Fine Print

After their last challenge with a MASCOT and all they’d heard about him, the Pop sisters approached Guile with strong and attentive caution. His every move, his body language- they dug through every bit of him in an attempt to find an edge.

“Ohoho! Yes, yes! Another visitor to play my game! Please, do insert the fee.”

“Isn’t that what you said to the last guest?” Frankie asked the cyberpunk carny.

“I think he’s said it to the past few guests.” Katie added.

Ren shot his partner a leer.

“It’s, uh… something I enjoy saying. Why, don’t you two have catchphrases?”

“Not really…” The MASCOT was easy to talk to, at least. Frankie didn’t have much trouble with him.

“Your knee, sir.” Ren reminded him.

“Of course, of course~!” Guile sprung to action, showing off his slot. Katie rolled in the fee.

“Thank you very much. The current prize for beating me is…” He put his finger to his chin while he gyrated his slim belly, generating a raining metal sound. “…746 Tokens. Ready to play?”

“You bet!” Frankie bought into the moment, almost as if she was here for fun.

“Hey.” Katie quickly whispered, snapping her out of it. “Don’t forget, this guy’s strong. We probably won’t beat him on the first try.”

“Strong?” Guile interrupted. “I am the greatest piece of Mass-Assembled Super-Competitive Organized Trickery there is!” Katie ignored him.

“What I mean to say is we shouldn’t be trying to win. We just need to figure out his patterns and scoop up as much info as possible.”

Frankie felt a sigh coming on, but ultimately nodded.

“First, please sign this.”

Ren pulled out a pen along with a massive stack of paperwork, handing it specifically to Frankie. She began to read it, but the thing was longer than most books she’d read.

“Please try not to hold up the line.” He recited.

Anxiously, she just flipped to the last page and put down her name before letting Katie do the same.

“Alright.” Greeted the MASCOT. “Let’s start the game already!” He clapped his hands together after spreading his arms as far as they would go. “I’m not tired.”

In a cut so jarring they almost wanted to throw up, their entire surroundings disappeared. They weren’t in the virtual city anymore, but somewhere else. Somewhere with just Guile and his secretary.

“Welcome to my personal domain.”

You couldn’t see the tops of the shelves. It was an endless library of a trillion experiences- a collection of what might’ve just been every game known to man.

“How is this…” Frankie began, until he jumped in front of her vision.

“Anything is possible in the digital realm! You wanted to challenge me? Go ahead! Select a game.”

In the studio that was the central hub of the grand library, Ren had a desk. From it, he pulled a white bar, and threw it to Guile- who handed it to Frankie.

“…What do I do with this?”

“It’s a search bar. Find us a game.”

“…Okay. Wow. That’s a… lot of options to think through.”

“Make it speedy now.” He pointed to the grandfather clock next to the nearest shelf. “In the real fake world, you’re just standing in place as an animation plays of us enjoying a game that doesn’t exist. Nobody sees this spot until they step into the ring.” He took some time to admire the grand collection while Ren sat watching blankly, waiting for him to screw up again. “You have thirty minutes to beat me in any game in existence. Board, video, it doesn’t matter. Pick a sport for all I care. Kidney’s assembled most of them here.”

Frankie was trembling a little when she faced Katie. How is that possible? Wouldn’t someone have beaten him by now if they could choose whatever game they wanted? More importantly-

“What- what do we pick?!”

“Clock’s ticking…” The imp taunted.

“Are there any games we’re good at…?” Katie thought back to when they were kids, still relatively calm.

“I can’t remember! I feel like I’ve lost at everything since the day I was born!”

“Well that’s not true, you’ve beaten plenty of guys during this tournament!” Katie took a break from her brainstorming to bring her sister back to reality. “And even before that, you didn’t scream on that coaster, and you beat that Olympic swimmer… er- I guess you didn’t do that one…”

Frankie was about to pull out her hair at this rate, so she just lifted the bar and got ready to type.

“Screw it! Uh, uh… T!”

She hit the most popular thing that came up under the letter, looking for familiarity. Simplicity. Something she knew.

Guile smiled, a whiteboard flying over.

“Tic. Tac. Toe. Yes, perfect. Okay, you go first.” He sat in front of them, moving chairs for the girls to take.

“You picked… tic-tac-toe..?” Katie seemed to question.

“We’re running out of time!”

“No, I don’t have a problem with it!” Katie leaned. “Just expected you to pick that old Percy Phytoplankton game you were always looking for online.”

“Wait… shit, I should’ve! But… no. They couldn’t possibly have had that, could they?”

“I wouldn’t speak so surely…” Guile lifted the bar, propping it over his elbow. “P-E-R… er… no, can’t say we do.”

“Aw, man…” Frankie groaned. “Wait, I’ve never even played that one! It wouldn’t have been a good choice if they did have it! Still, I would’ve liked to see it…” She longed.

Guile was crossing his arms and humming happily. He was winning.

“Frankie? We have twenty-four minutes.”

“AGH!” The obsessive little sister came to her senses again, grabbing a dry-erase marker and looking down at the board. “It’s a short game, it won’t matter! Who goes first?”

“He said-“

“I believe you go first.” Guile repeated smugly. Frankie gave him a searing look before making her first move- a red X on her bottom right.

“Funny move, picking a solved game. Ties don’t count as a victory for either side, just so you know. Unless, that is, you run out of time during your little antics.” He giggled as he sketched a green circle in the middle of the field.

We don’t need to win. Frankie reminded herself, and handed the marker to Frankie. We just need to figure out his abilities.

With a smile, Katie slapped another X just above Frankie’s. Guile followed up by putting an O above that.

Frankie was still panicking despite her own reassurance. But- how the hell are we supposed to do that when I picked such a simple game?!

Frankie blocked his next turn’s win state with a cross on the bottom left corner, so Guile in response put an O next to his previous one in the middle of the top row.

Katie put down her last X, right next to his circle, in some degree of shame.

“Aaand that’s a tie.” The MASCOT chuckled. “But don’t worry. You still have fifteen minutes left to figure them out. Tell me, are you determined?”

Ren glared at the man.

Frankie rose the search bar once again, suddenly grinning.

“Determined? I’ve got my answer already.”

“Oh? Oh! I see what I’ve done. How clumsy of me! Now this… this is interesting.”