Asterion Thinks Some Thoughts

All thoughts had come to a halt in Asterion’s head as he stood frozen with his hand still extended towards Daffodil. Without knowing what else to say, he said, “Thank you,” and pulled Daffodil to his feet.

Thank you? Asterion instantly replayed in his mind. That’s the best you could come up with?! he berated. In his defense, no one had ever confessed their love to him before so it’s not like he had a response ready for the occasion.

“Are you… going to say anything else?” Daffodil asked, a hesitance in his voice that Asterion had never heard before. It was enough to shock him out of the spiral his thoughts were entering.

“Uh,” Asterion said, starting off strong, “is it okay if I take some time to process this?”

“Of course!” Daffodil replied immediately. Asterion couldn’t help but recognize what seemed like a disappointed look in the man’s gaze. You’re just imagining it, he told himself, because that was often the case. Even if Daffodil was disappointed, he should have known that Asterion wouldn’t be able to give him an immediate reply. He wasn’t necessarily known for taking emotional curveballs in stride.

But aren’t you? a part of him asked. Wasn’t that part of the charismatic charmer persona he wore like a suit of armor whenever he was playing WanderQuest? He did always have a funny quip at the ready and he was always able to pivot at a moment's notice. But did Daffodil know that? Did Daffodil know him?

“Let’s collect the berries,” Asterion said as he pointed at the bushes, trying to break the stifling silence that had settled over them. He walked over to the nearest bush, summoned a basket from his inventory, and began to pick berries two or three at a time.

There had to be a faster method, he decided as the two of them silently started to strip the bushes, but he didn’t bother trying to find it. A menial task that could be done without conversation was exactly what Asterion was looking for right now. They didn’t know how many berries to pick for the man so they decided to completely clear out two of the ten bushes. That way there was no way he could complain about them not picking enough but it would leave the majority to the merchants he’d mentioned liked to collect and sell in the market.

The two picked from separate bushes, so Asterion had an excuse to face away from Daffodil. He wasn’t hiding from the man, just giving himself some space while he thought things over. At least, that’s what he told himself.

Honestly, the biggest shock for Asterion was that someone was capable of loving him romantically. In the real world, he was either bullied or, if he was lucky, completely ignored. No one even wanted to be his friend, so there was no way someone would consider dating him. When Asterion started to gain fame in WanderQuest, everyone wanted to be his friend. Asterion always took those proclamations with a grain of salt; he’d taught himself early on that he needed to be cautious with whom he truly let himself consider a friend because almost everyone around him just wanted to use him. There were people that genuinely wanted to be his friend with no ulterior motive, but Asterion couldn’t really trust those people either. Even without being a streamer himself, plenty sought him out in the game while they streamed his every move to thousands of viewers. He had never tried to establish a social media presence himself, but that didn’t stop the onslaught of videos about him online. He’d seen the compilations people made of him, taking things he’d said when he was tired or being particularly stupid and using it to infantilize him, like he was a cute toddler they’d found on the street. People who watched those videos were always overly familiar with him, acting like they were already best friends and thinking they knew everything about him.

But none of them had ever confessed their love to Asterion.

Was Daffodil mistaking the platonic love he felt for Asterion as romantic? Was he convinced he loved Asterion because of the suave personality he put on in front of strangers? How could he love him?

There was also the other problem which was that Asterion had never really considered Daffodil to be a real person until a few days ago and oh boy did that sound bad when he put it out of context. It had always been easier for Asterion to interact with strangers in WanderQuest when he forgot there was a real living person attached to the avatar he saw on screen. If he could pretend he was just talking to a part of the game, it was infinitely easier for him, and after months of playing WanderQuest, he got really good at doing it without a second thought. It had been even easier to forget he was talking to a person when he talked to Daffodil; only communicating through text made it feel like Asterion was talking to a really sophisticated chatbot, not a human. And Daffodil had always been so nice to him and listened so attentively to his stories. What human did that?

Asterion hadn’t even considered him to be a real person and it turned out Daffodil was in love with him? For how long? Since they’d first met? A week ago? He could only talk to Asterion with his keyboard and only knew what Asterion wanted him to know, but that had been enough to fall in love. Asterion wasn’t sure how someone could fall in love with a person they’d never met before, but he guessed one could say the same thing about a friendship. They’d only ever known each other in the game, but he fully considered Daffodil to be his best friend.

For the first time since they met, Asterion was fully interacting with Daffodil. They could talk, could touch each other. For the first time Daffodil was a real human being to Asterion. He still hadn’t fully processed that whole thing, so it would certainly take a while for him to question if he liked Daffodil romantically.

The thing Asterion was most grateful for was the body he was in. Rei Hasegawa couldn’t take down the Demon Lord or date his best friend, but he wasn’t that man anymore. He was Asterion, full of charm and charisma and everything needed to talk to human beings and not game characters. He was Asterion, a man Daffodil could fall in love with.