Solar Yearning

"What are you grinning about?" Serena said as she leaned closer to the screen, trying to see what was on it. "You're bright red. Something naughty?"

Before she could see, Johnathan slapped the screen of his laptop shut; this was the first time he had been this impulsive in his reactions. He stared at the woman briefly, her mouth slightly agape as she tried to process what had just happened. His breath was unsteady as he still felt the rush in his body. Nobody was allowed to see that.

"I'm sorry. So sorry, Serena." He whimpered as he looked at her, taking her hands into his own as he looked up at her, his bright green eyes filled with guilt.

She grinned and squeezed his hands in return. "It's okay dear. However, I have never seen you act like that before. I will remember that. You'd better tell me later. You, me, and some drinks."

Johnathan smiled brightly as he watched her push her bright red curls behind her ear, adjusting her glasses slightly. Serena had been his closest friend for years. They were inseparable, sharing most of their thoughts and feelings. They knew each other better than themselves. Even though he was also friends with Florian and Jessica over here, they did not share the same bond.

"Fine, I wanted to talk to you anyways," Johnathan said, avoiding her gaze as he scratched his reddened cheeks again.

It was silent between the two of them for a moment. The tension could've been cut with a knife. Why had he told her now? She would tease him the entire day, and he knew it. There was no way it was staying a secret now.

"No. Way. John? Really?" She exclaimed loudly, alerting the rest of their friends.

All Johnathan could do was stand up and make hurried hand gestures, trying to tell her to keep her mouth shut. How had women known him for years and still acted like this?

"I guess we have a date. Your place or mine?" She said with this incredibly annoying know-it-all smirk as if she'd seen entirely through him.

"Mine. I'll buy sushi."

"Score!"

The golden-haired man couldn't help but smile at her outburst. Even if it was frustrating that she ultimately saw through him, he did love her to bits. This must have been what it was like to have a sibling. She had practically been his big sister for all those years.

With a soft groan, he sat back down, the sound of his friends in the background. They were talking about parties and soccer matches, things Johnathan could care less about right now. A sigh escaped his lips as his eyes were drawn to a certain spectacled brunette eating a muffin, his eyes darting over the screen. Those soft, slender fingers danced over the keyboard as those soft, gentle lips wrapped around the muffin.

"Careful before I have to mop up a puddle," Serena whispered from behind, her breath tickling his ear.

A shiver went through his entire body before hitting his forehead on the closed laptop. His body was hot, and his breath was slightly ragged by now. In the middle of the canteen at school, he was thinking things he should not have been thinking. God, he was far gone.

Why was the sight of Nathan eating a muffin a thing that affected him so much? He bit his lip gently as he drowned in his thoughts. This weekend had affected him more than he had imagined. The confession he had just blurted out and that starlit night. Nathan had shown a range of emotions, hurt and pain, yet also a gentle warmth. His feelings were so intense that he was envious of their depth, even if they were sometimes dark.

Even if Nathan tried to hide behind the walls he put up, it was clear how he felt from how he wrote. Lunaria conveyed everything in his stead. The pure poetry he put on the pages as he described his feelings and relationship was to die for. It made Johnathan very excited and passionate about writing, yet also slightly envious of his skill. He was starting to do the same thing, writing every ounce of his desire into Soleil. The solar knight yearned for the distant moon, a single touch sending an electric shock through his body.

"Earth to Johnathan. We need to go to class."

His friends got his head out of the clouds, quickly grounding him. Just four more hours until the writing class. He could be with Nathan again, their shoulders touching as they continued their conversation, exposing their ugliest and most passionate desires through their characters, telling the other things they would have never conveyed otherwise.

Johnathan took in a deep breath before he packed everything into his bag. As they left, he glanced at Nathan one last time to burn his figure into his mind. Their eyes met, and a careful, almost hidden smile appeared on the brunette's lips, taking away Johnathan's breath. His heart started pounding loudly. In this small soundless moment, he no longer needed words to convey his feelings; they poured out from every pore in his body.

Nathan's cheeks turned a soft red before he broke the eye contact, focussing back on the story before him. With that, Johnathan finally left the canteen, Serena pushing him forward. He didn't want to go, but he had lectures to attend.

During the first lecture, Johnathan got a quiet spot in the back. Usually, he was near the front, happily writing notes or giving answers to the professor, but today was different. Nathan was still writing the next chapter in their story, and Johnathan wanted to read along. Or even better, speak to him. He quickly opened the document, ensuring nobody else could see it, especially his friends. What would they think if they saw it? Would they realize or laugh it off as it being fiction?

In the meantime, Nathan had typed a good five hundred words. Johnathan's eyes darted over the page, enjoying the casual conversation between the two characters, living their life as they continued their quest. Together, their bond was stronger than ever.

His throat became parched as he read their story, the love and care, the gentle moments, and the passionate lines they shared. Until he once again hit a sentence he had not expected. Lunaria explained his feelings. The moon was cold and distant in the sky, not yearning for touch and affection like the sun. Even if he had asked Nathan about it, he tried to downplay it as if it didn't affect him. He hadn't thought about it before, but he wanted to know. Johnathan wanted to learn.

And so he typed a message, highlighting the part and adding a comment: "Could you explain Lunaria's words here? I think I understand, but at the same time, I do not get it at all. Please?"

It took a few seconds before the cursor jumped to the same spot in the text, and a reply appeared. "Weren't you supposed to be in class? For what it means, Lunaria is a little bit different from others. He feels broken due to it. As he says, he doesn't year for touch or affection like Soleil does."

For a moment, Johnathan stared at his screen in confusion. Even if he had received an answer, it only became more confusing. Did it mean he didn't want to go further? Or kiss? Not even dates? Nathan seemed to have had fun over the weekend, though. They had even shared a bed, if even for a moment. And that image of Nathan with a messy bun wearing only boxers and an oversized shirt. God. The image was forever burned in his mind.

Johnathan decided to put the talk about the lines and what they meant behind him. He could ask about it in class and maybe google the concept, as he already had to look up bisexuality anyways. Though for now, his body and mind had different plans. He needed to write some catharsis as he knew that he was being an extremely perverted man now when it came to Nathan.

And so he wrote on the notepad on his computer—a separate story for Soleil and Lunaria, a daydream of Johnathan. Where the two embraced under the starry night, Soleil's hands carefully caressed Lunaria's silky smooth skin. The knight was utterly smitten, wanting to leave small lovebites all over the mage's skin. Their soft lips mingled, sparks of electricity between them. Just the two of them, together in their world as they made passionate love, the stars their only witness.

Would this ever become a reality? Would their lips ever meet like this? Nathan's lips would be so gentle and sweet, a softness as they were filled with hesitation. His blue eyes stared holes into his body as he caressed his supple skin. He could use a right now, that or a cold shower.

Ultimately, he had not paid attention to class, but at least now he had dumped all his feelings onto the two characters. And they had a little too much fun: the flirting, the small kisses, and the skinship to a full-blown adult scene. Where the two men lay in an intimate embrace, this had to have been hidden from Nathan. No, not just him. Everyone.

But first, it was time for the class he had been looking forward to the entire day: writing. Together with Nathan, he would be making sure to behave in public.

Why did he have to go and steal his heart, his soul, and his entire being? God, he loved him.