Heavy Metal Heart

“Seriously?! You’re name is Masafumi?!” exclaimed Ikki, howling with laughter. Ikki, Saiki, Fumi, and I were all sitting together for lunch—a first for me (and I'm pretty sure for everyone included too). Fumi wasn’t the least bit amused by Ikki’s teasing and she looked like she was ready to sock the back of his head. But Ikki’s laughter was infectious, I’ll tell you that. It got me and Saiki joining in with stifled giggles. “So-So-So…you’re telling me,” said Ikki in between laughter, “that her father named her after one of his g-guitar heroes without knowing that she was a g-g-girl?! Hahahaha! And he was drunk when he named her too?! That’s hilarious!”

“What’s going to be hilarious is you living the rest of today with a bump on your head if you don’t shut up,” Fumi snapped at him.

“Whoa there, mister, no need to get violent,” joked Ikki. I have to say that I respect Ikki’s fearlessness. If that was me, on the other hand, I would’ve shut my mouth for good.

“I’m a girl!” retorted Fumi with flustered cheeks. She looked more irritated than a ruffled cat.

“Hey, maybe next time I’ll call you Masatah (“Master”)! How would you like that?” teased Ikki cheekily.

“Takara Ikki! I’m going to shut you up for good!” declared Fumi, rising from the table. And just like a childish game of tag, Ikki ran out of the room with a carefree smile on his face while being chased by a rampaging Fumi. “Don’t you dare get away!” she screamed as they ran down the hall.

“They look like they could be pretty close,” commented Saiki.

“You really think so?”

“Anyway,” she said, changing the subject, “I think we’re ready to complete and finish up the tracks we’re working on.”

“We just need to mix them,” I told her.

“That’s five tracks!” she exclaimed happily.

“Say, did you have an idea about how many tracks you wanted yo record?” I asked her.

“I’d say around eight is good,” she told me. “That’s about the same number of tracks you’ve written already too.”

“I hope we can finish the easy ones quickly. That way, we can put all of our focus working on track three since that’s the one we’ll have to start again from scratch,” I said.

“Ooh! I have some ideas I want to put on some of the tracks,” she announced to me.

“Like what?”

She looked to her right and smiled secretly to herself. “That’s for you to find out later,” she told me cryptically.

School had ended and we agreed to meet at KABANG! at the usual time. Since I had a few hours before our session, I went home and took a look at my uploads. They were doing quite well. I checked on their statistics and noticed that a lot of my own original songs were having more views than my covers. But the funny thing was that my most trending videos were my guitar covers of popular rock/metal songs and guitar shredding.

I glanced at my guitar and the inspiration to create an entirely new video struck me. I grabbed it and plugged it in. After about a few seconds of standing with the guitar strapped across my shoulders, I randomly struck a chord ('A' power chord). And then my hands moved on their own and I composed the riff right on the spot. After playing it repeatedly and modifying it little by little according to what I subconsciously thought sounded better, I had the final product ready. It sounded massive and heavy, but also melodic and catchy. I quickly pulled up the recording app on my phone and recorded the riff.

The time to meet up with Haruto Saiki came quickly before I knew it. Time really does pass by fast when you’re so focused on something. I put my video on hold and promptly left for KABANG!

Saiki had arrived first and was waiting for me in the studio. Once I arrived, we immediately went to work on the tracks. We first listened to the tracks and looked for things that we wanted to rerecord, change, edit, or add to. Once we knew what we wanted to do, we went to work. Saiki added vocal harmonies to a few verses and choruses, some ad-libs and vocal runs for intrigue and texture, as well as varied singing styles to provide a more interesting color palette. As for me, I used the studio guitars to add some leads, harmonies, and octaves to make the tracks feel a little more alive and fascinating.

When we were finished with the additions, Saiki said to me, “Remember what I told you this afternoon at school?”

Her words brought back what she had said to me during lunch this afternoon. “What things do you want to add?” I asked her curiously.

She got up and left the studio. I was left confused by her actions and just sat there with a dumb look on my face. ‘Just what is she planning?’ I wondered to myself. A few seconds later, Saiki came back in with a big cardboard box in her hands. She happily set it on the floor and I took a look inside. There were horns, spoons, rocks, glass bottles, tape, CDs, and a host of other objects. It was like the kind of box you would get from a donation center. “What’s all of this?” I asked her.

“I thought that it would be kind of cool to add some sound effects,” she told me. “After working on some of the tracks, I thought about how some sound effects would sound really good on them. It would give each track their own identity and make them feel more exciting.”

I understood what she meant and smiled while nodding my head. “So, what do you wanna do first?” I asked.

She took out a few glass bottles and said, “Let’s start with Track 5.”

For the rest of the session, we just had fun making sound effects for each of the completed tracks. Some of the objects we used straightforwardly, others we experimented with to see what sounds we could get out of them. It was very fun. I’m not lying when I said that I was laughing the entire time with Saiki while we played around to see what we could do. Our laughter rang throughout the studio and we sounded like innocent little kids having fun together. I’ve always had fun with music, but having fun making music is a brand new experience for me, and one that I enjoyed greatly thanks to Haruto Saiki.

With each sound that we made and recorded, we would listen to them to see if they fit the track they were recorded on. I also did my best to help Saiki get out the sound she was hearing in her head but couldn’t produce it quite right on the objects. There was a moment where she had wanted to use the CD to produce a scratch effect similar to ones you here on hip-hop records. Of course we knew that it would be impossible to achieve the exact same tone because the material used to produce it is different, but I understood what she was trying to do and the sound she wanted to achieve.

At first, she tried to scratch it with her nails. She immediately discovered it was a bad idea as she drew back her fingers in what looked like shock. She then tried to rub in on the edges of the table, but the sound was grating and definitely not the one she wanted. I watched her the entire time as she experimented with sound production. There was just something about this sight that appeared amusing to me—not in a mean, bullying way, but in an awed and warm-hearted way. If I had to describe it, it was like watching a kitten discovering what yarn was for the first time in her life.

She apparently noticed me with a smile on my face and frowned. “What’s so funny?” she asked me.

“You look like a kitten like that,” I told her.

“Kitten? How?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“The way you’re working with the CD make you look like a kitten playing with yarn,” I answered back honestly. “It’s very cute.”

Her cheeks immediately turned red. I wasn’t initially aware at all of what I had said and was initially confused by her reaction. “Cute?” she asked me with her eyes looking to her left.

Hearing her said that word made me blush myself. I immediately became aware of what I had said and quickly tried to defend myself. “I-I-I meant that it was like watching a cute kitten and…. It was like a cute video of a little kitten trying to…. C-Cute?” The word was stuck in my mind and was the only thing that came out of my lips. And the more that it escaped from me, the more I saw Saiki turning redder and redder. ‘I’m an idiot!’ I told myself. Having failed to redeem myself, I turned my focus away from her.

“I’m not angry,” she told me in a soft and sweet voice. “It’s just that I’d never thought someone like you could be capable of saying that.”

“S-Saying what?” I asked her, feigning ignorance.

“Cute,” she replied. “It was a little unexpected to hear someone like you call something cute.”

“I-I-I guess so,” I agreed. “But it’s not like I don’t like cute things.” I peeked at her and saw that my statement turned her face more red than a tomato. I didn’t know how she was interpreting that last sentence, but seeing her embarrassed face only made me embarrassed too. “A-Anyway! Let’s listen to some of those tracks again,” I quickly said to change the subject.

“Sure,” she agreed with a shy nod.

I reached for play button and had my hand on it when I suddenly felt the warm touch of flesh next to mine. I immediately drew my hand back and saw Saiki did the same. We looked at each other with bewildered eyes and matching reddened cheeks. “Sorry!” we cried out in unison. The atmosphere quickly became awkward to say the least.

In that moment, the only thing running through my mind was how soft Saiki’s hand was. It was like touching smooth silk of the highest quality! I have never felt something that soft and smooth and comforting before in my entire life. The idea of wanting to hold those hands in mine took shape in my mind. If only just for a moment…. ‘No, no, no!’ my inner voice told me, ‘Stop this right now! This is no time to be thinking these inappropriate thoughts!’ I took a breath and calmed down. “W-Would you like to do the honors?” I asked her with a shaky voice. Saiki responded by pressing the button and we went to work.

The rest of the session was more subdued and not as lively as our previous ones for the most part. It was kind of hard to let the awkwardness to just dissipate in seconds. I mean, how would you feel if you were in my shoes? I’m not the most open and extroverted guy out there. I’m familiar with awkwardness so I took it in stride. It was the only thing I know how to do.

We took a little break and Saiki offered to bring down some drinks and snacks from the bar. After she left the room, I took out my phone and opened up my recording app. I played the riff I had recorded earlier today over and over again in order to get a general idea of how I want to write this song. I was so deep in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realized Saiki was back until she spoke to me: “That’s a pretty cool riff!”

I was surprised by her presence and fell out of my chair. Saiki, probably out of reflex, reached out to grab my hand. Our hands touched and I was able to feel those soft silken hands again. But the momentum of my fall made me hold tightly onto her and pull her in. Next thing I knew, I had my back to the floor and Saiki’s body on top of mine. Our eyes were focused on each other’s and we stayed like this for a few seconds, captivated by what we saw. Our faces were dangerously close to each other and I could feel her breath on my skin. It really felt like time had stopped all around us.

We both immediately came back to reality and said in unplanned unison, “Sorry!” We both scrambled to pick ourselves up when I realized that my right hand was entangled in something warm and soft. Saiki and I both turned in the same direction and noticed our fingers were intertwined together. And just like naïve elementary schoolers, we both quickly let go and drew our hands in.

“Sorry for frightening you,” she told me. Her eyes were focused on the ground the whole time.

“It’s all right,” I reassured her. My eyes were looking to the left.

“A-Anyway, that was a pretty cool riff,” she said, changing the subject to dispel the awkwardness.

“Thanks,” I simply replied. After that, we both became silent. I cleared my throat and said, “It’s for a new video I’m making.”

“Really?!” she excitedly exclaimed. Haruto Saiki had returned back to her normal cheerful self. “I love your original works!”

“Thanks,” I said with a humble chuckle.

Saiki had her finger to her chin and looked like she was deep in thought when she suddenly suggested, “How about you have someone sing on this next one?”

“Sing?” I never had anyone sing on my original works before. But the idea was intriguing. “But I don’t have the whole song down yet,” I told her after some deliberation. “I don’t know how it’s going to go.”

“Then why don’t we work on it together?” she suggested. “It’ll be a great break time activity!”

“Sure, I don’t see anything wrong with that,” I accepted. And so for our break time endeavors, we got together to work on my song. Having Saiki work with me on the melodies and harmonies and ideas really made writing the song quicker and more fun. Her ideas were extraordinary and interesting, and I thoroughly enjoyed them very much. Of course, not everything worked, which was to be expected, but it was nevertheless a very good experience. Now, I had the general idea down, including the song structure, the chord progressions, and the rhythm and tempo. I took to the recording booths and decided to use it to record the song. I easily zipped through the guitar parts and laid down a pretty decent bass line. As for the drums, I programmed them like how I had always done it.

“The song is coming together really well,” I told her.

“Yup, yup!” agreed Saiki with happy nods.

We listened to the instrumental track together with smiles the entire time. I had never before finished a song this quickly in my entire music career. The quickest I had ever composed a song prior to this crowning achievement was four days. To tell you the truth, I’m a perfectionist at heart, so I tend to take my time working everything out right down to the minute detail. But working with Haruto Saiki made me forget all about that and I just had fun doing what I loved. In fact, because I didn’t focus solely on each aspect of it made the whole product even more perfect than I could have ever expected!

“Hey, why don’t you sing on it?” I asked her randomly. The words just came out of my mouth before I even knew what I was asking her to do.

“Really?!” exclaimed Saiki excitedly. She immediately jumped at the idea and took out some of the extra pieces of paper we had lying around and began to write down lyrics. I could tell that she was beyond elated to be asked to do something like this. After a minute or two of pondering, she asked me a question that I myself didn’t know, “What’s the title of the song?”

“I haven’t thought about that yet,” I told her honestly. The riff just came to me naturally by messing around on the guitar instead of being born out of a concrete idea. Typically, whenever I write songs based on these types of riffs, I would typically listen to them continuously until some kind of fitting title appears in my head.

We both thought about it for a moment when Saiki excitedly suggested, “How about ‘Love Shadow’?”

“‘Love Shadow’?” I asked.

“The song is heavy but sensual at the same time,” explained Saiki. “It feels really intimate and sexy, with a kind of primal aggression that gives it a punch in the feels. Kind of like a heavy glam song of the 80’s, or an edgy alternative rock track with post-punk qualities. It’s dark yet enticing. That’s why the name ‘Love Shadow’ came to my mind.”

“I see,” I said with a nod.

Saiki began to write down the lyrics. The speed with which she scribbled them down, as if they were being divinely communicated to her by the Muses, allowed her to finish them in just half-an-hour. All the while, I tried to peek at what she was writing down, but she shielded the paper from my view with her arms. I felt like I was cheating during a test or something. But once she completed it, she quickly rushed into the recording booth and put on the headphones. She gave me the thumbs-up and I played the track while pressing record for her to record her vocals.

I had my headphones on too to listen in on the recording. Once her voice came on, I was immediately smitten. I can never get enough of her wonderful singing voice. It warmed my heart and soothed my soul and filled my mind with rainbows and butterflies! That was how amazing it was! And the vocal melodies that she weaved right on the spot—it was enchanting and awesome and captivated my ears with how catchy and memorable they were. It was a similar feeling that I get from listening to the vocal melodies of Nijigami songs. Then, there were the lyrics. They told a very heartwarming story that had as much darkness as it had hope and love. I could imagine it all playing in my head—this is when you know the lyrics are doing their job. And the way they mesh extremely well with the music was bone chilling. Need proof?—I had goosebumps the entire time.

She was done with the recording, ending her vocal part with a few flourishes which left me in awe. She held up a thumbs up to me to ask if it was good. I responded with a bunch of happy nods—the excitement was literally oozing out of me. We listened to the completed track together before mixing it to create the final polished product. Once we were done, I downloaded the finished song on a drive and tucked it in my pocket.

“That felt really good!” said Saiki, stretching her arms up above her head.

“Do you want to end it here for today?” I asked her.

“Sure,” she agreed.

I left KABANG! that evening with a bunch of emotions swirling inside of me. There was excitement and awe and satisfaction and joy…and a longing. I didn’t know why, but as soon as I exited the building, I took a look at my right hand. As I did, my heart began to beat a little quicker and my cheeks grew hot. I immediately looked away and calmed my heart. Why was I feeling this way? Why was I staring at my own hand? What was this feeling of longing inside of me? Is this what they meant when they say that the years of your adolescence will be the most confusing years of your life?

I promptly left for my home while shaking away those thoughts out of my head. I didn’t need my head to be filled with such frivolous thoughts when I have more important matters to attend to. As I walked home, my legs became shaky the entire time and I would constantly steal glances at my right hand along the way. I was very confused at myself and didn’t understand it at all. No matter what I did to calm my nerves and go about my evening as my natural self, I found myself giving way to the longing feeling inside. But why was this feeling of longing here anyway? What is it that I was longing for? Haruto Saiki’s touch?!…

That tiny thought, that absurd possibility, sent a shock through my body. The soft silken touch of Saiki’s hand returned to my fingers and the image of today’s little incident replayed in my mind. My cheeks turned red and hot. No, no, no, no, no,… This couldn’t be it, right? Like I said, it was an absurd possibility! I was confident at that and nodded my head to myself as a sign of self-affirmation. And then I entered my house and immediately uploaded the completed song as a new video on my ITube channel.