Chapter 12: Maggie.

The memory drifts once again.

It's my first day at work.

I'm settling into my new desk. I couldn't love it more. It's in the corner of the office, where I can be invisible but close enough to my boss's office.

My nice spot in the shadows suddenly gets ambushed by rays of sunshine.

“Hey! I’ve been told you're the new one,” says a smiley girl standing in front of me.

She's wearing a brown corduroy jacket, a white T-shirt, and jeans. Her long caramel wavy hair falls beautifully over one of her shoulders. On her left hand, she holds a Moonbucks coffee cup, and on her right, a last model MangoPhone. Just from her looks, I could bet that she likes Saylor Twift. Long curled eyelashes frame her round brown eyes that look at me with wonder.

I guess I've been looking at her for too long.

I hurriedly stand up from my seat to meet her. "Sorry. I'm Sasaki Rin. Nice to meet you."

"Margaret Connors. A pleasure to meet you," she says with a laugh, stretching her hand. "But you can call me Maggie.”

“Nice to meet you, Maggie,” I say once again as I shake her hand.

“Should I call you Sasaki or Rin? It's always a mystery for me," she says while taking a seat. “On my first day, I called our boss by his name. Ough! That was quite an uncomfortable moment.”

I laugh.

"For me, there’s no problem about that. Rin is okay," I say. There's just something about how Americans pronounce the R in my name that I love. So I let everyone call me by my name here. "Are you also in the translation department?"

"That's right! And I’m not supposed to tell you this… but you've just won the jackpot. This job is fantastic!" Maggie says, smiling.

Maggie goes on to explain to me that we're the only two translation department employees. Our boss, Saitou-san, is very quiet, so the job is not too demanding when it comes to translating live.

"Then why do they hire two translators full-time?" I ask.

"It seems that Saitou-san likes it that way," Maggie says, shrugging. "The only thing that can get tedious is translating all the emails and documents. So it's nice to have another pair of hands here."

Maggie's phone starts ringing with the song empty space. She ignores the call.

"Do you like Saylor Twift?" I ask, surprised to know I was right about my suspicions.

"Do you?" she asks, analyzing me.

"My younger sister loves her. So I'm used to listening to her." I say, trying to sound cool as Maggies turns red out of the excitement.

It took me a little time to get used to the job. Saitou-san speaks really fast, so it's hard to keep up with him during live translations.

"Where did you learn Japanese so well," I ask her during lunchtime. We are heaving the best tacos I’ve ever had.

"I love anime. So one day, I decided to learn Japanese,” Maggie says.

“I would have never noticed that you are an otaku!” I sarcastically exclaim as I’ve seen the husbando collage on her phone’s lock screen.

“Well. I’m a box full of surprises. You know?” Maggie says with swagger. “Can you believe I've never been to Japan?"

"No way!" I say

"I guess you'll have to give me a tour through Tokyo one day," Maggie says.

"I bet Saitou-san could do it as well," I say, and we laugh.

Somedays, work would pile up in my inbox, and I could barely speak with Maggie. On other days we spent the whole day talking about anime, books, or any good movie coming up. It was easy to get along with Maggie. Laid back and easy-going as a person but really professional with her job.

One day we went to the movies to watch the new Demon Slasher movie. I guess that was our first unofficial date.

The weeks passed by. Sometimes she would bring me coffee. On her birthday, I got her an album autographed by Taylor.

One weekend I noticed that I started longing for Monday to come. I missed her. I wanted to be next to her for longer.

The memory blurs.

We are at a barbecue with other co-workers next to the beach.

I’m having a juicy piece of watermelon when a co-worker says, “Let’s go to see the sunset!”

We all stand up. As I walk to the seashore with other co-workers, I see Maggie looking at me in a way she’s never looked at me before. She walks away from the group, and I follow her. After a while, she stops next to a pier and contemplates the sunset. Her hair is waving with the sea breeze.

I stand behind her and hug her. Maggie doesn’t push me back. Her warmth, her sweet scent.

I want to stay here forever.

“You have to leave, Rin,” Maggie says as she turns back to me. I love how she rolls the R of Rin.

“I don’t want to,” I say as Maggie affectionately touches my cheek. She’s looking at me with tenderness, her eyes are watery. I’m crying.

This is weird. I don’t remember that this happened.

“You have to move on, Rin,” Maggie says.

“I love you,” I say.

Maggie smiles. “Do me a favor, Rin. When you go back out there, start living again as we did in California.”

“But…” I stutter.

“There are more people out there that need you. Your family, Aki, Masa… Ellie needs you to get back to Japan,” Maggie urges.

“I don’t know if I’ll be enough…” I say, hesitant.

“You’ll always be more than enough,” Maggie tenderly says and kisses me.

The memory rolls again.

It’s the day after. I’m lying on my couch, scrolling down on TocTic, when someone knocks on my door. It’s Mila, Maggie’s friend.

“What’s up, Mila?” I say.

“Rin… let’s sit. Okay?” Mila says, and both of us sit.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Rin. Maggie had a car accident. She’s no longer with us,”

It happened when Maggie was on her way home. A truck that lost control.

I went to the funeral. Maggie’s parents hugged me, and I cried a lot as the service took the coffin away.

I quit my job and would visit Maggie’s grave every day.

Mom flew to Los Angeles to bring me back to Japan. Dad helped me get a job at the conbini to keep my mind busy. Masa and Aki would pop up every chance they had.

The memories top rolling.

I’m back in the white space, the creature is still here.

“Do you know what it is?” asks the voice.

“Yes,” I say.

“Then, decide.” says the voice a dagger appears levitating in front of me.

The creature is what makes me weak. The tempting surge of being able to get rid of it invades my body.

The dagger whispers to my ear with a deceiving voice. “You’ll never have to be weak Rin ever again. You’ll forget the pain. Do it!”

I don’t want to be weak Rin, anymore. I take the talking dagger and step forward to the creature.

The creature stays there, defenseless, unwilling to fight me.

I kneel. Raise the dagger, ready to finish the creature.

I look at the creature.

“You’ll always be more than enough,” resonates in my head.

I take a closer look at the creature’s body. Written on its body, I read:

left behind, failing, vulnerable, not enough.

I look at the creature's eyes. those that seemed oddly familiar.

The creature’s eyes… are my eyes.

I drop the dagger.

“I am you,” I stutter to the creature.

The creature starts glowing, smiling back at me.

“Wise choice,” says the voice.

For a brief second, I’m looking at a copy of myself in front of me.

Have I always looked like this?

The white space fades.

I’m back in the throne room, kneeling on the cool floor. A golden long cylinder lies on my hands.

Ellie is sitting on the floor, resting her head on a column. She’s holding another cylinder like mine.

“You’ve made it!” I shout at her.

Ellie startles for a second. Then looks at me, “You’ve made it too!”

Ellie runs. kneels next to me and looks at my face for a moment.

Tears run down my face.

Ellie hugs me.

I don’t push away. I stay there as my tears cascade down Ellie’s shoulder.