43.ii A Diamond Body

“The anticipation is killing me, Chow. How long do we have to wait for these tests to be over? I mean, is it really necessary for us to have them in the first place?”

“Absolutely, Dan. The Sevenfold Peach is taking their new ban on holy peaches very seriously this year. Since every contender was notified the day before, they’ve had plenty of time to purge whatever sweet immortal peaches they’d eaten from their systems.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know if this will make things more fun and interesting or if it will have the opposite effect. If I had the choice, I’d rather see as many juiced up contenders clawing for the number one spot as possible. It can be hard to keep up with the excitement, but it makes for an exhilarating cast!”

“Absolutely. Dan, how about we take this moment to enlighten our audience about the monkey king’s quarterstaff seeing as how it serves as the axis for this competition.”

“Ah yes! The quarterstaff — a versatile and flexible tool. There was a time when you wouldn’t see a monkey spirit without one.”

“Times change.”

“That they do, Chow. By the way, can you humor me for a moment and explain to our audience why it appears that some of our contestants aren’t even carrying a staff?”

“Absolutely, Dan. I’d be happy to. One of the flexible aspects of monkey quarterstaves is the manipulation of their size and shape to meet the demands of the wielder. So naturally, some Suns elect to shrink their weapons and keep them out of sight until the time comes to use them.”

“Wow. Incredible. You know so much! Chow, can I just say that you have always been my idol. You probably get this all the time, but I have always looked up to you.”

“But Dan, we’re the same age.”

“Even so, I am so thrilled to be casting with you! There are many exciting things to cover in this tournament. Oh! Speaking of excitement, it looks like all the tests are done and the judges are about to announce the first trial!”

“Oh, they certainly are. Laozhi, the eldest judge with us today, is on his feet and addressing the contestants. Looks like the first trial is going to be…”

“Oh! Oh! It’s — ohhh. It’s going to be that? That’s certainly unfortunate for our contestants.”

“Absolutely, Dan.”