Alan- Gradutation

We truly never appreciate the irreplaceable things in life, until they're gone. Long holidays, events, or those everyday classes... these moments, until they become memories in tomorrow.

Four years of hard work, countless exams, friends, and memories created - it all culminates in this very moment. It's surreal, like a torrent of emotions crashing against the wall of my heart inside. I can't believe high school is ending. What's next? College, new challenges, and responsibilities. The thought of stepping into the unknown terrifies me, but it also excites me.

However, my thoughts were abruptly shattered by an unexpected jab from behind. "Alan, are you okay man?"

I turned my head slightly, catching Mark's gaze as he peered at me through half-lidded eyes. I offered a quick-smile, "Oh, yeah, just lost in my thoughts for a moment."

"I can tell," Mark said, nudging me gently. "It's a lot to take in, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you're right."

As the principal's long, droning speech continued, I felt like I was sinking into an endless abyss. Each word he uttered seemed to stretch on indefinitely. My eyes glazed over, and I struggled to keep my focus. The vibrant blue sky above seemed to be mocking me too, as if nature itself was taunting me.

My mind wandered, catching fragments of his speech - bits of advice blending into an incomprehensible jumble. I half-expected him to recite from a dictionary, anything to extend this painful moment. Though only a few minutes had truly gone by, time had twisted itself into an eternal stretch.

I glanced around, observing others in the audience. Some attempted to find comfort in the unforgiving auditorium chairs, while others anxiously checked their watches or phones, yearning to know when this ordeal would come to an end. Amidst the sea of faces, I suddenly caught sight of Iva. Our eyes met, and it was like a shared understanding passed between us. We were both longing for an escape from the seemingly never-ending speech. A small, amused smile graced our lips, a silent acknowledgment of the shared struggle.

I returned my gaze to the principal, determined to muster the strength to stay focused for just a little longer. Graduation was meant to be a joyous occasion, a celebration of our hard-earned achievements, but this speech was turning it into an endurance test.

As the principal finally reached the conclusion of his seemingly never-ending speech, I let out a silent sigh of relief. The applause that followed was like sweet music to my ears, signaling the end of this arduous journey.

Our laughter and chatter filled the hallways as we made our way back to our classroom. Time felt like it stretched as I strolled around the hallways, taking small steps instead of returning right away. I wandered deliberately, moving slowly, soaking in the sights and sounds around me.

Everyone was having a good time, sharing flowers and capturing moments with their parents. But I didn't feel connected to it all. I even persuaded my parents not to come... my emotions were blurry, distant, unwilling to anchor themselves on a day like today.

Time slipped away as I wandered the hallways, my attention elsewhere. Eventually, the steady stream of students and well-wishers thinned, and the once-crowded halls grew quieter. At the end of the hallway, I paused, my gaze extending through a nearby window. The sun still shone bright above, casting a tranquil, golden glow over the campus. Quite what you expect on a day like this.

Drawing in a deep breath, I tore my gaze from the window and began heading back, when unexpectedly, Iva emerged before me. "Iva?!" She seemed to have run all the way here. She was breathing heavily, and I couldn't help but worry about what might have happened.

"I couldn't find you in the classroom. I've been looking everywhere for you."

Her breathless reply surprised me. I let out a small chuckle. "I was just walking around the school building for the last time, you know, savoring the memories."

"Oh, just that? I was wondering where you were..." A wistful smile graced her lips.

"It's strange, you know? This place, these hallways – they've been our world for so long."

She nodded, "It's like a chapter ending."

"But another one's beginning, I guess..."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

There was a comfortable silence between us, the kind that knew its way without needing to find its own words. And then, like a gentle breeze carrying secrets, I asked, "How are you feeling, Iva? Knowing that you're finally walking ahead on your own path?"

She sighed, my gaze drifting beyond the window to a horizon filled with endless possibilities. "Excited, nervous... a little sad, too. But I think it's time for a new adventure, you know? A chance to spread my wings and see what else is out there."

Her response resonated with me. We were both standing at the crossroads of our lives, not knowing what we might face ahead. But one thing is for sure, for whatever we may have to face in the future... I want to keep on feeling how I'm right now, Iva. 

Her voice interrupted my thoughts. "How about you, Alan? How do you feel about the journey ahead?"

I paused for a moment, pondering my response. "I feel a mix of emotions, too," I admitted. "There's excitement, but I'll also miss this life a lot. And more than anything-"

"And?" She tried catching where I stopped. My heart tightened. I couldn't just tell her that I would miss her deeply; it was a vulnerability I couldn't reveal at this moment. Instead, I needed to be strong for her, so that she can feel reassured whenever doubts might start creeping in.

"I'll return to the classroom. Alan, you should go back too when you're done."

She spoke, and as she was about to turn away, an impulse took hold of me, surprising even myself. Without thinking, my hand reached out, fingers wrapping around hers in a tender hold. With a gentle tug, I drew her closer, a motion so subtle, yet laden with the emotions brewing within me.

"Iva..." I began, unsure of how to put my thoughts into words.

Her eyes met mine. "Is there something you want to say?"

My mind raced, caught off guard by her direct question. "Well, um... yeah."

What am I even doing? I don't want to make myself look so weak in front of her right now. I was meant to be her strength... yet right now, it's me who's crumbling down.

"Alan, if you need to say something, then you can. No worries."

"Iva... do you remember that night... after our performance in the cultural event?"

Her expression shifted, as I anticipated. Before she could respond, I hurried on. "You don't need to give an answer. You can take your time. And as long as it takes... I'll wait. So take your time."

"Thanks, Alan. It means a lot to me."

Taking a breath, I searched for the right words to continue. "But for now... just... stay with me for a little longer. I'll miss you when you leave. We won't be able to see each other for some time."

"I'll miss you too, Alan. A lot."

How many times has it been that I'd been saved by her? I grant a slow nod, my gaze descending to the ground below. "Thanks, Iva. It's just... I don't know what I'll do without you around. It's like a piece of my world is shifting, and I'm not sure how to handle it."

My heart aches for her, as I am all too familiar with this sensation—emptiness, uncertainty, and an unrelenting yearning. Iva's hand finds its place on my arm, offering a comforting squeeze.

"I understand, Alan. I felt the same way when Noah left. But you know what? No matter where life takes us, I don't think how we're truly feeling right now will change, because we are present here right now. We'll find new ways to stay connected, to support each other. And who knows, maybe someday, we'll all be in the same place again."

"You really think so?"

"I do, and until then, I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise me that you'll stay here, in this town, and keep our memories alive. Promise me that you won't let this place lose its magic, even if I'm far away."

I took a moment, then nodded with determination. "I promise, Iva. I'll wait for you here." Tears welled up in my eyes as I pulled her into a heartfelt hug. 

"Thank you, Alan."

To the me in the past, there's no need to worry. Even if you seem lost now, even if you feel powerless, overwhelmed by the expectations placed upon you, one day, for sure... you'll find someone who'll be there for you, someone you can set your heart on.

Iva's gaze softened, a lone tear glistening at the corner of her eye. "Alan, thank you." she murmured.

At that moment, we didn't need to say anything more. Our hearts spoke the words that our lips couldn't. The world around us faded away as we relished these fleeting moments.

In life, caring alone cannot guarantee the safety of the things we hold dear... but without that care, we gamble with the loss of what we hold dear. Nothing in this world is perfect, and the world itself is far from flawless. Yet, despite its imperfections, it continues to be there for us, trying its best to provide and support. And it's this very effort that gives us the hope of something beautiful in the future.