and act like I would with anyone. Which of course I’ve heard before but it’s very true and I really think it was good for me to hear it from her. She tells me once I meet them, and if I don’t find them interesting at all, just tell them that the letter was very nice and that I’d like to be friends. Simple, but what I’m most nervous about is what if I do find them interesting?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out…