Sitting on a Loveseat

The first thing that Mitsu noticed about Leila’s shop was that it smelled distinctly like blueberries. Why? Mitsu didn’t know. Nonetheless, it was a bright note in the otherwise muted atmosphere of the store, and Mitsu found it rather charming.

It was a rare situation that Mitsu entered a place that looked bigger from the outside, but he always had the good graces not to mention such things aloud, so the fact that the avocado green wallpaper was also peeling away and exposing the yellowed wall underneath, or that Leila’s little loveseat in her living room was solely adorned with lumpy and flattened cushions—well, he had better things to focus his attention on.

After herding Ren and Mitsu into the living room, Leila prodded them both until they were sitting next to each other on the loveseat, their hard shoulders pressed uncomfortably against each other. They both looked at each other before blinking up at her, waiting for instructions. 

Leila put her hands on her hips, her expression one of mild irritation. “Stop looking at me like that, it’s pathetic. Do I really need to tell ya to sit here and talk to each other? Aren’t ya best friends or something?”

Mitsu rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry. Since it’s not my home, I didn’t want to assume…”

“It’s time for me to take my medicine,” Ren said, also trying to defend himself. “I was waiting for you to give it to me first…”

“Medicine?” Mitsu echoed. “Are you sick?”

Ren picked at a loose thread in the embroidery on the arm of the loveseat. “I got tossed around a bit by some guys when I landed here. I broke some bones, so it’s just to help with some lingering pain.”

Mitsu sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Guess I was right to be worried.”

Ren waved him off. “It’s fine. It’s been a while since I’ve had a proper fight—forgot how much it hurts to lose, though.”

“He’s an idiot,” Leila said with a scowl. “They tried to ransack my place again, and Ren decided to stop them. I’d never even seen him before that day.”

“And yet, here I am…sleeping on your couch,” Ren said. He smirked. “Did I ever tell you I love being a Good Samaritan, Mitsu?”

“It sounds like she was more of a Good Samaritan than you, to be honest,” Mitsu said.

“Ouch. Mean.”

“Anyways,” Leila started, taking control of the conversation, “I have some business to discuss with Amber for a while. She’s the only beekeeper who will do business in Lovey, so I have to take advantage o’ that. Think ya can manage on your own for a little bit, boys?”

Ren pulled her closer by the wrist and leaned up to kiss her. The kiss only lasted for a moment, but she looked even grumpier than before as he leaned back and let her go. He looked genuinely pleased with himself as he said, “We’ll be fine. Go talk potions and pharmacy stuff or whatever.”

Leila merely huffed in response before patting Ren on the face and returning to the front of the shop, where Amber had chosen to linger. As soon as he was sure she was out of earshot, Mitsu grabbed Ren by the arm. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“…Did you get a girlfriend?”

“…You’re asking that to the man still sleeping on the couch?”

Mitsu hated to admit he had a point. “But she let you kiss her? Shouldn’t that mean something?”

“It does, I’m just…not used to it meaning something, is all. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

“I know what you mean,” Mitsu said, his voice vibrating like violin strings in the silent air of the room. “I’ve been traveling with Amber for a while now, and I still haven’t found my footing.”

Ren looked at him as he waited for him to elaborate; this time, Mitsu wasn’t afraid. Back when they’d been talking at the track, and even before, Mitsu had been so ashamed at the thought of what Ren would think, what he would say, and so he avoided talking about Sakura because he didn’t want to be forced to confront his use of mediums. The situation with Amber, however, was different. It always was. It probably always would be.

Ultimately, Mitsu desperately needed support—and his best friend to lend him a discerning ear. He couldn’t allow fear of judgment to get in the way.

And so, like a piece of pie crust being sliced through with a fork, Mitsu crumbled and broke beneath Ren’s inquisitive gaze. He told him everything that had happened—about meeting her, about dancing with her, about the fake relationship—and for the first time, he finally admitted why Amber Lamanne mattered this much to him at all.

“I like her,” Mitsu admitted. “I want her. I just don’t think I can let go.” He rubbed his arm self-consciously and looked away. “I don’t know if you know anything about telling the bees, but…”

“Only what Leila has told me.”

Mitsu took a breath. “Amber said, I might be able to…speak with her again,” he whispered, “and I can’t—I just can’t ignore the possibility after trying for so long and—”

Ren placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. I get what you’re saying.”

Mitsu interlaced his fingers and rested his elbows on his knees as he waited for Ren’s response. If he was squeezing his hands together tightly enough for them to turn white, he barely noticed.

Ren tilted his head as he hummed in thought as he brushed his fingers over the dragon tattoo on his neck. Eventually, his hand fell away. Mitsu’s leg began to bounce a little. “Mitsu.”

Mitsu stilled. “Yeah?”

“Have you told Amber about Sakura?”

“No,” Mitsu told him. “I haven’t. It just…it never felt right.” Trust wasn’t the issue. A lack of vulnerability wasn’t the problem. It was just that Mitsu had been trying so hard not to breathe her back into existence by saying her name that he’d preferred not to tell Amber anything specific at all.

“Then I think you should,” Ren said with finality. “If you like her, you should be honest with her. Tell her why you’re hesitating, and what Sakura means to you. Tell her what she means to you. If you do, I think you’ll feel a lot less unsure of yourself.”

Mitsu chuckled under his breath. “Simple and straightforward. The hardest approach for me of all.”

“I could give you some crappy reassurance if I thought it’d help,” Ren mused, “but that kind of thing doesn’t work very well with you. So go talk to her and make what you want out of your life.” 

He smiled at Mitsu then, and there was a hint of relief in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “I’m happy you found someone. I was worried you were too obsessed with Sakura to try again.”

“I was. I am.”

“Maybe. But if you can still love Amber despite your feelings for Sakura, then…I think you’ll be just fine.”

“I don’t want to be fine,” Mitsu said quietly. “I want to be happy.”

“You will be,” Ren said, eyes drifting back in the direction that Leila had gone. There was a certain longing in his expression that Mitsu had never seen in him before. “And so will I. I promise.”