Getting to Know You

"You're joking, right?" I asked back. Chigusa shakes her head. 

"No, I'm actually quite serious."

"B....but... We just met."

"Why not? Don't you like me?" 

"I do. But, to kiss you... is a different matter." I replied back. She sighs and stopped walking.

"Everyone seems to like me. Why don't you?" she asked back. 

"So you kiss everyone who says they like you? Is that how it is?"

"Pretty much. At least that's what I was taught anyway."

"That's crazy! Who are teaching you these things?" 

"My mom."

"Your mom?"

"Yes. Well, she's not really my mom, but she did raise me. She the only mother I know."

"She's your stepmom, then?"

"Yes."

"Sorry for asking, but where's your real mother?"

"She died when I was young. I never met her."

"That unfortunate. And this 'mom' of yours... She telling you to kiss people?"

"Sometimes. Mainly to get me out from stuff. She said it's easier for me anyways since I'm pretty and all, you know?"

"And you believe her?"

"Yes. She's my mom. Of course I believe her."

'Sounds sketchy, but what do I know, right? I'm just an outsider.' I think to myself. 

Chigusa smiles a little. Our surrounding has suddenly turns quiet.

"So, are we gonna do it?" she asked again. I immediately shake my head.

"No."

"Never?" she added. 

"We can kiss... but only if we both want it." I added. 

"Oh, is that so?" Chigusa reply with narrow eyes. I shake my head.

"Stop looking at me like that. Now, there's something I been meaning to ask you, Chigusa-san."

"About what?"

"Why do you wanna throw yourself away on that rooftop?" I ask her in serious voice. 

Chigusa picks up her teacup and bring it closer to her mouth, "Oh, I thought we're not gonna discuss about that anymore."

"Perhaps you don't want to talk about it, but I find it odd for a girl like you to be doing such a thing."

"I'm sorry, but a girl 'like' me?"

"Smart and pretty."

Chigusa chuckles. I'm still waiting for her answer.

"Well?" I asked again. She sigh. 

"I'm sure you heard about the rumors."

"What rumors?"

"About me and that teacher, Mr Naoki."

" Oh, the new transfer teacher? I didn't remember hearing anything about that."

"It's on the chat group. Haven't you seen it?"

"No. I'm probably not in it."

"Oh. Sorry, I don't mean to offend you, Miyamura-san."

"Don't worry. I'm not offended at all. It's understandable if I wasn't in any of those groups. I don't have a lot of friends, you know?"

"Really? But, you seem normal to me, Miyamura-san." she commented.

"Thanks. Tell that to the class." I reply nonchalantly. Chigusa look at me for the longest time.

"I been wandering this for a long time. But, why does people avoid you, Miyamura-san?" she asked. I left out a heavy sigh.

"Who knows? Probably because of the way I look."

"What's wrong with the way you look?" 

"Look at me, Chigusa-san. My face look like a delinquent. Even I was little, I was told by a relatives that I look nothing like my parents. Some even joked that I might be adopted." i said.

Chigusa crossed her arms, "How cruel. Not all families have to look alike."

"I know. But Shota, my little brother is different. He looks a lot like my dad when he's younger. People always point it out whenever we're together."

"Did he? Good for him, I suppose." Chigusa replied. I quickly shake my head in disagreement.

"No, no, no... You don't understand. That's not all they said. My aunt commented that he looks like an angel when he sleep. An angel! Can you believe it?"

"Angel?" Chigusa almost gasped. She later left out a chuckle.

"I know right? Clearly she haven't stay with Shota long enough to know what he like. They keep on praising and coddling him solely because of his appearance. Now, I don't wanna sound like a mean and bitter older brother, but I worry if Shota gonna grow up to be a bad kid."

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll turn out great." Chigusa said, trying to cheer me up.

I find that hard to believe. Shota a great kid? It's hard to imagine.

"You wanna know how I know?" Chigusa continues.

"How?"

"It's because he have you, Miyamura-san as his brother. You might not notice this yet, but Shota-kun listens and look up to you, Miyamura-san. A lot."

"Is that so? I never even notice. Thank you for saying that. There's only so much I can do without our father." i reply.

"Your father. Where's he now?"

"He unfortunately passed away a couple of years back. There's only three of us now."

"I see. Well my father is still around, but I hardly ever see him around." Chigusa respond solemnly.

"Oh, and why is that?"

"He's stationed overseas. I only see him once or twice a year."

"Do you miss him?"

"Sometimes. He rarely calls and even if he does - my mom is the only one who can speak to him. It's better this way. My father and I don't have anything to say to one another."

"Speaking about your mom... how is she? Does she treat you nicely at home?"

"She does. There's only two of us at home so we have to find a way to get along. I become a model as result."

"You? A model? I have no idea."

"It's mainly just for teen fashion magazine and stuff. I was using an alias and I never tell anybody at school about it. Then, two months ago - a kid from our class found out about it. That's when..."

"What?" 

"The rumors starts. Then, the bullying... " Chigusa said, almost inaudible. 

"Sorry you have to deal with that. Kid these days. Always jealous with someone else achievement when they have none."

"Well, you know how kids are. Jealousy is normal so I didn't take it to heart. It's only when they involved Mr. Naoki that I... I feel sorry for him." she added.

I stayed silent. Mr. Naoki is our new transfer teacher. He only stayed at our school for two months. Honestly, I don't remember that man well.

"He just want everyone to get along, you know? When he confronted the girls about the bullying, they don't take it too well and begin to spread rumors about him. The rumors had gotten so bad, he had to change school. All because of me!"

"I'm sorry for asking this again. But, is that why you went to the rooftop to kill yourself?"

from killing yourself again."

"Please don't remind me. I wish I could just forget about it." she said and kneel down. Shit. I probably said too much. Without thinking, I also kneel down besides her and quickly apologize.

"I'm sorry, Chigusa-san. That's very rude of me. Please forgive me?" I said. 

Chigusa lifted up her head and look me in the eyes before saying, "Thank you for apologizing. I too promise that I won't be causing any problem or troubling you in the future."

"Nah, it's okay for you to do that."

"What?"

"After all, we are fake 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend', aren't we?" I added. Chigusa smiles again.

"Yes. Yes, we are." 

 - End of Chapter 4-