the audition

The anticipation swelled amongst the candidates as the manager set up a modest speaker system to an old iPhone.

“I’m Yoshiro Taketa, the general manager of Silver Star, and you’ve been invited here to audition for our newest venture - an idol group.” He smiled wide, showing all of his teeth.

Hanako sucked in a shuddering breath beside me. She held her hands behind her back, fidgeting with her fingers nervously.

“We will begin the auditions in alphabetical order,” Yoshiro continued, holding up a piece of paper. “Everyone else is asked to wait outside until their name is called.”

One of the girls raised her hand. She was dressed in a cute lolita style. “Excuse me?”

“Yes?” The manager replied.

“Are our guests allowed to listen?”

“No, this is just between the panel,” The manager gestured to the colleagues behind him. “And the singer.”

Hanako shrank back a little.

I gently put my hand on her elbow. “It’s ok,” I said. “You don’t need me to be great.”

“First up is Mi Araya,” The manager said.

A girl with long blond hair perked up and stepped forward. She ignored everyone else’s eyes on her, sizing up their competition. She was beautiful but nowhere near as beautiful as Hanako.

The rest of us shuffled out. The hallway, if you could call it that, was too cramped for too many people to wait for their turn. Somehow we organized ourselves to allow the Mi girl's friend to stay in the hall, and the rest of us moved back outside.

Hanako fidgeted with her hands. “Why does it have to be alphabetical? I want to get this done.”

“Don’t worry. It will be quicker than you think,” I said.

We stood silently, waiting for her name to be called.

I couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Why was talking to girls so difficult? I moved back and forth in my mind. I wanted to reassure her but I was scared of saying something wrong. I could accidentally make her more nervous if I wasn’t careful. I wasn’t exactly good with emotions and stuff, but I knew what it was like to be nervous. No matter how many times I got 100% on my exam, I was always nervous for the next one.

A few minutes later, the girl named Mi walked out with a spring in her step. She and her friend were talking excitedly in hushed voices.

The girl who went after her looked pale and clammy like she might faint.

Hanako closed her eyes, humming to herself. She wasn’t going to let the vibes of the other contestants screw with her head.

I smiled, hearing one of my favorite songs that she sang. She hummed along, bobbing her head to the rhythm.

One after another the singers went up the stairs and left about ten minutes later.

Finally, we heard “Hanako Mizuno”

She perked up and set her shoulders.

I followed her back up the stairs.

Before entering, she whirled around and looked me straight in the eye. “Daiki…”

My heart skipped a beat. “Yes?”

“Thank you for being with me. Even though you’re in the hall - I’ll sing loud enough for you to hear me. It will be like when we first met at the karaoke bar.”

I couldn’t help but smile. It seemed like ages ago when I accidentally (or not so accidentally) walked into her karaoke booth. “I know you will,” I said. “And I’ll support you every step of the way.”

I watched her walk into the office, shoving down my doubts and fears as the door closed behind her.

Thankfully the walls were thin enough that I could hear almost everything that was happening.

“Name?”

“Hanako Mizuno.”

“Ah yes, the one who was referred to us by Sawa. Tell us about yourself.”

“I’m seventeen, and I attend Tokyo Girls Arts Academy. I’m trained in piano, but it’s my dream to become an idol.”

“Great. And what song are you singing for us today?”

“Love Melody.”

“Ok,” There was a pause while the song was set up. “Ok, take it away.”

Hanako’s voice hit me and I was transported to the moment when I first heard her.

“Love is like a melody, so sweet and true, it's the rhythm of my heart, it's all because of you! Every moment spent together feels so right. In your arms, I find my shining light!”

Her melody. Her light.

It’s true - every time I was with her, it just felt right.

I leaned against the wall, absent-mindedly counting the pushpin holes and the scraps of tape left over from countless posters. My heart ached.

Even though I couldn’t see her physically, when I closed my eyes, I could imagine it perfectly.

Hanako - the wanna-be idol.

Hanako - the girl who was going to be famous one day.

Hanako - the girl that I … loved?