Prologue

With dread, I realised those thoughts would never leave me. The sea port was where I’d always lived, from fledgling to my sub adult age. And in all that time I could still smell the fish as though I was here the first time.The day was particularly moody, mild storms slapped waves of water onto the embankments, and the beaches were already flooded.

 Barnacle and crab pickings would soon follow anyway. Easy money.

Mother was gutting fishes to be sold in the night. The drab atmosphere made mid afternoon look like early evening already. There was barely any sunlight. It was just few miles away from shore that my father perished a year ago. On his anniversary, I sat atop the embankment walls stopping floods from the fish market, looking yonder and letting the chills of the sea sweep through me. 

I was soaked enough, mum would probably worry of hypothermia if she saw me like this. But I was just trying to remember the good old days I spent fishing with dad, only ever catching the smallest of tilapia or loose crabs, while dad always got the biggest for dinner.

He was out fishing with the other fishermen that fateful day a year ago when an unexpected storm caught up with them at the middle of nowhere in the ocean. Only dad died that day.

The fishermen, according to their story, didn't take the storm seriously, a serious misjudgement for people so experienced.

 They felt they were going to catch lots of fish. It was just too good a day to go fishing.

Wives, mothers and other older families waited for their men to come back to shore safely as the storm intensified. I remember being locked in by my mother, looking desperately through the window, waiting.The fishermen battled their way home with vital components of the ship missing.Mum came home that day with the help of at least four other women. I'd never seen her, or anyone like that before. She was torn apart. 

Poor me.

 Already old enough to understand, but no one to offer me companionship in the aftermath.

I had to take care of my mother for weeks before she was back to the market. It wouldn't be long before I was allowed to join in fishing with the other fishermen. Their support for me and my mum wasn't going to be forever. I brought fish home and she sold. 

New responsibility for me.

No one gave a clear explanation as to how my father died. They all said it happened too fast with the storm. He was probably trying to hold the sails steady against strong wind but lost the plot and got lost in the ocean, not even his body could be recovered.For some reason, I never quite believed the story completely.

A cold chill ran through me and I snapped out of my musings. I walked home to get dry and changed before going to join my mother at our fish stand in the market. There were lots of fish to be sold tonight.