Whirlwind

“Nii-shii-zaa-wa!”

It was Sayu. The perfect image of Sayu, that is- with Ayasa’s face. I had been waiting at the lockers for almost an hour- not for her, but for the rain to let up. It had started around three in the afternoon and hadn’t let up since.

Miho had left some time ago, but I still couldn’t work up the nerve to approach her and borrow- or worse, share- her umbrella. She had looked back- just for a second- but was on her way out the door before either of us had lingered long enough to consider breaking the silence. Hiroki didn’t use an umbrella - he preferred to wear an old naval deck-coat, a hand-me-down from his father’s many years on watch as a destroyer captain in the Republic Navy. It wasn’t something that would be easy to borrow or share.

I had been prepared for this- I always kept a telescoping pocket umbrella in my bag. It wouldn’t cover much, but it was better than getting completely soaked. Unfortunately, Hosoya had confiscated it to use himself immediately after sixth period- no doubt the first of many interest payments on the sizable debt that Kanamaru had decided I’d owe him. Apparently, Hosoya believed that he could collect on any debt owed to Kanamaru by proxy. That left me without any protection from the driving rain squalls that were now sweeping across the concrete courtyard of Akiba North.

“Why are you still here?”

Sayu was as perfectly energetic as ever, in spite of the gloom outside. She usually stayed late to take remedial classes in a few subjects which her previous schooling had barely touched. It meshed well enough with her returnee cover story that it didn’t arouse suspicion in her classmates, but it also meant that she usually walked home alone.

“Oh. I forgot my umbrella.”

“On a day like this? You really are careless, Nishizawa.”

It was a little white lie. Ayasa- Sayu didn’t need to know about my deal with Kanamaru. All she needed to know was to stay away. As long as that was the case, and as long as I went along with it, Kanamaru would have an interest in keeping her secret to himself.

“I got caught up in all the excitement this morning. Barely made it to class.”

“Aaaah. I saw some of that happening. What’s going on?”

“Politics.”

Sayu laughed- the way Sayu would laugh at a dumb joke like that. It was unnerving. Ayasa Higashiyama had never heard of Sayu before I suggested it as a name, and even then I hadn’t given her any sort of detailed rundown on the character. Yet, Ayasa was playing this role well. Too well.

“So you’ve just been waiting here? For me?”

“For the rain to let up.”

“Nishizawa-a-a, that’s the wrong answer.”

That sing-songy teasing voice was also perfect- and perfectly unnatural to hear coming out of Ayasa’s mouth. Ayasa wasn’t the type to-

No, maybe she was. Our last conversation- the last one I had with Ayasa- had shown me how little I still knew about her, and now her perfect performance in the role of Sayu was making me question what I did know. Had it all been a lie? Was that pleading, desperate face that night just a carefully crafted illusion to force my sympathy? Were the tears she shed in the Karaoke room that day fake, too? Had I even once spoken to the real Ayasa?

“I’m sure it will let up soon. It’s been going like this for a few hours now.”

“No chance of that.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Sayu slid in next to me with the faintest hint of a coy grin spreading across her face.

“I’ve got a special tool that tells me everything about the weather.”

She pulled out something from her bag. It was a small white smartphone- not one of those expensive branded ones, but it looked fully featured.

“You- You got a smartphone?”

“Yep! It was a cheap one on discount. They even gave me a student discount on the service plan!”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Whaaaaat? Why would it be dangerous?”

Sayu’s overplayed incredulity was enough of a hint. Ayasa knew a smartphone carried risks for her- but Sayu needed a phone to be Sayu. It would be hard to be a social butterfly without a modern communication method. I dropped the line of questioning; a smartphone alone wouldn’t be suspicious for any high schooler to have.

“See! Look there. It’s gonna rain until nine.”

Sayu had pulled up a weather app on the phone. The radar image showed dense thunderclouds streaming in over the Kanto Plain. There was hardly a break large enough to get home in without being drenched.

“Oh. That’s not good.”

“I told you it was the wrong answer.”

“Then-”

Sayu impatiently tapped the hilt of her umbrella. Wait, where did she pull that out of? It was a big, full sized one. I hadn’t seen anything that big in the umbrella rack near the door before.

“Oh, are you going?”

The grin on Sayu’s face seemed to form into a cute little pout.

“Nishizawa. I am going to walk out the door in about five seconds.”

“Oh?”

“Four.”

“Now? It’s still blowing sideways out there!”

“Three.”

“Do you think I could borrow your umbrella for a few minutes while I get another one at the-”

“Two.”

Better take the hint, Touma Nishizawa.

“Can I walk home with you? Just for today?”

Sayu smiled and nodded. I followed her out the door as she struggled to get the big thing open. It caught the wind and immediately collapsed in on itself.

“Here, let me-”

I squeezed the handle of the umbrella, forcing it forward. My hand was clasped around Sayu’s. The umbrella's strut clicked into the detent. We stood there for a few seconds like that.

“Should we-”

Sayu’s voice was interrupted by another gust of wind and rain that nearly pulled the opened umbrella out of our hands. I grabbed the handle with my other hand.

“We should both hold on.”

Sayu looked at me funny.

“So it doesn’t blow away, I mean.”

I shifted my grip around. Sayu released the strut and clasped her hand around mine. It was cold- and a bit damp.

The rolls of thunder resounded down the city streets. I wasn’t sure if it was from lighting flashes or perhaps the turbines of unseen fighter jets rocketing around above the clouds. The rain wasn’t letting up- large streams were now sweeping down the sides of streets into flooded gutters. Keeping the umbrella in a position to shield both of us was proving to be a very difficult task amid the downbursts.

“Did you make any friends in your class, Midorikawa?”

It was the first thing either of us had said since leaving the school.

“Not yet. Soon, though.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Who do you know in that class, Nishizawa?”

“Nobody.”

“Why ask a stupid question like that, then?”

“I wanted to hear a stupid answer.”

Sayu giggled at this. How was she this good? When had I ever told Ayasa that Sayu was the type to laugh at stupid jokes? When had I told her that Sayu would always be ready to jump on somebody who said something dumb? Those were all interactions I had only had in idle daydreams. Was she psychic?

“Do you like it in the rain?”

Yes, that was the kind of question that Sayu would ask now.

“I like the rain. I don’t like-”

A gust of wind caught the umbrella, torquing it towards Sayu. I strengthened my grip, inadvertently pulling us closer together. Her face was close. Her wavy hair had caught some of the rain, straightening it into dampened tips. Sayu was averting her eyes.

“-I don’t like thunderstorms.”

“It’s a bit violent, isn’t it.”
I pulled back. We were walking past the street where we had stopped earlier. Another convoy of trucks was parked on the side of the road. Guards clad in forest-green rain ponchos and armed with rifles were leaning on the sides that were shielded from the rain. Thankfully, it wasn’t blocking traffic.

“Hey, Nishizawa… what do you think’s going to happen?”

“With what?”

Sayu gestured at the convoy.

“Oh, the army stuff? Hiroki thinks it’s just some saber rattling. Don’t you see that stuff on the other side, too?”

“The other side?”

There was ice in those words. It was a clear message. Sayu Midorikawa had never been to the other side of the wall, after all. I backed down again.

“Never mind. It’s probably nothing.”

“Hey, Nishizawa…”

“Yeah?”

The rain was still heavy, but it had for a moment stopped coming down sideways. The streets were nearly deserted, despite the fact that it was rush hour. The rain had driven everyone else inside.

“I’ve been thinking…”

“That’s new.”

I don’t know why I said that. Ayasa wasn’t dumb. No, that was the kind of thing you said to Sayu, who would get the joke and laugh along with it.

“Please. I’ve been thinking that we should hang out more.”

“Hang out?”

“Did I use that wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m just… why?”

“Just because.”

Yes, that was Sayu, too. Sayu didn’t need a reason to hang out with someone like Touma Nishizawa. Sayu could hang out with everyone. It was just what she did. How in the world was Ayasa this perfect at playing the role?

“Sure.”

“You don’t sound too happy, Nishizawa.”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Are you supposed to? Is it every day you get girls asking you to hang out? Are you a real womanizer like that?”

Sayu was a tease. Sayu was sociable. Sayu was a thoughtful person who would look out for her friends. Sayu was everything I wanted in a-

Sayu was everything I wanted in a girlfriend. Yes, that was it- the core tenet of my fantasies. That was always what Sayu had meant to me: a girlfriend who could be everything Miho hadn’t been- and wasn’t going to be any more. It didn’t matter how Sayu wore her hair or spoke to her classmates. It didn’t matter what kind of music she listened to or what kind of food she liked to eat. It didn’t even matter how she felt about math quizzes. That was why it could all be changed. That is why none of it mattered.

It was so simple. The only thing that mattered about Sayu Midorikawa was that Sayu Midorikawa was Touma Nishizawa’s girlfriend. Ayasa had figured that out- no, it must have been plain as day to anyone who had overheard me suggest it. A heady feeling of self-loathing welled up in my gut.

“I…am I?”

Sayu was confused by this.

“Are you a womanizer?”

“Yeah. Is that what I am?”

With a look of consternation, Sayu ripped the umbrella away from my hand. We had been holding it in our mutual grip the entire time.

“Personally, I think you’re just dumb, Touma.”

“Yeah. I might be.”

We were coming up on Hiroki’s apartment now. That black car was pulling out of the lot- illegally parked again? I considered running over to ask, but the car pulled away too fast.

“Crazy drivers.”

“So… what do you think?”

Think? About what?

“Uh…”

“About us hanging out more?”

“I...think we should.”

“See? That’s all you needed to say.”

Sayu was back to being Sayu again. Perhaps she hadn’t ever been anything other than Sayu. Yes, that was the way to go about it. Sayu wanted to be Sayu. I wanted her to be Sayu, too.

So why did that feel so wrong?