Mai Ohara Is A Pastel Goth

Tuesday morning. The sounds of the chirping viciously molest my ears. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch… in fact, I withdraw that thought. Perhaps, it’s a tad too grotesque a thought but certainly I wasn’t wrong with the sentiment. I awoke to the neutral tones of white. It was slightly overcast. Great. What a terrible backdrop plus it was a horrific start to my day. I dropped my phone abruptly as I tried to answer a notification. It slipped towards the floor. Oh dear. I hope there’s no scratch. I laid on my bed motionless and still fatigued even though I had just slept. Nothing is working. My legs refuse to work, a striker refusing to enter the shaft. Head dazed, thoughts as clear as the abstract idea of opaque. In concrete terms… yeah I didn’t have a clear mind. Whatever it is, I need to gain at least one point of inspiration and move my body. That’s my only aim so far. One step at a time. I can claim my phone once I complete my mission. Mom, dad, and my MIA onee-san in college - please give me all your strength!

I don’t think they gave me any strength. Welp. Such is the effectiveness of praying. It would be nice to have at least one kami-sama looking over me. Just like those mangas you see at the convenience store.

Before I tell you what I do or what happened next, I’d like to add a slight detour. Just a small one. They say you can guess someone’s personality by the type of media they consume the most. Wrong. So wrong. Completely wrong. The absolute opposite of validity. A demonic lie. I don’t know how I can put it into your heads that I think this is just absolutely a negative truth. Take a good guess at the media I consume. You can rank it on a list of top 5, sorted by prevalence in my room or possession. Go ahead. In this list, by the way, please include the genres. For example, let’s say number one would be American animated comedy sitcoms. Also - I’m including music too.

Have you given it a thought? If I’m being honest, I do consume media that, one might possibly say, is stereotypical for a self-identifying loner - but I guarantee you I have at least one thing that might shock you. Probably not actually, I’m a terrible judge on people’s emotions or predicting what they’re going to do.

Rankings:

1. K-Pop boy bands. (I will not discuss further. I will say I own merch from EXO. No further questions.)

2. Romcom mangas. (Yeah. This is the most stereotypical one.)

3. Non-fiction documentaries. (To be clear, I don’t like true crime ones. I personally think, no matter how far away or long ago it was committed, I think it’s wrong to be dramatising them.)

4. Youtube videos about farming. (I could binge this for years, killing any chance at a working career. It’s not good for my education.)

5. Wuxias (A bad Wuxia could still turn a pacifist into a martial artist overnight. I’ve seen it. It happened to me.)

Now that I’ve said it in my head… a lot of what I like may actually be a reflection of my personality. I’ll just spare the embarrassment and tell you why I said it. Because in front of me was my older sister. I haven’t seen her in a year. Only calls. She just invaded my room for no reason. I say no reason, but I know she wants to see me.

“Hi. Honzo-kun. How’s my unsociable, but actually sociable, little brother doing?”

“Hey nee. It’s been a while, no?”

She gave a weary smile.

“Sure it has. Why have you dodged my calls?”

There I was. I swallowed whatever was in my mouth. It feels heavy.

“I don’t know Yumi-nee.”

“Can you explain the… EXO poster in your room?”

Actually, Yumi-nee - I can. Firstly, I need to explain that I got into K-Pop boy bands because of Nishi-chan. Yes. Totally didn’t get carried away and independently found EXO and stanned them on the side. It’s not a big secret. I’ll own up to it anyways. I was going to throw away the poster too. For certain.

I stutteringly tried to retort my snarky sister.

“Umm… it’s, well… It's Erina’s! Yes.”

Her smile transformed into an even more startling shape. The angles all contorted. I know she’s going to tease me for this.

“Erina only likes BTS. Aren’t you like borderline siblings? Maybe even as close as we are. I’m saddened on her behalf that you don’t know that.”

Yumi’s right on this one I suppose.

“Alright then nee-chan. I like EXO. I’m going to move on from them anyways. Just one of those things I’m interested in, at the moment. I’m being serious, remove that smirk please! It makes me feel like a weirdo!” I looked at my seemingly normal nee-chan.

Although she goes to an elite university in Tokyo, the only reason I suspect she got in was because she has an insane workrate. This is the first time I’ve been impressed by her shrewdness. She wasn’t even particularly sharp-witted this time. It’s likely also probably due to the shock that I haven’t seen my sister in a year. That fact alone? It makes me feel like a terrible sibling. She gives me leeway for it due to my issues, but I 100% feel guilty about it. Likewise with my other family. One day I’ll make it up to them.

“Touching reunion. But you do have school today so you should get ready. I’ll see you later this afternoon. I'm here for a whole week, just so you’re aware.”

At least I got to see my sister before I leave. She should probably focus on her final project in chemistry or whatever course she’s at. I lied. I do know which course she’s doing. It’s a MSc in Organic Chemistry. I hope I'm right.

“Honzo-kun, mom and dad will be back from work by the afternoon, make sure you’re home by then.”

“Sure,thing Nee-chan.”

Well, that was strange. The whole interaction feels the same even though I haven’t physically seen her in a year. Then again, she does call once every few weeks. Except when I haven’t replied to her attempts to call since late January. It’s time to head out for school.

~~~

On the way to school, I bumped into Mai Ohara. She was another neighbour and a classmate of mine. Surprisingly, I went and tried to talk to her. Although, the both of us rarely talk in school, I used to be really close to her in middle school. Then I converted to the bum who hates talking and we drifted in mere weeks. You think I’m trying to cope that I’m actually not introverted but very anxious? I’ll insert a pessimistic antisocial idea to prove that I hate socializing and always have! Actually, scratch that. It is far too early to be dramatic. I’m still fatigued and it’s like 8:20 AM.

She noticed me. Come to think of it, she’s only recently changed her style. Mai used to be the ‘girl next door’ type. Wait. She actually is my neighbour so that type is still true in a technical sense. Whatever. Have you heard of pastel goths? It’s some kind of aesthetic. A mixture between pastel colours and well… goths. Self-explanatory really. Regardless, Mai fitted the style well. She oozed cuteness from every angle, and yet I also could feel the horror aura surrounding her. It was… intense. Her purple dyed hair was also very unique. With the lightness being varied on the tips of hair strands. Never had I ever felt terror and simultaneously arousal. Yeah. I think I likely need mental health services to fix my honestly misogynistic views. It’s problematic but I think almost every girl I see elicits some sort of comment from me on them.

But wait! There’s more. Mai was a skinny girl, but her figure was curvy. I do mean that. In fact, the more I analyze the more I can see myself objectifying her. That’s how notable it was. I’d rather not fall into that pitfall, lest I end up as an actual hikikomori who relies on his sister to give him money. No relation to my situation whatsoever. Let’s just stop now.

“Hi Honzo. How you up to?”

I gulped.

“Well Mai, same old. You know my onee-san just came down, back from uni to visit.”

Mai gave a small smile.

“That sounds nice. I was going to ask how’s Yumi-nee too. You going to the convenience store?”

She pointed at the konbini across the road. I assume she was giving me an opportunity to leave. Fair enough Mai. I’ll take it.

“Actually, yeah Mai. I’m just going to buy my bento, plus a nice croissant for lunch.”

“Sounds nice, I’ll join you then.”

Wait. That was unexpected. I thought you wanted to say that so I could leave you alone. Huh. Wow.

“That would be cool then.”

She just blushed! What. I just saw a slight tinge of a rose on her face. I’m not making this up. Hold on, now I’m starting to feel some warmth myself. Yeah… there’s no way I’m blushing about Mai Ohara. No chance. The girl who told me that I’m not ready for high school because my brain is made of mush. Why am I even thinking of that memory? Must’ve held a subconscious grudge. The warmth is even spreading!

“It’s kind of cold, no? My face suddenly warmed up, what about you Mai?”

“Yeah. It is a bit nippy for an April morning.”

Nippy. Don’t say it. Don’t think it.

“Let’s just head inside shall we!”

Agreed Mai.

There was an adjacent zebra crossing. We used that to get across this insanely wide road. Crossing it was like playing frogger or chicken run. You must have a death wish wanting to walk it outside the crossing. It was a two-lane thoroughfare that trucks regularly took. Mai gave me a look; I assume she was waiting for me to charge first. Maybe as a sacrifice? Whatever. It was time to take initiative.

We made it. You may have thought I skipped the actual crossing, but I didn’t do that on purpose. My mind went blank. Suddenly, a great eureka moment occurred. I think this is why Mai asked me if I was going to the convenience store! Perhaps that’s it! Fair play, Mai was pretty cunning. Both of us gave a glance and we entered together into the store in sync. Seriously. Left arm and right leg corresponding with one another. Army soldiers. We attacked our respective aisles. Ready for combat. The enemy operative was spotted. Store made bento purchased. Mai thankfully got the croissant for me alongside her 6 mochi pack.

That was all fun until you realize we had to cross the same division of death… also known as Aichi Prefectural Road Route 29. Doesn’t sound as scary as the ‘division of death’ and also, I’ve crossed it every day for a year and a bit. Maybe I'm exaggerating? Never have I ever exaggerated in my life! I have also never lied.

Continuing off, we walked in silence. It was awkward but there were a few times where we exchanged words. Normal pleasantries. Nothing could change my attitude towards socializing. It’s inane. Unneeded. What could I really talk to Mai about? Past 10-minute me was a fool. But, current me is also a fool, because we also could talk about class. Alas, it’s too radical an action for me to speak about gossip in class. I’m honestly above that. I think.

We stood before the gates of our school. It’s more like a fortress with a nice glass office within the complex. Both I and Mai just froze there. What we witnessed was beyond our comprehension. Imagine the positions of trillions of trillions of atoms that were composed to form this exact scene. All the positions of the past lead to this moment. Mai had an emotionless face, but her eyes said everything. It was Saeka kissing Tatsuya on the cheek. I don’t think they noticed us. The both of us took a side route away towards our lesson in history. This is a notable episode in Japanese history. It’s possible that we might even learn that lesson. I could even envision the title of the lesson.

Sadayuki x Tachihara.

Guess it’s confirmed?

“Did you see that, Mai?”

“Yes, I did, Honzo.”

My intuition told me that she was eager to say something about what she saw. Clearly, she didn’t, because she and I just walked towards our classroom. It was a loud mess; you could hear it before you even saw it. Our class was always rowdy. I feel for people like Mai, Shibuya, and well… myself. From a visual perspective, you might think Tatsuya is also like that with his pitch-black scruffy hair and glasses, and that Yusuke is the more outgoing and very sociable personality with his blonde hair and athletic build. But he’s not. Yusuke is honestly even more of a true loner than me. He was always with me, and I was always with him. Whilst he doesn’t speak much, I really do treasure his appearances. As said earlier, me and him are good friends dating back to middle school alongside Kenji. All three of us played a lot of games and I do value those memories.

But back to the present.

Mai just shrugged her shoulders. She whispered to me “How can you tolerate this? I thought you were about quietness?”. Sadly, I agreed with her. I’m a walking contradiction. I talk about hating socialising, I moan to such an incredible frequency that it must equal the combinations that a chess game could have. I claim to suffer from social refusal, where I hate talking to people, yet I went up to Mai in the first place. Pretty self-centred too, go and count how many times I used a first-person pronoun. A lot.

To be fair, that’s just cherry picking on my end. You can’t avoid talking about yourself. I also probably had to respond to her instead of just thinking this out of respect.

“Well Mai, let’s just say that everyone will grow up one day. I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t mind it. But this is, I guess, what it is to be 16. Some of us develop mentally earlier than others.”

I could feel her glaring eyes. That stare could stab me in the face. My poor beautiful face!

“Yeah… you hate it don’t you Honzo. Whatever, I’m going to hang out with Shibuya by her table before sensei comes. Enjoy your bento and croissant.”

Her death-frighteningly glare suddenly became a loose look and she gave a happy grin as she waved me off. See you whenever Mai - although I will be technically seeing you the entire day since we have the same lessons today.

Then, I saw a man, not much older than us by a few years, briskly walk towards the front. It was our history teacher. He was pretty young, fresh from university. Guess it’s time to learn some random kingdoms whose effects on my life are nothing more significant than one single part of a series of domino effects. As for me? I think I’m just going to continue my normal routine.

And then, by the corner of my eye I see Minoru-san come up to me. That’s pretty rare.

“Do you want to talk at lunch?”

That’s pretty direct. Looking around, I don’t think anyone noticed other than Saeka and Tatsuya, the couple-that-isn’t-a-couple. Isn’t this going quickly? I thought it was going to be Friday?

Hastily, I responded. I said yes.

“See you then, Fukaze-san.”

“You too, Minoru-san.”

There goes any chance of it being a peaceful day.