Life is Bittersweet

Kritvik Bhatt

The sun was setting. The sun had gone down the horizon, man, and the dark blue sky of the evening was filled with a number of irregular clouds, spread here and there like shreds of some scratched paper. The white apartments beneath the sky stood high proudly, for some reason. The street, obviously, was silent and peaceful as always. After all, there were no humans, just some gray-colored cars and black bikes.

It had just rained some hours ago, maybe. The street was damped and there were even some pools of water in the middle. The street was completely dark because of the water. The apartments too were a little wet, and the cars and bikes were covered with their raindrops.

I stood on the balcony of my apartment, which stood on the second story. I had my arms on top of each other on the black-painted metal railing—which was covered with raindrops too, obviously—and my back was bent a little frontward. I had my head tilted leftward as I glared toward the intersection where four lanes cut each other at ninety degrees each, for some reason.

“After all, life is bittersweet, huh?” I thought as I glared at the intersection, for some reason. My eyes were a little narrowed and I seemed lost in some deep stuff.

A little gust of wind blew from my right to left, and coldly waved my hair a little until it settled down the next second.

“This… smell of rain… this humidity in the air, this coldness in the breeze—all of it… makes me feel as if I’d lost something, maybe. I kinda feel nostalgic. I kinda feel like… it’s something I can never get back, for some reason. I kinda feel like… I’m not me anymore… and that I’ve lost some part of me. But, what is it?”

I remembered Jiya’s white pimpled face, for some reason, and her huge smile.

I smiled a little. “It’s not her—no doubt.”

I remembered Aditya in his usual t-shirt and capris combination along with his white sneakers, Aishwarya’s chubby figure in light color shorts and t-shirt, and Madhav’s slightly fat belly beneath his dark t-shirt, and in the middle of them all, Jiya in her slender figure and her cylindrical sweatpants and loose t-shirt. All of them, for some reason, were smiling at me, man.

“They… must be happy, man. They must be happy wherever they are right now.” I nodded my head, for some reason. “Yeah, they must be happy.”

I then turned my head straight down and looked at the watery road.

“They… are still together, huh?”

I took in a deep breath through my mouth, and then sighed out.

“And I’m left here… alone in despair.” I gulped in.

“Life used to be so simple back there, man. Just laugh and play and do stuff like that all day. But now, th-there’s just so much going on in my life, for some reason.”

I moved my arms frontward and intertwined the fingers of my hands, my elbow still on the railing. I also straightened my back a little, for some reason. I then turned my head skyward, looking at the dark-bluish sky filled with gray clouds on top of my head.

“It was so silent and peaceful, man. The sky extended to infinity with no end in sight, but still… it looked like there’s an end to it—that there’s something that puts a stop to everything. The clouds floated freely… they were weightless, for some reason, but they still felt like… there was something… weighing them down… from going further and discovering the end to this blueness. Maybe these clouds were just like me—there’s always something weighing us down from reaching the heights of happiness we want to, for some reason.”

“Maybe I should try calling Sana. She said she’d like to play badminton in the evenings.”

I moved my right hand back from the railing and stuffed it inside the pocket of my sweatpants. I took out my smartphone and turned my head rightward to look at its screen as I used my thumb to swipe on it continuously, searching for her number with my frowning eyes, maybe. After a few seconds such as that, I moved the phone to my right ear.

Triiing. Triiing. Triiing. Triiing.

Beep!

“Hello?” Sana’s voice said from the other side of the smartphone.

“Hey, Sana.”

“Hey, K, what happened?”

“Nothing, man.”

“Like, why did you call then?”

“Uh, I just remembered that you were asking some time back if we could meet for badminton after school in the evening.”

“Yeah.”

“I was free, and I just remembered that, so I thought that maybe I should call you, man. So, wanna come by?”

“Not really, K. You see, I’m really busy right now. This math homework is just not ending!”

“Damn!”

“What?”

I smiled. “I completely forgot about that!”

“Ahaha,” She laughed. “Well, you should start doing it. Sir said he’d call our parents if the homework isn’t done, you see. And, it’s really hard, so it might take some time too.”

“D-Damn… Maybe I should start working on it, huh?” I turned my head skyward, my smile fading away.

The sky was a little too dark now, for some reason, and the sunlight was just about to fade away, no doubt.

“Whatever. Anyway, if you’re free tomorrow too, we can just come by tomorrow anyway.”

“Okay, man. I’ll call you tomorrow then.”

“Anyway, wanna do homework together?”

I frowned as I turned my head frontward. “Huh?”

“Well, we’ll just be connected on this phone call and do our homework side by side. Like, we can chat like that, which would probably not be as boring, you see, and we can just ask each other if we’re stuck on some question. What do you say?”

“Damn, seems like a good idea.”

“Okay then. I’ll get my earphones and connect them to my phone. Wait for a moment.”

“I should take out my math stuff too until then,” I commented as I turned my head backward and walked inside the wooden door to my room which stood behind my back.

***

A fleshy figure of a man in white shirt and black pair of pants stood in front of another guy in a denim blue jacket and a black pair of pants. The first one was Aaryan, and the second one was Rohit, man. Both of them were glaring at each other, for some reason, and both had their backs straight, and their hands inside their pockets.

The sky was completely black by then, and the sun had set, obviously. The park where they stood was the same as where we used to play badminton together some time back, no doubt. In fact, that same badminton court stood on Aaryan’s right, with the seat in the middle of the edge of the court on his back to his right, with a thick layer of bushes and stuff further back.

“Well, I had this shit planned out for months, motherfucker.”

“Yeah, asshole,” Aaryan rudely replied back.

Rohit then irritably replied, “Why the fuck are ya acting like a little girl, motherfucker? This ain’t something serious. Y’are being a fucking jerk right now.”

“Yeah, I’m being a fucking jerk, alright? Ya happy now?”

Rohit irritably sighed as he turned his head downward. He held his forehead with his right hand for a second. He then moved his head frontward at him, with his hand still in front of his chest, and asked, “Well, nobody came to yer little birthday party. Whaddya want from me now? Should I fucking dance here or some shit for ya?”

Aaryan shook his head for a second as he glared at Rohit in disbelief. He then turned rightward and started to walk away.

Rohit continued to look at Aaryan’s back walking away to the other edge of the park. Aaryan then turned left toward the footpath as he said, “Just don’t fucking talk to me, asshole. That’s the best ya can do for me, ya see.”

Rohit glared at him for a second with a little shock. Then, he shouted back, “Well, who the fuck wanna talk to ya anyway, motherfucker?! Just get yer ass fucked for all we fucking care!”

“Fuck off, asshole,” His slight voice reach Rohit.

“Fuck ya, motherfucker!”

***

The sharp cool white lights of my room were turned on. Both the doors on my back and my right were shut as I sat in front of my wooden table at the corner of my room. My smartphone was kept on the right side of a thick open book and my notebook was beneath it. On top of the notebook, I was scribbling my pen as I solved some mathematical sums, obviously.

“Ahahaha!” I laughed. “Yeah, man.”

“Like, that was really cool, right? So many anime t-shirts—all stocked at one place!” I heard her voice from the other side of my smartphone.

“Yeah, man,” I moved my pen up from the notebook and turned my head to the book. I dragged it on top of the notebook toward me and started to read something in it.

“Anyway, I just did question twelve.”

“Huh? I’m at eleven, man.”

“What?! You, like, started about half an hour after me!”

I smiled again. “Ahahahhaa. Obviously, I’m better, man.”

“Whatever. Anyway, look at the twelfth question directly. You can skip some in the middle and no one’s gonna notice, you see.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yeah, really. Well, I’ve already skipped a couple in between, you see,” She told me happily. “Like, sir doesn’t really check all of them. He just ticks blindly.”

“Damn, man. You sure know a lot.”

“I’m not new here, you see. Hehe,” She chuckled.

I then turned my eyes—my smile fading away a little—downward at the book on top of my notebook and started to read the next question.

“Well, read the question.”

“I am,” I replied as I read the question from the book in my mind.

I then dragged my book away and started to write its answer in my notebook, maybe.

“Well, what do you think about it?” She asked. “Seems kinda tough.”

“Huh? No, man. It’s easy.”

“Yeah yeah, you gotta rub this on my face!”

I chuckled again. “Obviously, man. I gotta show off, after all!”

“Whatever. Anyway, tell me how it’s done, emo.”

“Uh, you just gotta use the third identity about the sum of sine and cosine, man.”

“Sine square theta plus cosine square theta equals one?”

“Yeah.”

“… How?”

I chuckled again. “Man, just add tangent to both the sides, open it in the form of sine theta upon cosine theta, and then take the LCM. Then, you would just use this identity and get the equation on the LHS. Thus, LHS equals RHS, hence proved.”

“Well, I understood nothing.”

“Huh? Damn, man! How else do I explain it to you?” I frowned as I turned to my phone.

“Well, do the question quickly and then send me the photo. Like, I’ll just blindly copy it down, you see.”

“Damn,” I turned to my notebook again and continued to solve the question. “Okay, man.”

I continued to vigorously write on the paper for a couple of seconds, for some reason. There was a little silence between the two of us as she waited for me to complete the question.

“You done?”

“Just… wait… a… Done!” I finally shouted as I turned to my phone and turned it on. “No doubt, you gotta do something about math, man. Or else, you’re gonna have a hard time in board exams.”

“Yeah yeah,” She replied back. “Just send it to me.”

“I am just opening your DM, man,” I replied as I clicked on her name and photo in between all the others on the DM tab of Campfire. The text messages in white text on top of the dark screen appeared. I then clicked on the little icon just beside the message box, clicked on the ‘Click Pic’ option, and the camera of my phone opened. I raised my arm a little up in my right hand and corrected the notebook from my left hand.

Click!

It went to her.

“Thanks.”

“Haha, welcome,” I replied back as I kept the phone back on where it was—on the right of my books.

“Anyway, how many questions are left?”

“Just a few more, man. Let’s complete the homework quickly.”

“Yeah, life sure is bittersweet, after all. Just about half an hour ago, I was depressed about my fight with Aaryan, and now, I was enjoying myself with Sana. I was really happy, man. What… is this life, man?”