Unveiling Shadows: The Slow Path to Healing

Adrian stopped talking for a while. Sitting in the dimly lit room, he couldn’t face Dr. Nina. He felt a mix of anxiety and vulnerability. Dr. Nina didn’t say anything; she didn’t want to break the silence as she was giving him time to rest and think about it. She had a calm and reassuring presence that made Adrian feel safe enough to open up, but still, like for many others, it was difficult to talk about some things.

“Adrian,” Dr. Nina decided it was time to continue, “I understand that talking about your memories might be difficult, but it is very important for us to explore these feelings together." She spoke gently; her warm blue eyes were showing empathy towards Adrian.

Adrian took a deep breath and nodded: “I know, it’s just that. Everything is so confusing for me right now. There are some gaps in my memories; I try to remember, but I can’t. I don’t know why they’re missing; I try and think of a reason, but I can’t think of anything.” His eyes were facing Dr. Nina, but he wasn’t really looking at her as she was see-through. “My memories are missing, and I don’t know how to fill them in.”

Dr. Nina nodded. She picked up her notepad from the glass table and jotted something down.

“That’s completely normal, Adrian; I told you, you just have to take it slow; don’t rush; you did great just now and everything was in order; you remembered everything from that day, right?” When Adrian nodded, she continued.

“Our minds try to protect us from painful or traumatic experiences by blocking them out. It is a coping mechanism, a way to protect ourselves.”

Adrian took a moment to really listen to her words. After absorbing them, he realized that his mind had been trying to protect him from something he wasn’t ready to confront yet. “That makes sense, I guess. But it is frustrating. I want to remember now, but it is like there is a locked door in my mind and I can’t find a way to open it.”

“An excellent comparison,” Dr. Nina said, is that you have to find the key for that door; trying to break in will get you something that is behind that door, but after you get it, you will be left with a broken door with no way to fix it.”

She smiled gently. “It is a gradual process, and we will work together to find a way to open that locked door at a pace that feels comfortable for you. For now, you’re doing great. Remember that healing takes time, but the most important thing to do towards healing is to take the first step.”

Adrian nodded; he was grateful for her support and understanding. “Thank you; you’re right. I know it’s a long journey, but I am ready to take it.”

She wrote something down in her notebook again and slowly placed it on the glass table.

“Continue when you’re ready, Adrian.”

He looked at the ceiling. The shadows were playing tricks on him; their shapes looked like some big twisted letters. As he looked longer, it seemed as if he could decipher one word, “Don’t.” He brushed it off. His mind really is in a confused state. As he rubbed his eyes with his right hand, he continued: