Spirit of The Game

“Forget it. You calming down won’t let the system find her any faster.” Kidney sighed and propped his feet up on the desk in front of him, eyeing the screen with the phone to his ear. “Might as well let it out.”

“I want to hear what you’ll do to her.”

“Mr. Bozo, I understand your anger, but my park isn’t a torture facility. I’ve changed my mind, tone it down a bit. You’re stressing me out.”

“You of all people, stressed? I didn’t know that was possible.”

“I assure you, it is. You have no idea the kinds of things I put up with.” The more he looked at the algorithm, the slower it seemed to move. Part of him regretted what he’d done, for a moment. He chuckled to himself. Old technology really was awful.

“See, here I thought that’s why you could stomach me.” Bozo confided, still tapping his fingers on his own desk inside the private hotel suite, all his sidekicks watching him with empathetic eyes. “You own the most real estate in the solar system, what’s more stressful than that?”

“You know, I don’t like to talk about those things in the first place.” Kidney watched as the progress bar inches towards the end, slowing down just as it looked like it was about to finish the guest search. “Let’s just say it’s something unavoidable for most people.”

“I hear ya.”

“Okay.” The parkowner breathed a relieved sigh. “I think I found her.”

“You think? What do you mean?”

“It could be one of two people, the faces are close.” Walter compared the camera footage of Katie and Frankie. “…I’ve got a pretty good hunch as to which one it was, though.”

“So? Who was it?!” Bozo yelled through the speaker.

“That’s the thing.” Kidney scrolled through the footage with great interest. “I don’t think I’m going to punish them right away. I certainly won’t be telling you their names.”

Kidney fumbled with the phone, jumping at the cacophonous angry roar that exploded from it the second Bozo heard him.

“Please calm down, Mr. Bozo.”

“SHE RUINED MY LIFE! IF YOU WON’T PUT HER TO JUSTICE, LET ME!”

“Yes, “justice.” My favorite synonym for revenge.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I thought you were a good man, Kidney. Don’t you CARE what happened to my park?!”

Walt looked at all his posters and trophies, but still couldn’t find an interesting place to rest his eyes during this uncomfortable, troublesome moment.

“When you get to be as old as me, personal things like that don’t really resonate. All that matters is the spirit of the game.”

“Spirit of the- what in the hell are you talking about?”

Turning back to the screen, he watched again as Frankie and Katie shoveled more coins into their bag.

“I can see here from this footage that your “culprit” is currently one of the top competitors in my tournament who isn’t backed by a team of professionals and a large sum of money.”

“You’re sick. Why do this for me if you won’t even go after the person responsible for all that destruction in the first place?”

Walt dryly wheezed.

“You thought for a second I cared about some ruffians knocking over you shitty old coaster? Nobody even died. Who sends their condolences by launching a marketing campaign?”

He heard Bozo slam his fist down on the other end.

“I swear to god I’m going to…”

“Mr. Bozo, I didn’t say I wouldn’t do anything. I’m only withholding their punishment until further notice.”

“FURTHER NOTICE? SHE’S A MEMBER OF A GODDAMN TERRORIST ORGANIZATION!”

“Please lower your voice and let me explain. As it stands, your “terrorist” is good for my game. More importantly, good for its image. Everybody loves an underdog, you of all people should’ve at least learned that by now. Sponsors- and more importantly, the people just won’t be as interested in the finale of this event if all the winners are corporate monarchs.”

“So what… are you going to do?” The vigilante heaved.

“I’ll make it simple for them. A challenge. At the end of the game, if they don’t wind up in the top three, I’ll put them behind bars.”

“Thank you. Thank- wait. What if they DO wind up in the top three?”

“Then I will use my extensive influence and financial power as owner of the wonderful Kidneyw- ahem. Kidneyland parks to relieve them of any charges you place on them. Or we could just make an agreement like men, but I’m beginning to think you’re not capable of that kind of civility.”

Bozo growled.

“She WON’T win.”

“It’s a deal, then. I think I’ll let her know what’s going on.”

“Go to hell.”

Bozo hung up. Walt smiled at the footage of the strange girls’ adventures, captivated by their determination.

“Finally, something new.”

A knock came at the door.

“Boss?” Carol excitedly, albeit also quite nervously addressed. “Er- we found him. He got lost in the tunnels.”

Kidney almost fell out of his chair laughing.

“Is he here? Send him in. Let me talk to my old friend.”