A Dreamy Experience

We finished eating and I ordered a couple of glasses of water.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

She put her hands on the table and gazed into my eyes. I realized that it was something serious.

“I want to apologize to you first.”

“For what? I don’t see a reason to.”

“I was so distant towards you back then and didn’t bother to contact you again even after you’ve been so kind to me…”

“I’m the one who made a mistake. You don’t have to apologize. I was the one who tried to gain the attention of a girl who wasn’t interested in me.”

“No…”

“It’s just that… The moment I saw you for the first time, my eyes were stuck on you like magic. You’re so beautiful that I froze in place. From then, I observed you dance and play the violin. It was such a marvelous performance that my admiration for you only grew. And, by the conversations I had with you, I learned how amazing of a person you are. It was then I started having a crush on you. My fondness for you only grew by the day. Now that I think of it, it is ridiculous but, I even imagined what it’s gonna be like if we started dating. I even explored stuff like TV shows that you like and watched them just so we could have a conversation. But, everything has a limit. Once I realized, I had nothing left to talk with you, except the boring stuff which I was sure you didn’t like. Then I realized what was happening. You were never as eager and interested as I was and it felt like I was just projecting my feelings onto you. Then a wave of guilt hit me and I started thinking of stuff like ‘maybe she was just putting up with me’, which made me feel miserable. A relationship requires effort from both sides to ensure happiness and contentment. Once I realized that, I couldn’t bring myself to contact you. Still, I hoped that you would one day contact me and this burden would be lifted off me. You never did. Then I started immersing myself in work, anime, games, and other stuff. Throughout your absence, I realized the difference between liking and loving someone. The latter, in my opinion, has to be unconditional, and for it to BE unconditional, I have to know ‘that someone’ more which can only be achieved by spending quality time with each other and enjoying each other’s presence. This would make me feel that I need to love and protect that someone. So, once again, I apologize for causing trouble since I was the one who imagined stuff and got hurt on my own.”

While I was rambling my feelings non-stop, she just kept looking into my eyes calmly and carefully listened to everything that I said. She then took a sip of water and looked into my eyes. I felt a huge wave of guilt cover my mind for dumping my feelings onto her. So, I apologized-

“Sorry for ruining the mood. But, I sincerely want to know you more and be friends with you. Still, I will respect your decision regardless of what it may be.”

“I was a shy person and I was scared that it would cause a misunderstanding and ruin both my image and relationship with friends and family if I offended someone unknowingly. It happened a couple of times in my past where I unknowingly offended people which was not my intention. Since then, I started limiting my interactions with people. A few years later, you came into my life and helped me open up and say what was on my mind. I’m sure You did it while being completely unaware of it. I thought I gained a valuable person in my life and I thought spending more time with you would be even more fun. I thought about many things I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t find the courage to do so. It was exactly then you started speaking to me less and less. I thought ‘Oh… he’s also done with me.’ and I felt that same despair loom over me again. With a painful heart, I entered college and found myself in trouble with a couple of seniors. Like a blessing, I found you again and I was so happy to know that you didn’t give up on me when I was told that it was you who sent Aashvi to my rescue. These little gestures of kindness by you made me feel really blessed. So, I called you out to request that we should start over again.”

With happiness in my eyes, I said “We really should. And I am extremely happy right now!”

“Me too…”

We silently stared at each other and blushed. I was glad that it was just a misunderstanding on my part.

“I’ll pay for myself…”

“No, I’m the one who brought you here so I insist on paying.”

“I can’t let you do that… It’s an expensive place too…”

“It’s fine. I’m paying because I’m really happy that you gave your time to me and for the fact that we made up.”

I went to my dorm and went to bed quicker than usual since I felt really tired. I felt really happy and was excited for the upcoming days of my life which were going to be filled with unforgettable memories with her.

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The next morning-

I wanted to text her again and picked up my phone. I couldn’t find her contact. There was instant regret that I couldn’t remember her phone number. I thought it was Vishal’s doing and woke the idiot and started yelling at him-

“Get up you IDIOT!”

“Ehh What? Did something happen?”

“Why’d you delete Myhtili’s number?”

“What number? I didn’t do anything… Let me sleep.”

“Stop joking around and speak!”

“Who is that goddamn Mythili in the first place!?”

“Wha-”

“Yeah! Stop hallucinating shit and get your lonely ass to the class. And also stop dreaming about stuff like you having a girl’s number. As if someone would give you- the one who doesn’t even approach them. The only contact you have is Aashvi’s!”

“But didn’t you speak with her in the cafeteria the day before yesterday?”

“You were with me and Aashvi the whole day and we came back to the dorm together. What happened to you bro?”

‘Did I just imagine everything by myself? She didn’t exist in my life?’ Tears ran involuntarily from my eyes as I began to think about all the stuff that happened between us…