The Town Carnival I

"My hair's getting long," Lili is standing in front of the mirror, running her hand through her hair that now reaches a bit past her shoulders. Turning my head in the mirror, I examined my growing roots, "Yeah. Maybe we should get haircuts," I suggested, "I need to redye it anyways."

She quickly shook her head, "Noooo! You look cute with longer hair," she ruffled her hands in my freshly brushed hair, leaving it messy again. I chuckled, reaching for the brush to fix it again, "Alright, if you say so."

Turning back to the mirror, Lili tied her hair into a low ponytail and adjusted the belt she wrapped around her waist. Today, we were headed to a nearby carnival; our usual outfits would probably get caught in the rides and whatnot, so we got outfits for the occasion. Unintentionally, we found ourselves dressed identically in a frilly shirt tucked into brown shorts with matching belts.

Lili glanced back and forth between us, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Before she could say anything, I raised a finger in her direction, cutting her off.

"Don't you even think about it," I warned, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.

"Oookay… but your face tells me all I need to know," she chuckled and turned away from the mirror, "Anyways, are we ready to go?"

Quickly trying to hide my face behind my sleeves, I let out a slight noise of agreement. Almost instantly, Lili conjured the magical stake in her hands. Like a familiar routine, I followed her outside like a dog following his owner. On the stake, I gently grabbed her waist as she zipped us swiftly through the town, the wind brushing against our skin.

It wasn't long before the sounds of cheery music flooded our ears, causing us to stop and "park" the stake.

"No one's gonna steal it?"

Lili shakes her head, "It's magically bound to me. It physically rejects everyone that isn't you or me."
—
As we stepped into the carnival, the smell of popcorn mixed with the wooden rollercoasters floated in the air. Next to the booths were various signs prohibiting magic from being used inside. Lili held up a pouch of coins and rattled them playfully.

"Let's play," she grinned mischievously, leading me to a booth with two fake guns lined up side by side, standing around 10 feet away from the targets. Giant plushies adorned the top, and she shot them a determined look. I admired as Lili clumsily aimed the gun and rested it on her shoulder. She fired a dart, hitting it several inches away from the bullseye.

Lili scoffed at herself, glancing back at me. As a consolation prize, she was given a small butterfly plushie that she paraded proudly as we walked through the carnival, trying our hand at different games along the way.

We reached a skee ball game, or the medieval equivalent of a skee ball game. For some reason, she insisted on winning a bigger prize from this one but just couldn't do it.

"Here, let me help," I gently reached for her hand, but she swatted it away.

"No. Let me try one more time," she insisted.

Lili held the ball in her hands, swinging her arm back and releasing it. The ball dropped into a middle hole, not the target she wanted. She looked back at me with a mix of frustration and acceptance, silently asking for my help.

I guided her fragile hand gently to not accidentally hurt it, aligning her shot with the top hole. I swung her hand back, and she released it; we watched as the ball rolled into the desired target. She looked at the prizes, pointing at a giant lamb plush.

"You know, I didn't want you to help because I wanted to give this to you," she chuckled, handing the plush to me.

"Me? I think you deserve it a lot more than I do," I offered, handing it back to her.

"What did I do? You helped me get it."

"Well, you help me much more than I help you in general."

"Hey," she pointed a finger at me, "No self-deprecating talk here, okay? I love you," she gave me a sweet smile and pushed the plush into my arms. I knew I had lost this battle.

I glanced away from her, "I…"

"You don't have to say it," she interrupted, pulling me into a comforting embrace, her head resting on top of mine as she gently patted my back.
—
After an hour of playing games and riding small rollercoasters, we decided to take a break and eat. As she's munching on a turkey leg, Lili looks at me.

"Are you having fun, Haru?"

I hesitate to answer, settling for a slight nod.

Her face turns puzzled, "Something's on your mind again; what's up?"

"I am having fun. It's just…" I trailed off, struggling to put my thoughts into words, "Do I deserve to have fun? I'm scared that if I'm having fun, it means I'm moving on from her. I'd rather stay trapped in an endless cycle of pain than confront the possibility that I might… not care anymore."

"How about this," she put on a patient smile, "If Touko were here right now, would you be talking to her about me every chance you got?"

I pondered her question and responded with guilt lodged in my throat, "Probably… not."

"Then you're not moving on. It's best to cross that bridge when you come to it, okay?"

Her words provided me with a brief comfort. Yet I realized that with each passing moment I spend with Lili, my attachment to her only grows stronger, to be cruelly reminded of the inevitable. I've already lost one person I loved; how could I possibly recover when another passes too? I feel Lili's hand on my head, pulling me out of my thoughts and back into the present.

"For what little time I have, I'm glad it's you I'm with," she whispered in my ear as if she could read my thoughts. I reciprocated her touch and leaned into her again, resting my head on her shoulder.

In the distance was a reverberating laughter emitting from a stage, disrupting our moment. Somehow I wasn't mad, though. The charismatic performer on stage held a magnetic presence, captivating everyone with his dazzling magic.

"Well… I'm going to try the gun game again. You can watch the performance if you want."

Okay, everyone except her, I guess.