The Little Things She Does

I need to focus on the flyer that I am making for a senior from my high school, but my eyes keep rolling to where Nozomi is. She is sitting on my couch, working on a new design on her tablet. Her hair is up in a bun, and this is the first time I've seen her wearing glasses.

The way she looks at her tablet with a serious expression—I kind of find it attractive. She is beautiful as always. However, that’s not the reason why I have been checking up on her. I am searching for any sign of boredom or dismay, but she looks too absorbed and serious at the moment.

It’s a Sunday, and it’s her day off today, but we are here in my apartment instead of going out on a date. I told her yesterday about the project, but she still showed up in my apartment at noon with her sheep plushie and bento boxes, saying that she would just work on her design or watch TV while I worked. After we ate, I went back to work, and I thought she’d eventually come up to me and tell me to go on a break for a moment and go out, but she hasn’t said a thing.

Her focus is amazing.

As if she hears the voice in my head, she removes her earphones and glasses, then turns to me. Our eyes meet, and we stare at each other for a moment.

“Do you need anything?” she asks.

"No. I’m just thinking.

The way she seems to read my mind is also amazing.

"Are you done?” she asks again, but this time she abandons her tablet on the top of the coffee table in front of the couch and walks towards me.

I turn my chair to face my computer and say, “I’m far from being done, so you can go home when you start getting bored.

“If I go home, I’ll just lie down and do nothing, so it’s better if I stay here. At least I can focus on my work.

She stands close behind him and drapes her arms over my shoulders. Then she rests her chin on top of my head. I let her warmth embrace me as she laced her fingers together, locking me in her arms.

"You’re really good at making designs. I wish I could make something as good as that."

I can’t see her face, but I can tell that she’s pouting.

"You can if you want to. By the way, you’re kind of clingy. I’ve just realized it.

“You don’t like it?”

She is about to take her arms off me, but I hold her wrists to stop her.

“It’s not a problem. I actually like it when you’re close to me.”

It’s reassuring, calming, and peaceful. Whenever she’s close to me, I can stop thinking about the past and stop fearing the future. It sounds cliché, but time stops when I’m with her.

“You’re such a show-off sometimes. Sweet talking and everything."

I can feel her forehead on my head. I might have caught her off-guard again.

“Can I stay overnight?” she says in a low voice.

“You’ve been asking me that ever since I collapsed. I told you I’m fine now.”

“Pleassse?”

She has been asking me to let her stay in my apartment, but this is the first time she said please in such a cute childlike way—elongating that S sound and saying it like a song. I think I found my weakness. I’ve always thought that I prefer mature, older women, but Nozomi's acting a bit childish hits a different spot in my heart. It’s genuinely cute. I can’t even explain it properly.

“Alright.”

I gave in quite quickly. Damn it!

“Really?” she says in a high pitch.

"You don’t have spare clothes or a toothbrush, though. 

She hugs me and says, “I’ll buy my stuff later. Thank you. I’m glad I brought Shori with me.” “Shori? 

Wait, are you referring to the sheep? You’ve been planning to stay overnight?”

“Busted!” She takes her arms around me and moves back. “I’ll go out for a bit.”

Before I could say anything, she swiftly took her bag and ran to the door.

Her determination to get what she wants is also amazing.

However, I know it’s not an act of being a brat or being stubborn. Even if she’s not saying it, I can tell that she’s still worried about me. Even though a week has already passed, I know she is still worried about my condition. 

She worries too much sometimes.

It makes me wonder why. She always looks cheerful and positive, but once she starts thinking negatively, it goes from zero to 100 like a bullet train. We haven’t talked about our personal lives except for what happened in our past relationships. I thought it was too early for a serious talk. Also, if I asked her about her personal life, I would have to tell her mine. I still need to process that. 

She comes back an hour and a half later with spare clothes and other things. She also bought some food. I continue to work, and she seems to have gotten tired of working on her design, so she asks if she can turn on the TV. I give her permission, and she put it at a low volume. Then, I put on my earphones.

Focusing is never a problem for me, especially when it comes to work. In fact, sometimes I get so focused on work that I forget about everything. However, at some point, I feel something that makes me stop for a moment. It’s a strange feeling, but I feel like someone has been staring at me, like Nozomi has been staring at me. I’m not sure, and I don’t want to fully turn my head toward her. I roll my eyes to the side instead, and she’s indeed staring at me. 

She’s finally getting bored, isn’t she?

"Nozomu.” 

That is the only time I turn to her, expecting her to stop me from working and do something else with her. However — 

“Your phone has been vibrating like crazy.” She points at my phone on the coffee table in front of her.

I get up to check, and it’s flooded with message notifications. I open my Line account and sit down beside Nozomi. She’s leaning on the side of the couch while hugging the sheep plushie—I guess I have to get used to calling it Shori. 

After a few scrolls, I realize that Nozomi has rested her head on my shoulder. Still hugging her sheep, of course. She really is adorably clingy. 

“My friends invited me to go to the beach. Do you want to come with me?” I ask while scrolling down on more messages. 

“Is it okay? Isn’t it a boys’ hangout?” she responds, her eyes still focused on the television. 

“Sho will bring his girlfriend, so it should be fine. Ryu will be there too. Do you still remember him? 

She slightly lifts her head to look at me with a bright expression. Suddenly, she looks interested in going. Somehow, I’m not fond of her reaction. 

“Really? I’ll go then. I’ve been thinking of asking for his contact information. I haven’t paid him for the dessert that he bought for me.” 

“Really?” I ask, like I’m not interested in hearing more from her.

"He was also nice to me. I definitely want to be friends with him. I say nothing. 

Damn it! I think I’m getting jealous of Ryu.

I’m not happy to admit it, but here I am, looking at her eyes full of excitement over seeing Ryu. I know she just wants to make friends. That is all there is, but I wish she looked at me with that same excitement when I invited her. It would be our first trip together, even if we were just going to the beach. 

Maybe she’s just not excited to be with me.

I know that’s not true. I don’t even like going out and traveling for hours, but I want to go with her. I really do. 

“Nozomu!” I get startled and swiftly turn to her. 

“What?” 

She sandwiched my face with her palms and squinted, as if searching for something on my face. After a moment, she wraps her arms around me. I have no idea what is happening. 

“What are you doing?” I ask, somewhat panicking. 

“Jealousy is not a good thing. We need to fix that right away,” she says, hugging me tightly. 

“What are you talking about?” I can’t admit it, can I? 

"Come on. You can’t lie to me. I can feel it. 

“How can you tell?” She looks at me, her hands still resting on my shoulder. 

"I observe. You know, you have a default serious face, but a moment ago you had a seriously serious face. That’s how I know. 

“A seriously serious face? What does that mean? 

“It’s difficult to explain. Anyway, stop sulking.” 

“I’m not sulking. You didn’t seem excited when I asked you to go with me, but you seemed happy when I mentioned Ryu.” 

I definitely sound immature. I hate it. 

“Oh, I guess that’s my fault. I’m sorry. I wasn’t excited at first because I very rarely go to the beach. I’m scared of large bodies of water and I can't swim. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to go with you. It’s not like we’re going with just the two of us. That’s why I can’t get fully excited. About Ryu, I just want to repay him. That’s all. There’s nothing to worry about it.” 

I sigh. I know I’m in the wrong here, but she explains her side when it’s not even necessary. 

“Okay. I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I don’t usually act this way.” 

She smiles, then gives me a quick kiss on the lips. 

“Your jealous face looks cute, by the way,” she teases. 

It’s embarrassing, so I get off the couch to go back to work. She simply giggles when I turn my back. She sees right through me, and I don’t know how. 

I love that about her, though. 

I halt and turn to her again. 

"Do you want to watch while I’m working?” 

She gives me a perplexed look. 

“Is that okay? Wouldn’t you get distracted? 

“You want to learn how to make the design that I’m doing, right? I’ll teach you how to do it. Learning how to use the software is crucial to making designs. I’ll teach you the basics. 

Her smile brightens, and then she stands up, bringing her plushie with her. 

Not falling for someone like her is difficult... No, actually it's impossible not to fall for her.