You Only Get One Shot

Click. And...send. The final chapter of The Hero's Facing His Greatest Challenge Yet!, sent to my N*rou page, greets me on the cracked screen of my cell phone. After two months of nonstop writing, it's over. I flop back on the wall outside the back of the Kyoudai Mart, relieved. Back when I posted my first few chapters and they didn't even crack 200 combined views, I thought I was done. I'd have a better chance winning the lottery than winning that million. Now, my novel stands at 5,430 views.

I could have never imagined that somehow, I would have one of the top authors on the site coaching me. It's honestly for that reason alone that I've been able to make it as far as I have. Not just because she's good at writing- I honestly don't think I could have come up with the plot twist that ends my story if she hadn't pointed me in the right direction, or challenged me- but because just knowing she's going to be there, waiting for my next chapter, gave me the strength to keep going until I reached the end.

The final chapter did surprise her. When I switch apps, the messages I sent last night burn brightly on the screen.

@KurokamiSeigo: Wow! I wasn't expecting that ending

In the end, good triumphed over evil. But not in the way that you might think. Alfred didn't develop a new power out of nowhere to defeat Farisa and save all of the Six Kingdoms. I tied it back to something I mentioned in the first chapter. When I wrote it, it was a throwaway detail- I didn't plan for it to be used for anything more than getting my word count up. That was, until I realized that it could be used to save my hero from certain death. Without Seigo Kurokami, I wouldn't have been able to figure that out.

...I'm not gonna tell you how Alfred won, though, because that'll give it away. A good author doesn't spoil his own climax.

@KurokamiSeigo: That usage of a plot device was actually really clever. When I first read it, I thought it was a case of classic "LN hero gets new powers to save the day just in time" but then I remembered chapter 1

@KurokamiSeigo: I went back and when I read the part about the goddess it made perfect sense all of the sudden

@KurokamiSeigo: That's actually incredible lol

@rayfar_horizon: can I tell you a secret?

...

@rayfar_horizon: I didn't plan that far ahead

@KurokamiSeigo: Lmao no way

@KurokamiSeigo: You're messing with me

@rayfar_horizon: No I promise

...I wonder why Hashigami picked my novel, of all the ones that she could have. I still don't have a good answer. Maybe it's my fault for thinking there was a deeper reason for Seigo Kurokami to give me feedback and advice instead of pure chance. She could be telling the truth- she just stumbled across my novel and liked it, and I assume there's some kind of meaningful reason for her actions when it was nothing but luck. If I take it that way, it means that if I didn't have the courage to message her that fateful day when she liked my novel-in-progress, none of this would have ever happened. My novel would be generic from the beginning to the end, with maybe 300 views if I'm lucky. Or maybe I would have given up out of discouragement before I reached the conclusion.

@KurokamiSeigo: I wanted to say something

@KurokamiSeigo: When I first started reading your story it had some promise but it was still clearly a work in progress

@KurokamiSeigo: Looking at how far you've come with these past few chapters, it's like night and day

@KurokamiSeigo: I think you've got a pretty good chance of making it far in the contest

@KurokamiSeigo: and I wanted you to know

@KurokamiSeigo: I'm rooting for you

@KurokamiSeigo: ...was I being too corny?

@KurokamiSeigo: (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

@rayfar_horizon: No

@rayfar_horizon: Thank you for taking so much time to help me with YuuSai

@KurokamiSeigo: I enjoyed reading it

@KurokamiSeigo: If you write something else, let me know!

I also wonder how she's still willing to talk to me ever since I put my foot in my mouth that day.

Saying things have gone back to exactly how they were before I exposed myself in public for being the broke loser that I am wouldn't exactly be a true statement. We've continued to talk online, but mainly about my novel. Neither of us brings up any personal stuff anymore. In a way, it's like we're back at square one, back to the day that she first liked my novel.

That's probably for the best. I don't want her to see how pathetic I really am. She already saw it once when I lost it on her. I'd rather not repeat that. Even the memory makes me cringe. I'm sure she feels the same way.

But now that my novel is done, there's not much reason for us to talk anymore. My chance at that money is out of both of our hands. The most I can do is sit and wait, and hope that the contest judges like my novel as much as Hashigami did.

...It really does make me feel sad.

I do like talking to her. Her messages were the one bright spot in my normally miserable life. Every time I saw new LIMEs from her, I'd open them like a kid getting his New Year's money. And before fate conspired to whack me upside the head with a baseball bat, the one time we did meet up in public was fun.

I'm gonna be upset now that I don't have a good reason to message her anymore...but I don't have the courage to just LIME her and chat. Our relationship is already too awkward for that.

I enjoy being around her, and the thought of not being able to talk to her makes me sad. Does that mean we're friends? But if we really were friends, I wouldn't have said all those things I regret-

"Yo, dude." The back door swings open, and I instinctively jump back and cover up my phone. Right on cue, it's the last guy I wanted to see looking at my messages.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" He bends over, placing his obnoxiously tanned face way closer to mine than it has any right to be.

I want to yell NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, but I don't have the confidence for it. So I just turn away and mumble "Nothing."

"Seriously, dude. I don't bite." Miyata takes out one of his favorite cancer sticks and lights it up. The smoke begins to float in my direction, and instinctively I cough. "Ohhhh. I get it. You got yourself a girlfriend, right? Good for you, man!"

"...I don't have a girlfriend."

"Aw, come on. Don't be modest. You're out here every break on LIME the whole time." My coworker is now on the same side of the door as me, invading my personal space. "She's one of those clingy girls, I bet. You know, the ones that make you text them every thirty minutes with what you're doing. Botan was clingy like that. She was my first girl, in high school. I gotta warn you, it's cute at first, but it gets annoying later on. She started getting mad at me every time I was with my friends and I knew I had to end it when she came at me with a box cutter because I was talking to a freshman girl. But congrats, dude. I knew you had it in ya."

I don't know what's sadder, the fact that he's stupid enough that he thinks I have a girlfriend despite all evidence to the contrary, or that he seems genuinely happy for me. He's a DQN yankee who lives in the tanning salon and pays multiple women child support- trash- and yet he's acting like this.

I mean, just think about it. A guy like me, broke, socially awkward, living in a dump, getting a girlfriend. There's absolutely no way.

...But if it did happen, by some miracle, would she be like Hashigami?

Ugh. Why don't I wonder what would happen if I won the lottery while I'm at it? There's no way I get a girlfriend within the next hundred years.

"So? Have you two smashed yet?"

"Huh?!" I shrink back, half out of fear, half out of indignance. "I said I don't have a girlfriend! Were you listening?!"

"Yeah, yeah." He shrugs, taking another long drag on his cigarette. "I get it, you're humble. Listen, have you decided what you're gonna get her for Christmas yet? That's the big ticket. If you get her something really luxurious, she'll love you forever and then you've got it made. She'll agree with everything you do from then on out. But if you get her the wrong thing, you're up shit creek. I was gonna take Rimi out to dinner- I had a table booked at Chez Foucault and everything, but then Ayaka calls me up and starts screaming at me that I still haven't paid child support- total bullshit, I paid it this month-"

He continues to spout his usual nonsense. I'm not paying attention, though. Not that I'm interested in what he's saying in the first place- but today, I'm even less so. My mind is filled with nothing but the girl I met that day, in front of the park with the fountains, with the ribbons in her hair.

...I don't want to stop talking to her. But at the same time, I'm scared. I'm walking on eggshells. If I say the wrong thing, then she thinks I'm a creep, and it really is over. I'm not trying to do anything weird with her. I'm really not. She's my friend and I want to keep in touch with her.

If I don't force myself to take that step, I really will lose the first friend I've made ever since my life shattered to pieces, and I can't let that happen.

I have an idea. She drug me everywhere downtown and showed me her favorite spots, so I want to do the same thing. Even if I don't have money, and even if I don't know where anything is downtown. I'll fake it till I make it.

Googol. "Where to buy Elves Chronicle merchandise in Aomori."

Bingo. There's a merchandise store in a mall east of town. I'll surprise her. If this doesn't convince her of my sincerity about being sorry for what I said that day on the bridge, then nothing will.

Deep breath. Here goes nothing.

@rayfar_horizon: Would you like to hang out again sometime? I found a store that you might enjoy.

The answer to my question doesn't come until six more hours of stocking shelves. Usually, the worst thing about my job is my obnoxious, lazy coworkers and the even more obnoxious doorbell. But today, it's nerve-wracking. It's not until I change out of my uniform and exit the store into the bitter cold of the Tohoku evening that I get to look at my phone again.

You have 1 new LIME message.

With shaking hands, I slowly unlock my phone.

@KurokamiSeigo: This Friday, after school? Same place we met up last time.

@KurokamiSeigo: If that's alright.

...I work a morning shift on Friday.

She doesn't hate me after all.