Unsettle Feelings

Something doesn't seem right when I left Chigusa-san home earlier. For one thing, she told me to stop before we even arrived at her house. That's three houses away. Anyhow, a part of me thinks that she probably embarrassed (to be seen with me) although her face is telling me otherwise. As if she's afraid of something.

Perhaps I should ask her at school tomorrow.

It was no use. Chigusa didn't come to school the next day. I want to ask someone about her, but unfortunately I wasn't that close to any of those kids from my class. Her absence remains for a few more days. I couldn't help but wonder if it have something to do with the food that she had eaten from my home but I quickly discarded it out of respect for my mother.

On the third day, Chigusa's re-appear out of a thin air.

Unlike the last time I saw her, she looks a little pale and sickly. A visible eyebags can also be seen, but Chigusa quickly hides it with her bangs. Then, walking ever so slowly - she sat on her chair, unphased by many eyes that are locked on her.

"Why does Chigusa-san look so shitty today?" I heard one of the girls whispers. Her friend only shrug her shoulders before looking at the blackboard.

Time passed so quickly that the next time I glance at my watch - it's already recess time. I watch Chigusa facing her head down on the table, unmoved. Is she... alright? I begin to walk towards her table. Just when I was about to tap on her shoulder, Chigusa slowly lifted her head and turn at me. Our eyes locked. 

"Miyamura-san." she utters. I show her a faint smile.

"Chigusa-san, are you alright?"

She nodded her head lightly. I sigh off a relief. Chigusa tries to stand up, but couldn't bring herself to it. Later, she sits on her chair again, looking slightly defeated.

"You don't look alright. Do you need to go see the nurse?"

"No. That wouldn't be necessary."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm quite sure."

I take an empty seat in front of Chigusa. That chair belongs to Nakamura, but she's out and about with her friends right now. Normally, I would never borrow others belonging without permission, but I have to ask where she been these past couple of days. 

"Chigusa-san..."

"I know what you wanna ask. Please don't. I'm really not in the mood right now."

"You've been gone for nearly four days. That's a long time. Have you been sick?"

"Something like that. But, I'm back now. I feel much better,"

"Are you sure?"

"What are you saying? You think I'm lying?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just... worry about you, I guess."

"You guess? So, you're not even sure if you're worry about me or not? Is that it? "

"No, no... I am worried about you. I wanna help you in any way I can. Is that alright, Chigusa-san?"

"I'm not sure. How can you possibly help me, Miyamura-san? You don't even know a first thing about me. We're just a fake boyfriend and boyfriend." she shot back. 

"I realize that. I do wanted too know you, Chigusa-san. And I would say hello to you mom, if you let me."

"No."

"No?"

"Yes. You don't have to meet her."

"Why not? I could try to win her over."

"It doesn't matter. She will never approve of you."

"Is that so? I'll be on my best behavior then."

"Even if you act nice and polite, she would definitely hate your guts."

"Is it because of the way I look?"

"No. Looks have nothing to do with it. It just... Ah, everything is so complicated! You don't have to meet her, okay?"

"You meet my mom. It's only fair if I meet yours."

"Ughh! What is it with you and my mom? Why you so eager to meet her?"

"Because she's the woman who help raised you Chigusa-san. I would like to pay my respect."

"Please don't. You're just gonna make everything things difficult for me. Now could you please go away? I need to continue my sleep."

"Recess is almost over. Don't you wanna eat first?"

"NOOO! I'm good. Thanks." she quickly shouts before lay her head on the top of the desk again. I'm sensing that whatever is bothering Chigusa, it must have something to do with food. I silently left out a little sigh.

"Okay, if you say so. I was just about to share my mom's onigiri with you. Looks like I've to eat it on my own now."

"Hold on... Onigiri you say?" Chigusa head lifted. I nodded.

"You want some?" I said and handed her a piece of onigiri. She take it from my hand and say;

"Thank you."

I watch Chigusa slowly eating the onigiri I gave her. It didn't take her long to wolf everything down. As soon as she's done, she turn her pretty at me again, asking another. I handed another piece to her. She ate that one too. Her smiles quickly returns as soon as she's finished.

"That was delicious. Thank you, Miyamura-san." she said.  I smile and lightly nodded.

"You're most welcome." I said. Chigusa suddenly cover her mouth.

"Oh, I feel awful of me! I have eaten most of your lunch. What will you eat?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm not really that hungry anyways."

"Are you sure? Hold on. Let me compensate you for your troubles." she said before fetching her purse. 

"Here." she said and handed me 3000 yen. I frown.

"What is this?"

"For the onigiri's."

"No, thank you. You can keep it."

"Not enough? I can give you some more."

"No, that's not it. I can't accept this, Chigusa-san."

"Why not?"

"Because it is too much and not my intention."

"I see. Well, I only meant well."

"I know you do. Well, if you're done, I'm just gonna go now. Bye, Chigusa-san." I said. I didn't even look back. I heard the sound of chair being pulled out and realize that she's already out from her seat. Her eyes are staring straight at me.

"Miyamura-san?"

"Yes?"

"Are you.... are you serious about coming over to my house?"

 "Yes. Is that okay."

"It depends. How well do you think you be able to handle my mother?"

"I don't know. I have to meet her first, I guess."

"Okay then. Why don't you come home with me after school today?"

"Today?"

"You don't want to? Are your nervous?"

"No, no. Of course not. I'll go with you. Yes, absolutely."

"Fine. Meet me outside of the gate at after 3 o'clock."

"You got it. I'll be there." I said. A few seconds later, the classroom begin to flood with people again. I look at the clock on the wall. It's no wonder.

And just like that, the recess is over.

- End of Chapter 5 -