Promise

"I think that, for some reason, Mayumi is standing there waiting for you."

I immediately stopped in place.

"What do you mean?"

"She was standing at the gate since we all left. The way I see it, she's waiting for someone and I don't think that 'someone' is coming from outside the school."

Many alternatives ran through my mind. Was Lukas joking? Was his perception wrong? Couldn't she be expecting someone else? Was Mayumi really waiting for me?

"Hey, are you still there?" asked Lukas, not understanding where the silence was coming from.

"Y-yes, yes."

"Well, good luck."

I didn't know what to do, just the hypothetical situation in my head was already making the anxiety that slightly slept inside wake up.

"W-wait, aren't you going to help me?"

"Ahm, what am I supposed to do? You want me to write her a letter explaining that you're afraid to talk to her? Actually, you sound nervous, do you want a massage too?"

"You're the one who said we were supposed to take care of each other, don't you think you could give me a hand?"

"Okay, Naoki, bye."

"Wait, you can't leave me-"

Beep. Beep.

I was once again alone to confront the world.

My heart raced, my brain raced, and my anxiety rose to the point where it overshadowed any sort of confidence and positivity. But even though I felt the urge not to face the situation I was in, I knew I couldn't sleep in the school hallway. The only solution was to keep moving forward.

As I was leaving the building, I could finally feel the sun beating down on my face, and in the midst of the sun's rays, from afar, I could see that the fear was becoming more real. Mayumi was standing by the school’s gate.

Mayumi was standing still, seemingly distracted by the cars passing by on the road.

"Is she waiting for someone?" I thought, as I looked around, realizing that there were no other students in the school besides me.

Mayumi was just waiting for a family member to come pick her up, or at least, that's what I thought, until next thing I knew, Mayumi was waving in my direction, with a little smile on her face.

I was petrified. In my mind, having to endure an interaction with her after what had happened in class, could be the lowest moment of my life. I didn't react to Mayumi's gesture. Who knows? Maybe she was waving at someone else. The only thing I cared about was getting home as fast as possible, and the closer I got to the gate, the faster my pace was.

As I was already passing through the gate, I could hear a calm, light voice calling for me.

"Naoki."

But with my hands on my backpack straps, and my gaze firmly fixed on the ground, there was no stopping me. I didn't reduce the speed at which I was walking and, without hesitation and a lot of embarrassment, I turned the corner and continued on my way, leaving Mayumi behind.

Tired, embarrassed, humiliated, sad. There weren’t many ways my day could get any worse. At least now, I could enjoy the silence of the people and the natural sound of Osaka as I walked. That is, until the silence disappeared.

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

I'm not going to lie, I was startled, and in my peripheral vision, I noticed someone leaning against the wall. It was none other than Lukas.

"Lukas?"

"No," Lukas said, "it's your guardian angel. What are you doing, Naoki?"

"Going home..."

"And you're leaving Mayumi behind?"

"Well, I-"

"She's been waiting for you for a while. Don't you think you'll regret leaving her alone now?"

I didn't want to understand what Lukas was getting at.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, I thought you liked her..."

"N-no, I mean, not like that."

Lukas just sighed, not knowing if I was lying or if I just didn't want to admit my real feelings.

"Look, Naoki, I just want to make something very clear. If you go home now and leave Mayumi behind, you'll never get another chance like this in your life." said Lukas, with a more serious tone.

The truth is, I knew Lukas was just looking out for me, in fact, I myself knew what I should and, more importantly, wanted to do. The problem, at least in my mind, was that now it seemed to be too late, Mayumi had probably already gone home and would hardly forget how she had been ignored.

"But I don't know what to do, I don't even know where she's going..."

"Run." said Lukas, calmly.

"Huh?"

"Run!" said Lukas, enraged, as he started running after me.

Sensing the animosity swirling in the atmosphere, I knew I could only run. Unfortunately for me, my skinny body wasn't very athletic.

"Listen to me, child, if you don't find Mayumi, I, Lukas Leopold, shall bring the punishment of the gods with me!"

"Just leave me alone!"

Conquered by fear of my friend's friendly warning, I would only stop running when I couldn't anymore.

With eyes closed and feet tired, it would be after an astonishing 50 seconds that I would stop running. Now with my hands on my knees and my knees on the ground, I would try to catch as much air as I could. Looking around, I would search for the demon that had been chasing me moments ago, but unfortunately for me, I would end up seeing something arguably worse. Standing on the sidewalk, about 10 meters away from me, was Mayumi.

I panicked, inwardly, seeing the person I had ignored, now looking at me with a blank expression on her face, while I tried to breathe normally.

After a few seconds that seemed like minutes, Mayumi just said nothing and continued on her way.

I felt miserable. It seemed like everything I did was just something that went wrong. But this time, I was willing to do the right things.

I lifted myself up with the rest of my remaining strength, and headed towards Mayumi.

"Mayu...mi." I gasped. 

My breath was still not fully recovered, but luckily for me, it was enough to catch her attention. Mayumi vaguely looked at me, as I tried to speak.

"You know, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you calling me."

I wasn’t good at lying.

"But, Naoki, why did you turn this way?" said Mayumi, confused by the words she had just heard.

"Ahm..." caught in the lie, I didn't know how to answer, and just spewed out the first explanation that came to mind, "A-an angel told me."

"Oh, an angel?"

"Y-yes, an angel." I said, continuing with the lie, while imagining Lukas' demonic face.

"That's amazing, Naoki!" affirmed Mayumi.

Wasn't exactly the answer I was expecting to hear.

"Oh, it is?"

"When you say 'angel', that means you always have a bit of luck and intuition on your side, right, Naoki? That's amazing!" added Mayumi.

Now I was the one confused in the conversation, but I could imagine worse outcomes.

"Well, are you going that way too?" said Mayumi pointing to the opposite direction of my house.

I looked that way and thought about the extra time it would take me to get home, but by this point, I might as well go all the way, I just sighed and replied:

"Absolutely!"

And so the travelling began.

As we made our way together, we both didn't exchange a word. Even though we were next to each other, we just pretended to enjoy the silent company as we passed through the town, along the roads and by the river. I looked at the ground, Mayumi looked at her surroundings.

I thought about my life, not knowing what I wanted to do when I got older, not knowing what goals I wanted to achieve, what to study, what to even think about. In my mind, only one thing was certain, I was just another average person in the middle of Osaka. But there was something missing in my life, something that I could only describe as a 'light'. A 'light' that would motivate me to be someone, a 'light' that would motivate me to live day by day and wish for better things, a 'light'...that Mayumi appeared to have. For a long time, from the back of the class, I would look at Mayumi's eyes and I would see a glow in them. A glow that I couldn't describe but that seemed to separate the two of us in more than one way. A glow that I intended to discover and understand.

Distracted by the constant thought, I was taken aback by Mayumi's interruption.

"This is it, I'm home."

I didn't know what to say, the entire time I had accompanied Mayumi, I had not said a single word, and now I found myself here, saying goodbye to her.

"Mayumi, I..." I was trying to find the right words.

"Thank you for the company." Mayumi would immediately cut off my sentence with her goodbye.

As Mayumi turned her back and started to walk away from me, I knew I would regret it if I didn't say something. All those days of feeling alone, spent in the dark watching how others lived their lives, would continue to curse me, but maybe with Mayumi's help something could change. In the end, something would have to change in my life, and this seemed like the right time to try. Now, it wasn't time to find the right words, but to say what was really in my soul.

"I'm sorry."

Mayumi was surprised, she didn't know where this was coming from.

"I'm sorry I ignored you" I continued, "I was embarrassed to face you after the classroom thing, but really I was just an idiot. I'm sorry, I'll never turn my back on you again, and if I don't hear you when you call me, I'll find you anyway."

If I could see my own face, I'd bet it was all red, and even though I didn't even know exactly what I was saying, one thing was for sure, I felt lighter. Mayumi, apparently interested in what she had just heard, asked with genuine curiosity:

"And how will you find me?"

I thought for a single second and confidently expressed myself.

"If I need to, I will look for you everywhere until I find you!"

Mayumi, without hesitation, approached me, raised her arm and, exposing her pinky finger, questioned:

"Promise?"

And I, without hesitation, placed my finger around Mayumi's and replied:

"I promise."