Listen to My Heart

I laid in bed alone, inside my cozy studio apartment.

The place was dimly lit, encompassing the area with darkness, but I could still make out everything since they were all bunched up into one space. On the right side of my bed was a big window, currently covered with venetian vinyl blinds. Closest to my left was a desk and a fully built in computer on top, with a mechanical keyboard and gaming chair to pair it up with. Parallel to that were some wooden cabinets and shelves with nothing on them. On the far end of the room would be the kitchen area and the hallway to the entrance door.

So, why am I pointing out all the little details inside my room? That’s because…..

I can’t sleep.

It doesn’t help that I’m a night owl. Most of my favorite activities happen around this time. Whether it be riding women on horseback, drinking myself to sleep or even a simple peaceful moment with a cigar, I was completely happy living the nightlife! But now, I’m dying to get over it. Every part of my brain begged me for some sort of stimulation, writhing around like monsters in the dark, and I’m trying my best to push them all away!

I tried to force my eyes shut, but it only seemed to make things worse! I was wide awake, open to mate!

"Screw this!"

I climbed out of my bed and began booting up my computer. As I waited for it to start up, I mashed my fingers on the mechanical keyboard, alleviating some of my desires with its mesmerizing tic tac sounds.

Ah…that feels good.

Once the computer had finished loading everything, I scoured the internet and typed out the letters.

P-o-r……..

“Your resolve….is lukewarm.”

Just as I was about to press the next letter, Annika’s voice echoed in my head. Lukewarm. It hasn’t even been a day and I’m already like this.

I let go of the keyboard and leaned back into my seat. Gnashing my teeth, I slammed my fist against the desk.

“I can’t do this!”

I deleted the letters and decided to type something else.

‘Videos to help me fall asleep’

I entered the words and checked the results. The first video I saw claimed to put me to sleep for 3 minutes, but the video was freaking 12 hours long. I watched the next two, which were some stupid hypnosis tricks where everyone commented with sarcasm on the comment section. The fourth sounded pretty genuine, showcasing a military technique that helped soldiers sleep anywhere, anytime. The problem though, was that it’s supposedly something you have to practice for more than six weeks.

But I want to sleep now! Not six weeks!

A throbbing pain surged through the insides of my brain. I was beginning to feel like it was going to explode at any moment, ready to be cracked open to conceive a whole baby. Tears fell down my eyes as I tried to massage my temples.

Please make it stop…..

A sound played out from my computer speakers. I must have pressed a video by accident….

It was the video of a girl whispering close to a microphone, her heart-shaped lips moving with a subtle grace. I could only see half her face on screen, but I could tell that she was quite the beauty.

ASMRs, huh? I don’t get why people watch that stuff without getting embarrassed. Imagine having to rely on some random girl on the internet to help you sleep….

I searched the video on my phone, put on my earphones and laid on the bed.

I-It doesn’t hurt to try, okay?

“It looks like you have trouble sleeping. Aw, poor you. Let’s go through this together, okay?” the girl said. “I’ll do my best to make sure you fall asleep.”

Uhuh, yeah right. As if this is gonna make me sleep at all!

“Relax.”

I’m relaxing.

“But if you really can’t sleep, then you can listen to my voice for as looong as you like, hehe…”

I just want to sleep, jeez! This is so cheesy.

“Maybe you’d like for me to listen to you instead? Tell me all about your problems. I may not actually be here to listen to them, but it would be nice if it helps you lose some of that steam. Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.”

Hmm, she does have that gentle older sister vibe going on. Reminds me of how Annika used to take care of me back then in the past. Even though I didn’t really want her to…..kind of.

“Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to help you sleep. All I can really do is do my best to bring you to your sweetest dreams.”

At least she admits that it might not work at all, I don’t think it’s working that well.

She blew on her mic, the air flowing like a nice soft spring breeze delivered straight into my ears. This seems to stir up something inside of me, a feeling of relief, an escapade from the troubles of the real world.

“Let’s try cleaning your ears.”

I shifted on the bed, thinking that she had actually sunk something deep down inside my ears. It felt invasive, yet at the same time, blissful. She wasn’t actually cleaning up my ears, but I sure do wish she were.

“How does it feel? Does my ear massage feel good?”

Yes, ma’am!

“All right, I think your ears are nice and clean now.”

No! Please, don’t stop!

“Let’s try something else. Listen to the sound of my heartbeat.”

Heartbeat? Does that mean she’s gonna press the mic on her chest?

“Did you know? Your heart beats loudest somewhere below your left nipple, where its apex lies. And no, you aren’t allowed to think of anything lewd. Just listen. Can you hear it?”

Lub, dub. Lub, dub. I can hear it. Two little pumps, beating softly underneath her chest. Her beats were quite weak, so I concentrated all my energy into listening to them. Once I placed myself at a state of full focus, I noticed that the sounds of her heart appeared to move a little too fast.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but my heart is quite jittery tonight. It’s a little embarrassing, you see, knowing that potentially millions of people in the world would watch this video to listen to my heartbeat.”

Ah yes, the shy type. So cute…..

“I hope it’s making you feel better….”

After showing off her heartbeat, she started playing with some items on her mic. Squeezing a crunchy sponge, moving a brush against a plastic wrap, tapping on some wood and cork…….shaking a liquid container…..oil……ear…...massage……..brushing……..fur………..scratch…….ing……

……………..

Huh? It’s morning already?

I got up from bed and opened the blinds of my window. The sun beamed down on me, its warmth bringing me into an embrace. I let out a long yawn, and got out of bed full of energy for some reason.

Phew, I haven’t had such a good night’s rest in a long time! Thank you, 'The Girl and the ASMR'!

Yep, that was her username.

I happily put on my clothes with an upbeat hum and made my way out of the apartment. Fresh air welcomed me into the outside world, casting a nice spell on me to start the day.

But little did I know, things have only truly just begun. It was an absurd twist of fate, a joke from the gods, closing my door at exactly the same time as my neighbor.

“Heh,” I chuckled. “We timed that well, don’t you thi-”

My jaw dropped as I turned towards my new neighbor. Snow White herself had made herself home, right next to my room.

“Kwan! What a coincidence!” the white-haired beauty smiled at me.

“A-Annika?”