No robbery!

A rabbit is trying to rob me.

It may be a weird assertion, but it makes sense, given what has happened in recent weeks.

At first, I thought I was sleepwalking. I found several empty boxes of snacks that I don’t remember eating. Fruit and bread were always missing. Some electronic devices and small objects have mysteriously vanished.

I saved all the receipts for what I bought and took notes of what I ate. Like a madman, I spent entire nights patrolling every corner of the house, but things kept disappearing.

It’s impossible that I’ve been robbed and, above all, every single day. My paranoia had me double-checking the doors and windows to the point I was thinking of changing the locks altogether.

Then it finally happened. I was returning home when I heard strange noises inside.

A fluffy white burglar with floppy ears stood on the kitchen counter, holding a bag full of bread in his mouth.

And here I am, stuck in this staring contest, just waiting for the right moment to snatch him.

This lawbreaker is so focused on me that his guilty almond-colored eyes are sinking into my soul.

Suddenly, as if seeing something unexpected, he looks to the side. Purely as a reflex, I do the same.

He got me.

When I look back, he is already running wildly away. And for such a small creature, he's quite fast!

However, he might not be that smart since he is rushing against the wall.

You fool, I'm catching you now!

My hopes were quickly crushed as a small vent allowed him to exit to the yard. The grille that covered it was lying on the floor. How could I have overlooked that?

I ran across the yard until I reached the edge of the fence, but it was far too late. A dinky hole led to the house next door.

I look over, and there he is, smirking at me. He had utterly defeated me.

Then he turns his back on me and walks away calmly, heading towards a stationary object in the middle of the garden.

It is actually a human figure with long brown hair and a blue dress. A completely motionless girl is lying on her stomach, arms sticking to her side and head facing the ground.

Oh no!! Is that a corpse?! Should I call the cops?!

The rabbit keeps approaching her. Dropping the bag of bread, he taps her with his nose.

“Hmmmmmm….”

An irritated sound is heard. Good! She seems to be alive.

He takes all six loaves out of the bag and lines them before him, pausing for a few seconds. From inside his fur comes out a particularly familiar calculator, and he rapidly starts crunching numbers with his paws.

He leaves just one loaf next to the girl, keeping five for himself. You may have favored yourself a bit too much there, buddy.

Since I'm here, I’ll stick around and watch if the girl eats her portion.

Ten minutes have passed. The rabbit has already eaten one, and she hasn’t moved an inch.

Thirty minutes. He is halfway through the third, and she remains the same way.

One hour and he has finished, standing still, looking at her, who’s still unmoving.

The sun is beginning to set. The rabbit is salivating, resisting not going for her bread.

How can you still want more?! You already ate five!!

All of a sudden, the bread disappears. I could barely keep up with the speed of her arm, but I could tell that she was the one who took it.

Silence.

“Burp.”

Silence.

Disappointed that he couldn’t have eaten her share, the rabbit walks away.

Enough of this!

“Hey!” I call her out.

“Hmmmm…” she grunts.

“Are you hurt?”

“No!”

“Then, do you need help getting up?”

“No!”

“Why won't you move from there? Your back is going to ache like you've been stomped by a parade of elephants!”

Silence.

“Don't you want me to call your family? Or maybe a friend?”

“No!”

“All right! I won’t bother you anymore. But I have to warn you that your rabbit has been stealing my stuff. Like what you just ate a moment ago. Please keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do the same thing ever again.”

She doesn’t answer, but I assume she heard me.

In any case, this mystery is solved, and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ll cover the hole and carry on with my life.

For the remainder of the week, I couldn't resist my curiosity and would take a peek over the fence. She was always in the same place, lying absolutely still. The damned rabbit was stocked up and eating all the fruit he stole from me.

But tonight, I can’t stop thinking about how surreal this is. Questions keep popping up one after another.

How can she live like that?

How can she even breathe facing the ground?

Is she also sleeping outside right now?

Since I can’t sleep a wink, I might as well go to the yard and have a peek.

What a surprise. Of course, she’s there. In the same position, with the rabbit sleeping by her side.

“Go inside your house! It's too cold out here!”

“No!”

“Is that the only thing you can say?”

My conscience doesn't let me leave her in that state, so I go inside, take a blanket, and throw it over the fence. I try making a sound to attract the rabbit’s attention.

“Psst!”

He wakes up, and I point to the blanket. I’m convinced he understood my gesture. Although, it doesn’t seem that he wants to move due to his drowsiness. Reluctantly, he picks it up with his mouth and carefully puts it over her.

Great job, rabbit! It's good to know you can be a nice fellow when you want to!

Now that I’m feeling a bit relieved, I can return inside and hopefully still catch a few hours of sleep.

I wake up to the sound of a downpour against my window. While lazing around in bed, I abruptly realize that girl is most likely still outside!

I run to the fence and see her half-submerged in water with a snorkel mask. Due to the rain, a lake has formed inside the fence surrounding the garden. The rabbit has an inflatable buoy and is trying to help her, but she won't budge.

“Hey, little guy! Open this for me!”

I move my hands over the gate’s lock so the rabbit understands that he just has to pull the latch to the side. He comes floating to pull it. Massive waves of water start draining out of the garden. Her body and the ground are now visible.

I hold her and remove the snorkel mask, discerning her face for the first time. She has bright green eyes and thick eyebrows, while her expression is non-existent. She might be close to my age.

“Give me the keys to your house! I’ll drag you there!”

“No!”

“Why won't you?! Have you lost them?”

Silence.

She has clearly lost the keys.

The rain is pouring heavily, and the wind is picking up. It’s impossible to move her as she’s exerting all her strength to stay in the same place. I must admit that her commitment is rather impressive.

But isn't there anything I can do to keep her from drowning?... Oh!

I fetch my camping kit and take it to her garden. The wind is getting stronger and stronger, growing increasingly turbulent with each passing second. The fierce gusts have such immense force that they blow everything out of the ground.

Nonetheless, I’m focused on setting it up. At least the rabbit is helping me hold the tent’s fabric so it doesn't fly away.

Soaked to the bone, I finally finish mounting it and take the girl inside. Following us and shaking the water from his fur, the rabbit snuggles beside her. She is trembling from the cold.

“Here, take this,” I hand her a towel and one of my old shirts. “Dry yourself and get changed so you don’t get sick. I'm leaving now. Take care.”

Unexpectedly, as I'm exhaustingly walking home to warm myself, a voice from inside the tent quietly reaches my ears.

“Thank you...”

I was caught off guard by it. It's incredible that it took all that for her to finally say something different.

“Sure, any time,” I reply, oddly merry, considering I felt so worn out.

A bright sunny morning comes, and I’m enjoying my breakfast. Yet, I feel something is off. A silhouette approaches my plate, and abruptly, my toast disappears.

I look out at my backyard and find out that it has been occupied. The girl next door was lying on the ground, and the rabbit was eating my food to his heart's content.

I may have some new housemates.