Summertime Rendezvous: Parental Love

I brushed my teeth and washed my face.

I stared at the mirror before me.

"..."

Here we go again.

I got dressed and headed downstairs.

"..."

"Morning Hayate, would you like some breakfast?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"You sure?"

"What if you get hungry?"

"You shouldn't starve yourself?"

"What if you faint in the middle of the street?"

"Mom quit worrying about me."

"I'm fine!"

"I won't die that easily."

"Hmmmmmm." 

"Darling!" 

"Hayate is being rebellious again."

"Now now honey, he is an adult now."

"We don't need to remind him when to eat and what to eat."

Mother stared at Father intensively. 

"Some father you are, hmmph."

Mother dashed off to the kitchen in discontent. 

"Don't worry about your mother."

"She'll be fine."

Father sighed.

"..."

You could say this has become a regular occurrence now.

And I can fully understand where Mother's concerns are coming from.

No mother would want to see their children left feeling hungry, whether it's humans or animals. 

It's a natural tendency.

It's a sign of motherly love. 

Motherly love that nurtures us all. 

And complementing this love, is fatherly love. 

Fatherly love that provides us with a platform, a platform for support and guidance, to ensure we walk towards the right path.

But.

Not everyone is fortunate to receive such parental love.

"..."

There have been recent studies on how parental love impact children's upbringing and the future paths they may take. 

And this has been categorised into four styles:

1) Authoritarian.

Parents are described as puppet masters, controlling each and every action of their children. Enforcing discipline, rules, and most all, demanding results. 

In short, your stereotypical Asian parents. 

This parenting style does bear its fruits.

Children with authoritarian parents become successful, enough to thrive in this material world.

But.

At what cost?

"..."

At the cost of their humanity.

They become static robots, unable to make decisions, for themselves. They yearn for the support that they usually would get from their parents. Some even find it difficult to socialise with their surrounding.

2) Permissive.

Parents are described to be like a friend towards their children. They will do whatever it takes to make their children happy.

This may seem like an ideal parent style.

However.

There is a consequence.

Children often end up not appreciating and treasuring the littlest of things that they have.

People often call these children, 'spoiled brats'.

3) Authoritative. 

Parents are like teachers, empowering their children to be free and explorative, while answering any questions that their children may seek answers for. A few sets of rules and discipline are also enforced, but this is to ensure their children understand their actions and consequences. 

As a result, children grow up to be righteous and self-disciplined. 

Parenting is after all supposed to be a journey to watch your children grow into beautiful beings.

4) Neglectful.

This is the worst type of parenting style. 

You can pretty much guess from the name.

Neglectful parents are like strangers who do not hold any relationship with their children. They abandon their children and enable them to do whatever they please.

These poor children never learn the basic morals nor understand the true meaning of love.

As a result, they go to great lengths to seek attention.

And these poor children, do not...

Value themselves.

"..."

These styles only form the basic blueprint of parental love.

It does not paint the full picture.

There are many other factors that influence parental love that needs to be considered.

One main factor would be household environments. 

It is clear as day, the differences between a rich household and a poor household. 

In a rich household, children grow up eating three meals a day, their environment and surrounding are full of toys and entertainment to keep them happy. 

While in a poor household, parents cannot afford to feed their children three meals a day nor can they facilitate the ideal environment nor surroundings to keep their children happy. 

And this may lead to some children being humble and appreciating what they have. 

But this may also lead to some children committing petty crimes to acquire something they may not have.

This then leads to...

Trauma.

And trauma in the form of negative childhood experiences, can play a huge influence on what a person grows up to be and how.

Children who commit petty crimes are usually interrogated by the police with great deterrence. 

And the police's first approach is everything.

These children either understand and realise their mistakes.

Or they are left traumatized with fear or hatred. 

Encouraging the children to enter the door to criminality. 

People often think the purpose of policing is to catch the 'bad guys'. 

But that's completely wrong.

The real purpose of policing is to prevent crime.

And this doesn't just happen by catching criminals and putting them behind a cell. 

It happens by making them understand what they did wrong and the consequences of their action. 

As a result, this reduces the chances of criminals reoffending again. 

This is even more effective if the crimes are committed by young perpetrators. 

These young perpetrators still have room to make change, their future isn't fixed just yet, unlike adults.

Like policing, the goal of parenting is to prevent children from making wrong decisions and guide them to make the correct ones.

This is all just the tip of the iceberg.

Negative childhood experiences can go to extremes.

"..."

Racism.

Drugs.

Physical Abuse.

And the most depressing one of all.

Sexual Abuse. 

"..."

There is a common dangerous misconception about sexual abuse. 

People often believe this form of abuse only happens out in the public as per the term 'Stranger Danger'. 

But that's wrong!

The real truth is... 

It happens more often in domestic situations than it does in public situations. 

The impact it has, especially on children, is immense, completely changing the whole dynamics of how they think and behave. 

And the craziest thing is.

It is even reported that there is a high chance of the perpetrator being a victim of sexual abuse themselves when they were a child. 

It's difficult information to comprehend.

But the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. 

"..."

So, if you ever think of your parents nagging at you as bad, then remind yourself, about those who are less fortunate to not have a household and environment like you do.

You'll appreciate it more.

And most of all, enjoy it, laugh it out.

As the day when you no longer hear their voice will eventually come, sooner or later.

This is the life of us, humans.