Teddy Bear

Never have I ever thought that this would ever happen in my life.

I stood on the floor frozen on the spot, in utter disbelief. Annika stared into my eyes with her sapphire gaze, anticipating my next move. She covered half her face with the sheets, looking to the side and towards me, back and forth. The tension in the room rose to new heights as our gazes continued to meet with each other. Everything fell into an awkward silence, yet there seemed to be a quiet connection starting to form between us. The purple hue of the neon lights set the tone of the atmosphere, a cool and calm sensual color.

“What are you waiting for?” Annika muttered. “Don’t you want to do it with me?”

Annika, my first love, the person I loved the most, asked me to have sex!

I’ve already done it countless times with different women, so my experience was off the charts. Yet, if it’s with her, it felt like I had never done anything like this in the first place! My heart beated like crazy, and every inch of my skin seemed to tingle and in excitement. My very bones shivered at the thought of getting it on with her. The blood deep inside of me heated up like a steaming volcano.

It’s like I’m a virgin again!

My legs moved forward.

That’s one small step for man…….one giant leap for Kwan Jr.

I stood in front of Annika, with my eyes down towards her face. She looked up at me and gulped down on her throat, then she squinted her eyes.

“P-Please be gentle.”

“All right.”

I moved my hand closer towards her chest…..and struck in for the kill.

“I’ve been waiting to do this for so long,” I said and smiled.

“W-What?”

I patted her head. For the first time in my life. I pushed down and rubbed through her hair. My fingers brushed against her scalp, messing up the white strands of her hair. Annika opened her eyes and puffed her cheeks.

“Hey….that’s illegal! I’m the only one who gets to do that!”

“I told you before, that I’d have my revenge once I grew taller than you. Now, I’m going to do the most evil thing ever and give you an infinite number of headpats!” I let out an evil laugh.

“No fair…….”

“You get what you deserve.”

“But….” Annika fidgeted as she poked her fingers. “Why won’t you do it with me?”

“You’re drunk, idiot,” I knocked on her head.

“Ouch!”

“I’ll have you know that I’m an advocate for consensual sex. You’re clearly not in the right mind for consent. Besides, didn’t you say you only wanted to get laid after marriage?”

“Oh……I see……”

Annika fell silent, totally defeated as she allowed me to give her my special head pat combos. I let out a cocky grin in victory, only to be caught off guard by her arms on my back.

“Then sleep with me! Literally!”

“W-Woah!”

Annika pulled me to the bed, which caused me to fall down on the sheets, and she gave me a nice tight hug.

“Let me use you as my teddy bear, please….”

“Fine…..” I surrendered to her embrace. “You happy now?”

There was no response. I realized that she was fast asleep, with her head resting on my chest and her legs wrapped around my body like a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master.

I’m stuck.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

I pulled away the loose strands covering Annika’s face. She slept with her mouth a little bit open, with her subtle breaths leaking out from her lips. I stroked her cheek. Her skin was smooth and white as snow. To me, her face was that of an angel with a childlike innocence. I could watch her sleep all night if I wanted to…..

So cute…….

Huh?

My eyes opened to a bright sun that shone through the window.

I realized that I had fallen asleep.

“Mmmmmph….Kwan….”

Annika still hadn’t let go of me ever since. Slight twitches on her brow began to develop, and her eyes slowly opened to reveal the morning sea. I found myself falling deep into the blues of her gaze.

“Morning, Annika.”

“Morning.”

Annika let go of my body and sat up on her bed, stretching her arms and letting out a big yawn. After that, she stared into the wall in front of her. Then, she looked at me for a good two seconds.

“W-Wait a minute.” her cheeks flushed. “No way. D-Did we actually?”

I chuckled. “Yep, we did.”

“Haaaaaaaa?!” her jaw dropped.

“I’m joking. We slept on the same bed together. That’s all.”

“Don’t give me a heart attack like that!” Annika punched my shoulder. “Y-You’re so-achk”

Before she could finish her sentence, she covered her mouth and ran to the restroom. And she released her rainbows on the toilet..

Right…I forgot this was her first time.

Still, it was surprising how low her tolerance of alcohol was. That was only one drink…..unless the bartender dumped too much alcohol on that drink. I wouldn't be surprised considering he was on Suvi’s side.

I walked inside the restroom to help her let it all out, and rubbed her back.

“There you go.”

“I…..achhhk!”

“Yep, just keep going.”

Annika wiped her mouth with her arm and stared into the toilet silently. She didn’t make a single sound after that, which was a little concerning.

“Annika?”

A drop of water dripped down on the toilet. Then more droplets began to splash down. It was only then when I realized they were tears falling from Annika’s face.

“I’m a hypocrite.”

“What?”

“I tried to get you to quit alcohol, but I ended up drinking some myself. And even got myself drunk! I’m a hypocrite!” Annika flushed the toilet and walked away.

“Hold on!” I left the restroom and followed after her.

She sat down on the bed and bent her body down, with her long white hair touching the floor. I sat next to her and caressed her back.

“Kwan.”

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to continue your promise any longer. It’s over.”

“Huh? Why?” I asked.

Annika moved her body back and looked up to the ceiling.

“There’s no point in forcing you to pursue ideals that even I couldn’t maintain.”

She turned to look at me.

“Perhaps Suvi was right. I can’t possibly comprehend the hardship I’m making you go through. You’re suffering, aren’t you? All of this is for my sake, isn’t it? You’re pushing yourself to change because of me!”

I winced. I couldn’t come up with a response. I couldn’t even deny it. The reason why I started this journey was because of her.

“You don’t have to do this any longer. Just go be free and do whatever you want.”

I slapped her in the face. She rubbed her cheek and looked away in shame.

“So what if I’m doing this for you?” I grasped my fist. ”That’s enough of a reason for me to keep on going. You’re my motivation for doing this!”

“That motivation is gone now! Look at what I did!” Annika pointed her fingers at herself. “I drank alcohol and even asked you for sex! Can’t you see? I’m a puritanical hypocrite! There’s no example for you to follow!”

“Well, nobody’s perfect, Annika! We’re all imperfect human beings! We’re forever fated to make mistakes! So what? What matters is that we’re trying our best to be better! If you’ve put all your heart into it, there’s nothing to regret!”

Annika’s eyes expanded.

“Because of you, I’ve become a better person. Why should I quit now and throw it all away like it was nothing? I know it’s going to hurt, and I’m definitely going to slip at some point, but so what?! I’m gonna stand back up! I’m gonna keep standing until I can finally beat all my addictions!”

“Kwan….”

“Hold my hand.” I extended it to her.

Annika grabbed my hand with shimmering sapphire eyes.

“I want to keep doing this, together.”