Ball

I walked through the great hall, now made nearly unrecognizable by the decorations and guests. On every side were people. The crowd, some standing and others sitting at tables, was evenly split between humans and dogmen, but both groups felt fundamentally the same: well-dressed people who all oozed that self-satisfied aura of the wealthy and powerful. In a corner, two dogwomen and a human woman were singing/howling an upbeat song accompanied by stringed instruments that looked similar but not identical to guitars. A few couples were dancing near them.

Most heads turned to look as I strode down the center row toward the high table, where sat the king, Arnya, a dogman I recognized as the king’s general, and a few other unfamiliar faces. There was a spot near the table where the lights shone the brightest, which would put the table on my left and the bulk of the guests to my front and right. When I reached it, I gave the royal pair an elaborate bow and turned to the audience.

The king spoke in a booming voice that commanded the room. “Lords and ladies, may I present to you, the guest of honor at my granddaughter’s birthday: Court Alchemist Rei, of the Kingdom. He would like to give a short speech in honor of the occasion.” All eyes turned to me in anticipation.

This had all been rehearsed, of course. Considering the political implications of this event, every part of this night was carefully planned out, all the way down to the way my hair was to be styled. For the rest of the night after this speech, I was supposed to mingle with the guests, appearing friendly without being affectionate and not saying anything too important or memorable. But the speech was the most important part. It was fully written by the king’s advisors to portray exactly the right impression.

“Lords and ladies, I thank you for your attendance,” I began. I had memorized the whole thing so well that I didn’t even need to think about what I was saying; it was fully muscle memory. “I am honored to have made the acquaintance of Princess Arnya in my time here. The throne was too kind in offering to take in myself and my younger cousin after the tragic killing of his family...”

Things were going well. The speech was crafted to show how strong the current regime was now that the king had access to a genius alchemist, imply that the Witch Hunters were going too far and possessed too much political authority, and that it would be foolish for any lords to support them.

“...and the alchemic breakthroughs I and my apprentice have made will serve to better the lives of all in this kingdom, just as Princess Arnya deeply desires” I concluded. While my mind was wandering, I had finished my rote address. All that was left was to bow to Arnya and take the empty seat next to the king. But when I turned to the princess, our eyes met for a moment.

That gaze contained the icy contempt she had shown me ever since the incident with the alchemy book, but beneath it was an emotion I could only call disappointment. It seemed to say ‘are all these nice things you just said about me as false as everything else?’ It sent an icy lance through my heart. She didn’t break off the gaze, and I couldn’t force myself to. The pain in her eyes hurt me to the core, and yet I wanted to keep staring into them forever.

“Alchemist?” said the king quietly, breaking the moment. I had stared at her for several seconds. I clumsily finished the bow. Now, I was supposed to sit down, but suddenly it felt like I had more to say.

“Um,” I said to the still-attentive crowd, going completely off script. “I was, er, going to end there, but, well, I thought, I guess, I still had more to say...I think.” I was sweating, the gaze of everyone in the room penetrating me. I took a deep breath. “I want to say, sincerely, that Princess Arnya is what made my time at the castle bearable; no, enjoyable. I was lonely and confused when I got here, but she has gone out of her way to befriend me when she had no reason to. We’ve had our disagreements, but I can’t blame her for any of them. So...thank you for everything, Arnya. Princess.”

My face burning, I scrambled to my seat. I’ve heard of the phrase “wishing you were dead,” but that wasn’t nearly strong enough. Fortunately, food was served immediately after, and I could busy myself with the meal as I waited (in vain) for my embarrassment to go away. As we ate, I peeked a few glances at Arnya, but the whole time she was engaged in animated conversation with the figure on her other side, a tall, handsome human man with golden hair and eyes.

While I was distracted, the king nudged me, startling me. “I’m so sorry about messing it up!” I squeaked.

“It’s all right, my boy. That added a little...authenticity! But you do remember the second part of the night, right...”

The last thing I felt like doing was mingling with condescending strangers who had watched me make a fool of myself. I had to remind myself that I was doing this for Kyn to get out of the chair and begin mixing.

I was introduced to a whirl of faces and names I had no chance of remembering. Everyone came with a smile, but behind every eye was a glint of steel. They knew this party was a political event just as much as I did. Thanks to the endless coaching of the butler in the past week, I was pretty sure I didn’t disclose any state secrets, but even innocuous comments felt dangerous.

As I turned around to escape yet another dogwoman lady who I could not understand, I bumped into another person. “Sorry” I muttered. I turned to look at him. To my surprise, it was the golden-haired man who had been at the table. A moment later, I realized he was in conversation with Arnya. He was gesturing like he had just made a joke and she had her hand over her mouth, not quite concealing a wide smile. She froze when she saw me.

“Ah, Court Alchemist! I’ve been wishing to meet you,” the man with golden hair said. I looked at him, and for the first time noticed how handsome he was. He was perhaps a year or two older than me, with twinkling eyes and the trim body of an athlete. “I am Sir Gwyn Farsight.” He gave a bow. “Knight of the Realm.”

“Rei. Court Alchemist,” I replied sullenly.

“I’m sure you’re tired of nobles, eh? Tell the truth, I have never really enjoyed these things either. I’d rather be outdoors, riding a horse, swinging a sword, or composing a song.” He smiled. Every tooth was dazzling.

This guy was too much. I turned to speak with Arnya, but she had vanished. I had no choice but to return to the golden boy. “So...you know Princess Arnya?”

“Oh, yes,” he said with a smile. “We have been friends since childhood. When her father sat on the Council of Lords, she lived outside the castle. His realm and my father’s were close associates, so we often played with each other when the adults had business to attend to together.”

“Mm,” I grunted noncommittally.

“Indeed, at one point we were promised to be married.”

Why was I not surprised.

He continued “a means to strengthen the alliance, you see. But then her father left our little kingdom do join the elves, and my father’s household...well, to put it bluntly, fell into disrepair. So, I joined the Knights, ruining any of my political use to my father, and there I’ve been ever since.”

“What a funny coincidence,” I said sullenly. “I, too, was engaged to her at one point.”

“Yes, I heard about that!” His cheerful expression suddenly grew grave. “Alchemist, I care deeply about the Princess, so I must ask. Why did you break off your engagement?”

I sighed, staring into the drink in my hand. “Her being forced into marriage as a prize or whatever for me didn’t sit right. She should have the right to marry the one she wants. Just like everyone else. Being a princess doesn’t change that. So I let her follow her heart. Really, it’s not that complicated.”

I looked up to see the prince beaming with genuine, unvarnished joy. “It’s a rare man who is willing to throw away such an easy path to power.” As I searched for a reply, he clapped me on the shoulder. “And a rarer one still who will let the one he loves slip away so easily.”

I sputtered. “What...who said anything about love? It’s not like, I mean-”

He clapped me on the shoulders again. It hurt; this guy was strong. “I heard your speech up there! Everyone in the audience could tell.” In response to my sputtering, he smiled wider. “No need to hide it. It’s perfectly understandable. Why, in my younger days, I too was taken in by that young woman of grace, power, kindness, beauty...” he gazed into middle space wistfully. I wasn’t sure what to say, so we stood in silence for a moment.

It was broken by the arrival of a petite brown-haired woman. Gwyn said “ah, Alchemist, I’d like you to meet Carina. My wife.” The two shared a quick kiss.

“Wife,” I said weakly. The word somehow filled me with relief. “I see.”

Carina gently punched him. “Dear, you should have told him you were happily married at the start of the conversation.”

“Why?”

She shook her head and looked at me. “He’s hopeless, you know.”

Clearing his throat, Gwyn continued “regardless, Alchemist, ignoring your heart will only cause pain. I can tell you from experience.” He squeezed his wife’s hand. “It took me three years to propose. Three years that I could have been the happiest man alive.”

“Well, it’s sort of awkward, what with how happy she was to break up...” I mumbled.

Gwyn said “you said yourself you were freeing her. Now let her use that freedom. She can decide for herself if she wants you.”

“We’re kind of in the middle of a fight right now,” I admitted.

Carina spoke up, resting her head on Gwyn’s shoulder. “Who’s in the wrong?”

Gwyn added “I know Arnya. If it is her, tell her. She’ll already know it and that’ll bring her to her senses.”

“And if it’s you,” Carina said, “what are you waiting for? Apologize.” Gwyn nodded in agreement and pointed to the head table, where Arnya had retaken her seat.

They were right. Of course, they were very right. “If you’ll excuse me, Sir Gwyn, Lady Carina, I believe I owe someone an apology.” Not waiting for their response, I strode toward Arnya.