The Beginning Of The End Of Winter

It had been a week since Satō Fuyumi disappeared.

No one knew where she went. No one could get in contact with her. Not even Kazuyuki. She was well known for disappearing without a trace, but this was on a whole new level. Since her disappearance, all Kazuyuki had done was try to find out where she had gone. He went to the teacher’s office, but they had no information about her location, which worried him immensely. How could the school not know where one of their students was?

Days went by, and Fuyumi was still missing. Kazuyuki couldn’t help but worry about her. His friends tried their best to comfort him, but their methods weren’t effective enough to free him from his anxious state.

“It’s Kazuyuki’s birthday this weekend. We’re still going through with the party, right?”

“I don’t know– Ow! Why’d you hit me?”

“Shush. Yes, it’s still pushing through.”

Kazuyuki couldn’t care less about his upcoming birthday.

Enlisting the help of Sanderson-sensei, Kazuyuki found out that this had happened before: Fuyumi was supposed to be a year above Kazuyuki and his friends, but suddenly she disappeared without any notice, and when she returned to school, she had to redo her second year. The true reason for her previous disappearance was undisclosed by her and her parents; the excuse they gave the school was that she was very ill at the time.

So many questions about why her parents wouldn’t tell the school the truth and the true reason Fuyumi disappeared roamed in his mind. Was Fuyumi very ill again? The new information he had uncovered just made him more anxious.

His anxiety and curiosity were notable enough that even his mother was worried about him. She would ask him about what was going on, but he would give her vague answers. With the rest of his friends and family’s attempts being futile, it was Ami’s turn to step up and confront Kazuyuki. After school, Ami approached him.

“Sano-kun, let’s go on a date.”

“A date?”

“Yes.” Ami took him by the hand and dragged him away.

As they walked through the snow-covered town, Kazuyuki would follow Ami to different shops, trying to play along with this date scenario Ami had forced upon him. She would force him to try out different outfits, but he wasn’t interested in picking out new clothing. She also treated him to some udon at the town’s famous udon restaurant, but he barely ate anything. All he could think about was Fuyumi.

“Kazuyuki-kun!” Ami called out, trying to catch his attention.

“Yes? Sorry. I was just– Wait. Did you just call me by my first name?”

“I thought that would wake you up.”

“Sorry, Senpai.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I know you’re worried about Satō-san.”

Kazuyuki lowered his head to signal that she was correct. Unable to bear the depressed look on her friend’s face, she decided now was the time to show him something she found.

“Come with me. I have something to show you.”

It was dark when they returned to school. Ami led them to the side of the school, which had a gap in the fence. She squeezed through it.

“Ichikawa-senpai, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“It’s fine. No one will know we’re here. Come on.”

Giving into peer pressure, Kazuyuki slipped through the gap in the fence and followed Ami into the school.

First, they sneaked into the teacher’s office to grab the keys to the club room. 

“Senpai, what are you doing?”

“Just trust me.”

She took the keys from the container and left the office.

They slowly tiptoed through the corridors of the empty school. Their school had a guard that roamed the school during the night, so they had to be extremely cautious. It was almost thrilling, and it allowed Kazuyuki to get his mind off of Fuyumi’s situation. They came across the night guard and had to hide in order to not be detected. They rushed up the stairs and arrived at the club room.

“What are we doing here?”

“There’s something I need to show you.”

Ami opened a drawer and pulled out a pile of papers. She scanned through the pile until she found a particular paper. She handed it to Kazuyuki. Looking at the paper, he noticed it was one of the newspapers new club members had to write during enrolment. He then noticed a name on the byline. This was Satō Fuyumi’s first article.

“Read it. It may give you some needed information.”

Kazuyuki began to read the paper titled “Social Anxiety is Everywhere”.

“Social anxiety is defined as the overwhelming fear of social situations, which include but are not limited to anxiety from phone calls, shopping, conversing, and panic attacks. They may also be affect by other mental health issues, such as depression and generalised anxiety disorders. This negatively affects their relationships with others, where it can hinder and prevent them from establishing friendships and can constantly influence their lives.”

From the first paragraph, Kazuyuki was enlightened. This was an article about anxiety, but more specifically, the anxiety Fuyumi dealt with. Looking back on his time with her, he did notice how detached she was from others, distancing herself from them. She never went outside, she never gave her social media to anyone, she never physically touched anyone. Maybe this was the reason he felt like he could never truly connect with her. How did he not notice this? He was arguably the person closest to her, and yet, he knew nothing about her.

Later that night, Kazuyuki lay still on his bed, contemplating what he had just learnt about Fuyumi. As the hours went by, all he could feel was agony and worry for his missing friend. But was she truly missing? Maybe she decided to not return to school and stay confined to her home. It was now clear to him that she struggled to interact with people, and so her anxiety would worsen due to this. He looked through his past text conversations with her, which didn’t really help how much he missed her. At this point, he was clinging onto hope, praying that she was alright and safe, and that hopefully she would return one day.