Foiled

The grumbling from the lords last night quieted down for some reason and they wordlessly spent the night preparing to leave their camps at dawn. I was expecting some of them, especially the ambitious ones, to continue trying to convince me into reversing my decision well into the morning, but none of them arrived. Consequently, the remainder of the night was spent resting to prepare for the long walk back home.

At least, until my sleep was disturbed when I received a visitor in the small hours of the morning. My mood soured at the thought of meeting anyone other than the Demon Queen at this time. Still, it was surprising to find a girl who looks about my age at the doorstep. I was expecting a middle-aged man.

This girl was clad in a bright yellow ball gown which seemed to flow from her long wavy blonde hair. Her long skirt was frilly and designed with intricate floral patterns.

It looked like a nymph had come to visit, which made me think I was dreaming so I laid back down on my bed with my back to her and slept.

“Don’t go back to sleep! I need to talk to you!” she angrily said to me in a hushed tone.

It was only then I recognized who the girl was through her voice.

“Tiffany?” I asked as I groggily got up to sit on my bed.

She was the daughter of a duke and commands her father’s army in his stead. It was surprising to see her since she wasn’t in opposition against the order to retreat.

“What are you doing dressed like that at this time of the night?”

“First off, it’s Tiffania”, she replied. “Next, I came here to seduce you.”

To which I responded by lying back down and going to sleep.

I thought the situation was strange and surely a dream.

“Don’t ignore me!” she said, raising her voice a bit.

“If it’s nothing serious, I’d like to go back to sleep, please”, I said without turning to face her.

“It is serious!” she claimed. “I am serious about this!”

I finally got up from the bed to tell her, “I’m sorry, but I’m in love with someone else.”

“I’m aware”, she replied. “With the Demon Lord, correct?”

“Huh? Have I ever told you that?”

“No, but it became obvious when you told me the Demon Queen is going to love the cookies you baked last night.”

“How so?”

“Who in their right mind would bake cookies for their enemy?” she asked. “If there was poison in them, I would understand, but you made them as best as you could!”

“That could’ve simply been a gift, though.”

“Let’s put aside the problems that arise of it being a gift for now, what about the retreat? You haven’t explained your reasoning yet, but my guess is that the Demon Lord is rejecting your advances because of the siege.”

“Wow, good guess”, I said, genuinely impressed. I never thought the cookies and the retreat could be linked together.

Tiffany froze, looking dumbfounded.

“I didn’t think you’d admit to that so easily”, she commented.

“It’s not like I’m trying to hide it. Nobody just asked.”

“Nobody… asked?..” Tiffany parroted, sounding unsure how she should take the new information.

“You should know. You were there. Everyone tried convincing me to reverse it but didn’t bother asking why I ordered it in the first place.”

“I think… you’re right?” Then she chuckled nervously.

“Anyway, I guess you’re here to arrest me, huh?” I asked as I glanced to my side where my sword was. I wasn’t going to let myself be imprisoned when I haven’t taken the Demon Queen out on a date yet.

“No, I’m here to make you fall in love with me instead.”

It was now my turn to drop my jaw. Her answer left me confused.

I asked, “Why would you want to do that?”

“If you fall in love with me, then there will no longer be a reason for the army to retreat.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to simply tell on me?”

“Perhaps so, but you just had to have me help you bake those cookies!”

“Meaning?”

“I would also be accused of treason for helping you!”

“Really? For something that small?”

“Those lords will not stand for any form of aid given to a traitor no matter how little it is!”

“You could simply not tell them about you helping me, you know?”

Tiffany froze again. It seemed like she hadn’t considered it.

“T-there’s no telling when that fact will surface! There’s also no guarantee they won’t spin lies to drag me with you!”

“Alright, but, if you already know I’m interested in someone else, then there’s no way you’re going to make me fall in love with you. You should go back to your own tent."

“No, I won’t leave until you have fallen in love with me”, she said, sounding resolute.

"Leave already", I said, annoyed. "No matter what you do, my feelings won't change."

"We'll see about that!" she confidently declared. Then, she put on a smile and said, "Look at me!"

I stared at her face for a minute waiting for her to do something.

But, when nothing happened, I asked her, “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“Me”, she replied, still smiling.

“Why?”

“So you would fall in love with me!”

Upon hearing that, I turned around to face my bed.

I already had both hands on my sheets so I could go under it when Tiffany grabbed my arm and asked, “Wait, what are you doing?”

“Going back to bed and sleep”, I replied.

“Huh? Why? Keep looking at me until you fall in love!”

“That’s not how it works! I won’t fall in love just by looking at you!”

“I-I don’t understand”, she said, sounding genuinely shocked. “Whenever I dress up, all the boys fawn at me.”

"Well, good for you and good night”, I said as I tried once more to go under the sheets.

“Wait”, she pulled my arm again. “Look at me one more time!”

"I'd rather sleep!" I responded as I pulled my arm from her grip. I then hurriedly laid down on my bed with my back to her.

For a moment, there was only silence that I thought Tiffany had given up. I dared not open my eyes to check in case she was still there, but I had the feeling she hadn’t left yet.

Finally, she spoke, "A-alright. If you're g-going to be like that, t-then I have no choice b-but to take drastic measures."

I could sense her presence looming over me, which made me curious enough to look. It was a good thing I did because her face was slowly descending onto mine. With her eyes closed and her lips puckered, she was about to kiss me if I hadn't grabbed her shoulders to stop her advance.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Her face red and her eyes swirling, she answered, "I-i-i-if I k-k-kiss y-you, t-t-t-t-t-that would m-m-m-make you m-mine!"

"That’s not how it works!"

"Y-yes it does! I will be giving you my purity so you will have to take responsibility!"

"That’s not how it works at all!"

I've been in this world long enough to know that fact. Otherwise, every young girl would have been forced to marry since a kiss, even to the lips, can be a form of greeting.

"Be quiet and let yourself be kissed!" she said.

We continued to struggle against each other until dawn when one of my men called for me as the retreat was about to begin. I thought it was over by then, but she knew I intended to be left behind so she had instructed her men to march ahead without her as well. Once everyone was gone, she continued to try and force a kiss on me.

“And that is how I got into the situation you saw just now”, I said to the Demon Queen.

“I’m sorry to say this after your long story, but I’m not interested in your spat with the girl you threw earlier”, she replied as she looked down from atop her horse. “What I want to know is what you are doing here without your army.”

"I see…" I responded, not annoyed that she didn’t stop my story earlier, but feeling embarrassed. That was the thing I felt that needed explaining and hearing her say that made me blush a little.

On the other hand, I was able to talk to her for a lengthy period without being attacked so I still consider it a plus.

In any case, I answered her, "I told you yesterday, didn't I? The army is going to retreat and I'm going to ask you out on a date today."

“I don’t know if you’re too dedicated to your act or simply a fool”, she said. “What makes you think I would go on a date with you even after ending the siege?”

“Well, I thought there was a chance, so I took it.”

“There was never a chance”, she replied as she raised her hand to motion the centaurs behind her to move forward. “Do you know how many of my people you have killed this past year? Among them were friends and loved ones. How can I ever think of dating you?”

The centaurs arrived as soon as she finished asking her question.

“The only chance there is is to avenge my fallen comrades by killing you here and now.”