A small-time streamer

My name is Mukuro Kuroyami. I am 23 years old and am currently a neet. I graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in liberal arts, though my job search has been miserable. Due to my social anxiety, I’ve had trouble finding a career, and have already been fired from a few jobs due to my poor social skills. I have no friends and my family, and I are distant. I’m basically alone in the world.

I laid down on my futon and stared up at the ceiling of my room.

“If only I had better social skills. If only I had friends. If only I had some reason to truly want to live. Then maybe I’d be living a happier life,” I thought aloud.

I decided to pull out my phone and see if there were any interesting videos to watch. One thing that caught my eye was a video titled: “Cute girl eats bowl of wasabi”. The girl on the title card had multi-colored hair, sharp teeth, and large breasts. There were only 10 views despite being uploaded a month ago. I clicked on the video out of curiosity.

“Yo! It’s your girl Leona here! Today, I’m gonna eat an entire ramen bowl filled to the top with spicy wasabi! All I gotta do is chug it all down without throwing up.”

I watched as the girl began slurping up wasabi from a bowl filled with it. She’d constantly cry and gag. However, she finished the entire bowl without throwing up.

“How do you like that! If you’re impressed, like and subscribe. I’ll also be playing some E-Fortress tomorrow night so feel free to join me,” she queasily said.

After the video ended, I scrolled down to the comments section. Seeing none, I then checked out her channel. She was known as Leona and had been uploading videos for a year. She only had 2 subscribers and was barely getting any views on her videos. Despite that, I decided to watch some of her videos. Her editing was rookie level at best, though her energetic personality kept me watching. Her gaming videos were especially entertaining, as I found myself laughing out loud to some of her reactions.

“She’s got so much energy. If more people knew about her, I’m sure she’d do well enough to at least make a living off this,” I said out loud.

Truth be told, I was impressed she stuck with this despite her paltry view counts. Back in high school, I had been on the swim team, but was nothing special. I enjoyed the sport but would finish in the middle of the pack on average. If I didn’t fail to make the swim team at my college, maybe I would have continued swimming. But if I couldn’t make a career out of swimming, my parents wouldn’t support me.

I wondered what it was like for Leona. Was she truly continuing her passion despite not making it big? Was she doing this simply out of bravery or desperation? Or was she already set for life and just doing this for fun. After subscribing, I noticed she was live.

“Maybe she’ll answer my question if I ask,” I thought.

Leona had just logged into E-Fortress when I joined the stream. The view count listed me as the only viewer.

“Yo! Looks like we’ve got some people watching, so I’ll do the intro. It’s your girl Leona here ready to stream some E-Fortress. I hear they just dropped a new update. Feel free to join my room.”

Compared to her older videos, she looked and sounded a little less cheery. I guess reality was sadly catching up to her. I decided to ask my question anyway.

“YO! We got a comment from Crowboy50! It reads, “Why do you make videos?” Because I like doing it. It’s the only thing I know how to do. I’m dumb as a brick, but at least I look cute. I mean, I can play games and I’m entertaining right?”

Her cheery demeanor was slowly vanishing.

“I do dares that no other girl would do. I mean, is your girlfriend willing to drench herself in ramen without giving a damn what the world thinks? Haha? Who cares if your parents hate you and call you a disgrace. Who cares if you aren’t making a living. I love making videos and sharing my energy with the world.”

Tears were beginning to form in her eyes.

“Sorry, but I don’t think I can play tonight. Maybe tomorrow, bye!”

She abruptly ended the stream. Now I felt awful. I had unknowingly touched a sore spot for her. My thoughts were interrupted by my mother demanding I buy some groceries for dinner.

                                                                               ...

As I walked to the store, I noticed a girl crying. She was sitting on the swing set at the park nearby. Based on her figure, I assumed she was a high schooler, though I couldn’t see her face due to her hood being up. I decided to leave her be.

“Its best if I don’t get involved, who knows if she’ll just scream if I try to approach her.” I thought.

Sadly, I was speaking from experience. During high school, I had once tried to help a girl after she looked distraught and suicidal, only for her to scream and claim I was trying to assault her. The police got involved, and after a lengthy deliberation at the police station, my innocence was proven, though the girl never apologized to me. Apparently, she was in a bad mood because she got dumped, at least according to the officer. Since then, I’ve never bothered helping anyone. My social skills also took a massive hit because of the incident.

After getting the groceries, I walked back and noticed the girl was still there. This time she was standing on the swing and swinging. As she leapt off the swing, her hood went down, and her multicolored hair flowed freely as she soared through the air. I jumped as she landed a few feet away from me. It was Leona the streamer.

“**** YOU Crowboy50!” She happily stated as she posed while doing a middle finger salute in my direction.

I recoiled in shock as she opened her eyes and began panicking.

“AHHH! I DIDN’T KNOW SOMEONE WAS THERE! I’M SORRY I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! PLEASE DON’T REPORT ME!”

She had shrieked away and was cowering under her hoodie.

“You’re Leona. Leona the streamer, right?” I asked.

Her demeanor changed as she came closer to me.

“Wait!? You know who I am? Are you one of my subscribers?”

“No, I’m Crowboy, s... sorry for upsetting you,” I stuttered.

I then attempted to walk away; however, Leona grabbed my arm.

“Hold up! You’re telling me you’re the asshole that left that mean comment?”

“I was just curious why you stream despite not gaining any traction, I didn’t know it would hurt you so much.”

Leona skeptically glared at me.

“You’re scrawny and dress like you’re a neet or something. How do I know you aren’t just some flamer trying to cause drama?”

I pulled off my mask and bowed in apology.

“I’m sorry! I guess I was just hoping your answer would provide me some courage and inspiration to help me succeed in life.”

I then felt her hands on my shoulders as she forced me up to look at her face to face.

“You wanted inspiration from ME!?”

“Y- Yeah, I’m just a failure with lousy social skills. When I saw that you had been uploading videos for a year despite not generating enough views to make a living off it, I wanted to know why you stuck with it, and was hoping your answer would help pick me up off my feet.”

I had laid my intentions bare. To my surprise, she smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

“Thanks for being my first supporter,” she said as she began trotting away.

“Wah What!? What was that for!? I… Is that OK!? I… I…”

“Hahaha! Looks like you’ve never been kissed before. I’m an adult, so no need to worry about anything.”

“Y- You’re REALLY an adult? I’m 23 you know,” I wearily stated.

“23! I thought you were 19! Well, I am 18 so no need to worry about getting into an affair with a minor.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Though you really are my first true supporter, those two subscribers I have are just my alt accounts,” she stated.

“Leona, do you really enjoy making content?” I asked.

“Yeah, I know I got a little sobby back then, but I was spitting facts. It motivates me, and it’s about the only thing I’m good at.”

It was then that a surge of motivation spread throughout my body.

“Leona! Would you let me partner with you to help you gain views?” I asked.

Her jaw dropped as she stood in silence. What would she say?