Has the Dawn Ever Seen Your Eyes?

After much deliberation, he had finally pulled the trigger. The shot didn't hit him or the intruder, however, instead it missed the roof. One more hole in a building that had never been in a great state.

The struggle for the rifle continued on the floor.

But she was a thin, malnourished girl, while he was a well-fed boy. Who was used to hunting bears the size of houses and worse. No way was he going to lose to that scrawny runt.

Behind those thoughts was indignation, rage, even.

His life expectancy was measured in minutes, not even hours. Was there really room for rage? He just had to tie up one last loose thread. Nothing more than that.

The boy let go of his rage.

And perhaps because of that he was able to win the struggle with relative ease. Getting her off him, rolling her on the floor and exchanging positions. From there it was easy to pry the rifle out of her hands. Like taking candy from a child, was what he thought as he raised the rifle and aimed it at her head.

A girl his age, maybe younger. This bullet was meant for me, he thought as he put his finger on the trigger.

But he didn't pull it. He didn't even start to pull it.

"Shoot," urged that girl under her bangs. With surprising intensity, considering she looked like she could be blown away by the wind if she was careless. An undeserved intensity, too. Acting as if he were the intruder, the aggressor, and not the other way around. "Come on. Get it over with. I'm not going to let you..."

She choked on her own words, with rage and despair boiling inside her. But she didn't look away for a second.

The boy had said she looked like she had just stepped out of a war zone. In the other world, his world, he had been a stupid, privileged kid.

But it didn't take a genius to know what kinds of things happened to women during the war.

Of course, men suffered too, but they usually didn't have to worry about being.... About being taken advantage of. He didn't want to let his imagination run wild, to assume too much, but her words that had suddenly cut off and her eyes, which perhaps once had been beautiful but were now sunk in a dark pit, those eyes....

He realized he couldn't pull the trigger. Regardless of whether his initial assumption was true or not, there was something behind that immense pain.

Maybe it would be a mistake, one of many, but suddenly he couldn't pull the trigger.

He lowered the rifle.

The girl lunged forward.

To get the rifle, again. It was only natural that she saw it as an opportunity, that she didn't trust him. He should have said something before he put the gun down. He took aim at her again, but she didn't stop. She really was determined not to be taken alive.

The boy hit her full in the face with the butt of the rifle, making her collapse.

He could have been more... gentle. But he'd simply reacted to the danger, it wasn't something she'd thought of.

"Calm down, please. I know you have no reason to trust me. But I'm not going to... hurt you." He lowered the rifle, again. "You must be hungry. I can give you food to eat, clothes to change into, though I can't promise they'll fit. And then you can leave. I won't stop you, okay?"

He had found himself unable to pull the trigger. But if she forced him to, he knew he would. Even though as someone who planned to die soon, he had no right to steal another's life in self-defense, as if he saw any value in his life.

Hypocritical, perhaps, but true. So he needed her to calm down.

Needed her to listen to the voice of reason.

"Agreed? I need to hear you say it."

"Agreed," the girl replied, slowly and after a while. Then she got up laboriously, one hand where he had hit her, still massaging herself.

She wasn't a bag of bones, not yet, but it was all too obvious that she hadn't had much to eat for a long time. He felt doubly guilty for hitting her, but what else could he have done?

He should feel...

Guilty no, but extremely stupid. What did he have to gain from this when he was going to die soon? What did he care what happened to this girl or not? He didn't even know her name.

They set to walking. He allowed her to keep her distance, and she walked backwards to never turn her back on him. If he wanted her dead she would be dead already. If he wanted other things, he wouldn't be cheating on her, it would be easier to throw himself at her. She had already proved she couldn't handle him. But if he were in her situation he wouldn't let his guard down under any circumstances either, no matter if it made sense or not.

It was going to be the most awkward dinner of his life. The last supper he'd skipped before, because why do it? One more loose end to tie up, he supposed. But first of all...

"You should change. Look upstairs, the room closest to the right. Take whatever you want." He had no need for that, anyway. "Whatever fits."

Apart from her extreme thinness she was soaked from head to toe, caught in the recent storm. That made her look even smaller and more miserable.

The girl headed upstairs without bothering to respond.

Maybe she would do as he had told her. Maybe she'd run out the window instead, unable to trust his goodwill. Personally, he didn't care, because at this point it wouldn't be his problem. All he could do was wait. He had already done everything that could be expected of him and more after receiving a violent intruder in the middle of the night.

"Ah, but what the hell am I doing," the boy muttered, the barrel of the rifle grazing one cheek, simply waiting by the stairs. "I should have pulled the trigger. Now I wouldn't have a headache, at least."

***

Finally the uncomfortable dinner arrived. His clothes were too big for her, but the fact was that the girl had changed instead of running away. Even if they had been of the same height and general build, they would have fit her badly due to the effects of malnutrition. Meaning, she wasn't a bag of bones, but it showed.

He wasn't a good cook. But the girl, whose name he still didn't know because he hadn't said another word to her, didn't seem to mind.

Huge chunks of meat, from one of the many house-sized bears that were around and no more, disappeared into her mouth in the blink of an eye. She had a small mouth, the boy wasn't sure how she managed it. And without hardly stopping.

Managed for the moment, rather.

"My name is Shuji." He still held the rifle close, but not in his hands, but on the seat. He was sitting at the table with her, also eating although his bowels would empty soon.

He had to kill time somehow.

Maybe that was why he introduced himself, though it made no sense.

Names in this world were nothing he hadn't seen on Earth, except for one detail. In two years he had never heard anyone with a Japanese name. That was why his name would attract attention wherever he went, not to mention his distinctly different appearance.

But he had never made up a name. For him it would have been like giving up.

Only not.

Only now he had really given up and was still clinging to that name.

Whatever, who cares?

"Be careful. You could choke."

Or throw up, he thought.

That didn't matter, too, but...

Anyway.

Shuji felt deeply uncomfortable, as if he had insects crawling under his skin. It took great willpower not to start scratching himself as if he was sick in the head.

He wanted it to go away, fast.

He wanted... he wanted to be at peace. This world at least owed him that much.

"Thank you." When she finished, the girl at least deigned to thank him, which pleasantly surprised him. The clothes, bah, who cares. But he had literally bled for that meat. The least he deserved was a thank you.

"You can take all the food you can carry. It's going to spoil, anyway."

"You're moving out?"

"Do you care?"

"Not much." The girl put her hands on the table and sat up. It was as if she needed the support, almost. Maybe she was nauseous, dizzy, from the binge eating. "My name is Luna. You reacted very quickly. What were you doing with that rifle before I arrived?"

Shuji frowned, was she an idiot, so eager to try her luck? What was she expected to say? What did she expect to get out of it?

"You didn't have it on you to defend yourself, did you?"

Oh.