Breakthrough

The vending machine hummed unsteadily, its motor straining to keep the interior cool in the late afternoon sun. Three water bottles had clunked down into the open slot. They dewed up immediately in the humid air. Hiroki was still on the bench, talking to Ayasa about who-knows-what. I tallied up what I owed Hiroki- a few hundred yen for these bottles of water, and a lifetime of needling for putting up Ayasa without any sort of warning. Then there was the matter of Kanamaru- If he demanded his money back, I had no way to repay him. My savings stood at maybe half of what he had spotted me.

In retrospect, spending as much as I did on Ayasa wasn’t smart. Miho wouldn’t have let me off the hook without at least getting her clothes to replace the ones I had ruined, but treating her to a date hadn’t been necessary. It wasn’t even really supposed to be a date- we were just killing some time. Now that I was out of money, what now?

What now? It was a question I could have asked about many things. Ayasa had a place to stay, and she could probably blend in well enough by limiting contact with anyone who didn’t know. Was that it? I had promised that she could stay here. Was she just supposed to live the rest of her life doing high-school dropout jobs? It was better than getting disappeared, sure, but it didn’t seem like the right answer. I scooped up the bottles and headed back.

“Do you really learn how to use Kalashnikovs?”

Hiroki was grilling Ayasa about life in the North. His questions were pretty biased by his peculiar interests.

“Use what?”

Hiroki mimed shooting a gun, making the *dut-dut-dut* sound with his mouth. Ayasa held back laughter.

“Oh, like rifles? Not really. There’s a test once a year where we have to take one apart and put it back together.”

Hiroki seemed disappointed by the answer. Even the North must have recognized that it was a bad idea to let kids play with guns. Ayasa answered like it was nothing out of the ordinary, though.

“Ah, Nishizawa’s back.”

“I brought water.”

Hiroki frowned.

“I’ve already got some.”
He pointed to a military-style canteen slung at his hip. He was really going all-in on the aesthetic. Ayasa grabbed the bottle and began to drink.

“More for us, then.”

“Yeah, you look like you two need it.”

“We walked here from Akiba.”

Hiroki laughed.

“You really are broke, huh.”

“Sorry. I’ll pay you back some other time.”

With what, I didn’t know.

Just then, a pair of silver dart-like aircraft streaked overhead with a deafening rumble. They were flying low- very low. Hiroki jumped up and swiveled his binoculars about, trying to catch the two craft as they rocketed out towards the bay.

“Holy crap! Those are JPAF Mig 21s!”

Hiroki could barely stutter out his identification before a full squadron of additional aircraft roared overhead. These ones were flying a bit higher and sporting a dark blue camouflage. Hiroki gasped.

“Woah. Never thought I’d see this.”

“Another airspace violation?”

“Look who’s chasing them away.”

They looked the same as the F-16s that had made the interception the other day. I didn’t know enough to say there was anything special about them. The blue camo was the only thing different.

“The American Navy?”

Hiroki continued to trace the planes as they disappeared over the bay.

“No. Those aren’t F-18s- those are F-2s.”

“Two, Eighteen, is there a difference?”

“Those are Air Force fighters. Japanese Air Force fighters. We can play that game too, Uncle Yoshi!”

Hiroki ran down to the waterfront to keep the fighters in his binoculars. Ayasa had been a bit startled by Hiroki’s outburst and watched him with suspicion as he stumbled several times.

“Sorry, he’s always like that.”

“Your friend is really into this stuff.”

“Yeah. It runs in his blood, I guess.”

Ayasa had already downed two-thirds of her water bottle. I opened the cap of mine and took a sip. It was thankfully still cold.

“He is a nice person, though.”

Ayasa’s unprompted comment caught me by surprise. I spilled a little water on my shirt.

“Shinji? Yeah, he’s a nice guy.”

There was silence. Hiroki was hollering something incoherent to the North, but it didn’t come between us.

“Um, Higashiyama…”

Ayasa looked at me. A part of me wanted to say something, but what? Sorry? I had already said that. I love you? Not really appropriate. How are things? That felt kind of insensitive. I knew things were bad.

“Hello.”

That was it? That was what I could settle on?

“Hello.”

Ayasa mimicked me back.

“I feel like…I feel like there’s something I need to say here.”

Ayasa cocked her head to the side.

“Oh?”

I began to ramble. It didn’t feel right, like I was saying things that should have been left unsaid. I wasn’t able to stop myself.

“I…kind of screwed up your life, didn’t I? I wasn’t really supposed to be there. I did something really stupid because I thought- well, I wasn’t thinking. I don’t really know you, and this entire time-”
God, why? Why was I letting it all slip like this? I wasn’t even watching the reactions of Ayasa’s face any more.

“-This entire time, I’ve been acting like I knew what was going on. Like I knew that there was some way to fix this. I don’t. I don’t have any idea how to fix this. I don’t even know anything about you. I don’t really know how to help you. I-”

“Stop.”

Ayasa had a scowl on her face. It wasn’t enough.

“Stop? I can’t stop. This is my fault. I need to-”

“No.”

“No? No what?”

Ayasa looked away.

“It’s done. It happened. Don’t obsess over it.”

Ayasa spoke those words with an unexpected determination. It was completely different from the mess she had been at Karaoke. She had accepted her fate.

“Higashiyama…I’m sorry.”

“Leave it at that, then.”

No, I couldn’t do that.

“I still want to help you.”

“You found me a place to stay. I can take care of myself.”

This was all going wrong. Was that really it? Did I have nothing else to offer?

“I want to be your friend.”

Huh? What part of me did that come from?

“Friend?”

“Do they not have those up North?”

Ayasa turned back to me. Her grim scowl had disappeared.

“They do, but…why?”

“Because I want to know more about you.”

An odd wave of relief washed over me. That was it. I wasn’t doing this out of guilt. Everything I had done today was some halfhearted attempt to apologize for something I could never really make amends for. Not this.

“...why?”

Did I have to have a reason?

“Because we never finished talking to each other last night.”

Ayasa bent her brow in consternation.

“We weren’t talking about anything important.”

“I wasn’t asking the right questions.”

A great weight was floating off my shoulders. I had done it. I had pushed the reset button on our relationship. Ayasa wasn’t 100% convinced, but it was a lot easier talking to her when I wasn’t trying to apologize every other sentence.

“Such as?”

“What do you like to do when you’re not going to an underground disco?”

Ayasa thought for a moment.

“Are you going to like the answer?”

“Does it matter?”

A smile cracked across her face- thin, but unmistakable.

“Maybe I like sitting on park benches on a hot day and drinking cold water.”

She took another sip from her bottle. It was almost empty.

“You’re easy to please.”
“When you ask a question that broad, you’re going to get an unsatisfying answer.”

Okay. I can work with that.

“Why were you standing alone there, at the disco last night?”

The smile disappeared into a pout.

“It’s not something you go to with people you know.”

“What, your friends don’t like Southern pop?”

“No. It’s just dangerous to go places like that in groups. Easier to say you just got lost if it’s only one of you.”

Ayasa finished the last of her water. She still looked thirsty.

“Want some?”

I offered her my bottle.

“There’s another bottle.”

She grabbed that and twisted open the top. So much for any hope of an indirect kiss. Not that I was worried about that.

“If you could go with your friends, would you?”

Ayasa thought about this for a little while.

“That might be hard.”

“Hard..how?”

“It’s tough finding people who like the same things you do.”

It felt like Ayasa was trying to steer away from this topic.

“What about those Wessigen kids? You said they liked this stuff too.”

“They…it’s hard to explain.”

Definitely an attempt to deflect.

“How so?”

“They don’t exactly try to make friends with me.”

Ah. There it was. She didn’t have any Wessigen friends.

“That’s a shame.”

Hiroki was walking back now, apparently satisfied that there was no chance of seeing the fighters return.

“Are they gone?”

“Disappeared into the heat haze. Dunno how far they went. Tokyo airspace extends pretty far north. They won’t chase them further than that.”

“I think they’ll be back.”

Hiroki raised his eyebrow at Ayasa’s comment.

“Oh, you know something about this?”

“No. Just a feeling.”

Hiroki sighed.

“Well, I can’t stay around. I gotta go home. Home-home. Need to make sure they haven’t turned my old room into a storage closet.”

“Are you gonna need help moving?”

It would probably fall on me to help him. It was only fair.

“No, so long as Higashiyama here doesn’t need too much storage space. I’ve got a set of everything at home. Just don’t touch the models, they’re delicate.”

Ayasa nodded.

“Well, you two can come over to the place some time tomorrow. I’ll be there to bring some stuff home.”

“Thanks, Shinji.”

Hiroki snapped his fingers into the shape of guns.

“You’re welcome, Nishizawa. Don’t get in any more trouble. Higashiyama- nice meeting you.”

He waved goodbye, leaving us in the park. It was still a few hours until I’d need to take Ayasa back to Miho’s place.

“Well, I’m out of ideas.”

“Ideas for what?”

“How to kill 4 more hours.”

Ayasa scowled again.

“What’s wrong with what we’re doing now?”

Well, for one thing, it was still too hot.