It's a good mornin' and I'm feelin' fine

"I'll go alone, okay? I'll go alone and kill that thing; it's run away, so it must be on its last legs. Then we can carry on as usual, okay?"

It was an attractive suggestion. The promise of the reward without having to take a disproportionate risk, since the leader would carry all that on his shoulders. Like a leader was supposed to be? Maybe he had felt something similar at the time, selfish as it was.

In any case, he managed to convince them.

And then it became inevitable.

——

Luna was talking to him.

Shuji was back in reality, though only halfway. He saw her mouth open and close, but her words didn't reach him, just a strange buzzing sound, like a radio that no longer worked, like a screen full of...

Static.

He was still on all fours, having just finished vomiting in the river. He couldn't contain himself. Still with vomit spilling between his lips, he turned sharply to pin her with his gaze.

He couldn't contain himself.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"I..."

Shuji gritted his teeth.

"Owe you? Don't give me that. Who would go to such lengths for a few clothes, food and a roof over their head for a night's sleep? You want to take advantage of me? Because I'm mentally unstable? You want to come into my life, like some... like a...?"

He knew he was going too far. If not as soon as those words came out of his mouth, then when he saw her back away with some fear in her eyes, perhaps not directly fear of him, not yet, though it shouldn't be far off, but of the fact of what an angry man could do to her in this place far from civilization.

That should have incited his sympathy, brought him to his senses.

But he only stopped when he choked on his own words, his anger.

Ah. His stomach was empty, but he still felt like throwing up.

His eyes stung. There were unshed tears gathered there. He wished he could say it was due only to the unpleasant experience of vomiting.

"Answer me. Just answer me so I can trust you."

Did he simply want to depend on someone again?

Silence was his only response. For a long time, or at least what seemed like a long time, that continued. Long enough to think the conversation was over, in any case. But it wasn't.

"Isn't it obvious?" Luna replied, her voice barely audible. "How many times do you think I've thought about ending it all?" She took a deep breath, and spoke louder. "If you have to die, fine, but... I don't want you to die like this. It's not the answer."

It's not the answer.

If he had friends in this world, they would probably tell him the same thing she had. It was a normal person's answer, part of common sense. And she wasn't wrong. It wasn't the answer.

But why would he have gone that far except that he lacked other answers?

She didn't understand. She didn't understand one iota.

How could she understand, even if she thought she did?

"I'm not even from this world!" Before Shuji realized it, before he could think better of it, he blurted it out. There was no turning back now, no possibility of mending.

Luna's eyes widened.

——

The leader took care of the monster without their help. He didn't drag the corpse of the monster so they could see it, but they took his word for it anyway.

From the darkness of the cave they passed into the most dazzling light.

There was no light more dazzling than that of gold and at the bottom they found a room literally made of gold. This was better than the pay offered by the one who had hired them, all they needed and more, much more.

The reward they were looking for could be seen everywhere they looked. Three hundred and eighty degrees of pure gold.

Even the statues, though there would be no way to get them out of here, were made of gold. Four statues, two on the left, two on the right. Shuji didn't know what they represented and didn't care.

"Unbelievable, this is.... "Someone gave voice to what was on everyone's mind.

No one would want that as last words. He couldn't even complete the sentence.

His head flew off in the next instant. That boy's blood splattered all of them and they barely reacted, still in shock from that nightmare. Shuji vividly remembered blinking as his blood hit him in the face.

There wasn't total chaos, as it was like they were numb from everything they had been through before, but there was confusion. Of course.

It had been too fast, like before.

Not to mention that they, or at least he, had harbored something like innocent hope.

Looking around for the culprit, maybe that monster who had survived and came back for them, when it was right in front of them. What had cut off the man's head was a sword.

The wielder was right there, smiling.

The leader.

That son of a bitch wanted to take everything.

And he had fooled them completely. The gorgon appeared, sliding quickly down one of the room's pillars to the floor, then leaping behind him. One of them perhaps shouted a warning. But nothing happened to him, of course not.

As Shuji had said, he had fooled them completely. That monster was subservient to him.

From the very beginning?

Or only since he had wandered inside the cave, searching for it on his own? Perhaps he had been the first to find this room and had then hatched the plan.

It was unimportant, in any case.

"What do you mean?" Luna asked.

How else could she react? It was to be expected, but it bothered him anyway. As if she was questioning his own identity. How many times had he wished, if he couldn't go home, at least to forget about it? At least forget everything and start a new life in this world.

But he couldn't deny himself like that, nor the people he had shared his life with.

However short and full of mistakes it was.

"There are no metaphors or hidden meanings. I'm not even from this world," Shuji repeated, this time more forcefully.

It felt good. No, great.

Finally being able to tell the truth for a change. He felt as if he had lifted a great weight off his shoulders, even though he had only taken the first step. Could he call it a first step when it was a road to nowhere? He supposed not.

"That's all," Shuji finished, firmly. He couldn't take it back at this point, pretending it had been some weird joke or something, but he didn't want to either. It was the truth. For two years he had lived a false and empty life, but he didn't need to start lying, on top of it. He didn't need that weight.

"Come on, what..." Luna laughed nervously, unable to finish the sentence.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" Shuji asked directly, his voice becoming quieter but more intense. He thought he sounded like a different person. A person he didn't like. Dragged by... no one else but him, he couldn't spread the blame around. "Is this when you start to think I'm someone dangerous?"

Meaning, not being so careless with a complete stranger.

If that was the case, it was too late to start. Even with her magic, what was she going to do if he decided to attack her, this close to him, on this terrain? But he didn't want to fight, didn't want to hurt her.

Shuji just wanted to be left alone.

He'd had enough. Enough.

"No. Shuji, please, that's not what I mean." Luna raised her arms as if in surrender, trying to calm him down. She was a little afraid of him and that should churn his guts. Instead, he didn't feel good about it, but he didn't feel bad either. "But... I just don't... How did you expect me to react?"

An echo of his thoughts.

It's not like it wasn't obvious, this time, but she seemed to be able to see right through him. With all the kinds of magic there were in this twisted world, why couldn't it be literally true?

"Not in any particular way." He'd just grown tired of lies that didn't suit him. "Get lost, if that's what you want. I don't need you."

Shuji stood up.

As if the ground trembled under his feet, as if it swayed slightly. But he stood up.

"No. I'm not going anywhere." Luna put her hand on his shoulder. "Shuji, you need..."

Help.

Help, because he was crazy.

Help, because he was a danger to himself and other people, and things like other worlds didn't exist.

Help, help, help. Help.

"Shut up. Shut up, don't say it. Shut up."