Memories

As Mitsuru closed his eyes, laying on his sofa, his mind was still all over the place, pointing to one specific person; Aika. No matter what he tried; looking at his phone, staring outside the window, forcing himself to fall asleep, it still came back to the same topic. The obsession with her grew every second his mind remained in its current state. “It’s just temporary. It’s a one-night thing.” That’s what Mitsuru kept telling himself, hoping, trying to believe it as the truth.

Wandering around the living area, he took a glance at the photo he took with Chisato; her smile still giving off the same energy as he remembered. Looking at himself, he could see the same happiness that he always associated with her, but even then, he could never bring himself to find the same level of elation. As he stared into the photo, memories he shared slowly made its way in, ranging from the simplest interactions, to outings with her and other friends. Tears slowly built up in his eyes as he stood in reminiscence of the great times he had.

All of those tears always lead to the same thing. “Why couldn’t it have stayed the way it was before? Why… Why did it have to change???!” Mitsuru screamed in his mind. Tiny pearls of tears turned into streams down his cheeks. He raised his hands to cover his face, trying to hide the shame of crying. He is supposed to be a man after all, this sort of thing was expected to happen, and he shouldn’t be the one crying. He shouldn’t even cry in the first place as it shows his weakness; that he can’t handle such an event.

Mitsuru dragged his feet on the ground, producing an odd yet satisfying sound as his sole moved across. Tears still filled his eyes, unable to cope with the events that had unfolded all those times ago. He still couldn’t let it go. He still struggled. He felt like everything had been lost three long years ago, and he still shares that same feeling. Looking back, it was bittersweet. It brought the best memories he ever had, but the worst as well.

It was a cool spring day, the sakura petals had already begun falling; green started to appear in the trees the petals originated from. It was a wonderful sight to behold, even for residents. He walked through the front gate of his school. A slight breeze suddenly picked up from his left, causing petals to fly across and into him. One of the petals landed on his shoulder, which he swiftly shrugged off before making his way into the main building. The usual scenes took place; students chatting in the hallway, some entering their respective classrooms, others casually walking to undisclosed locations within their school. Mitsuru climbed to the third floor, entering his classroom; 1-C.

Walking in, everyone around him was chatting away; some old friends from elementary, some new friends. It was his first day of school. Due to his father getting a sudden, massive promotion at the company he worked at, he had two options; take a shinkansen from their old residence in kyoto to tokyo everyday, or relocate to the city. He chose option two. Unsurprisingly, Mitsuru wasn’t thrilled about it as he had to leave his elementary school friends behind for the big city. It was tough initially. They were moving from a comfortably sized home for three, to an apartment much smaller than before.

Mitsuru also never knew anyone in Tokyo, so he had to make friends from square one, which he hoped to do in school when it began once again.

Shuffling to his seat, he knew no one. He felt gazes from within the classroom, but they disappeared quickly. His usual, outgoing persona from elementary school was suddenly replaced with a brand new quiet personality. He was anxious, he felt awkward being in a new school, in another city, surrounded by new people. Looking to his left, the student next to him seemed to be in a similar situation as Mitsuru; new environment, new people. Deciding to break the ice, Mitsuru spoke out.

“Hey! My name is Mitsuru, nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

The student looked over. Though he was trying to hide it, he seemed a little annoyed. “Kenichi.”

Kenichi turned his head to face forward. Mitsuru felt like he was just left on read. Accepting defeat, he turned to the person on his right.

Same result. He was put down instantly. Accepting defeat, he would go on to talk to others, but results were all similar. No one was willing to accept him. Instead, they seemed to stick to their old friend groups, and Mitsuru was left out. Dejected, he walked back to his seat, feeling down, unable to socialise with anyone. Suddenly, he regretted entering this school and city. His enthusiasm faded. Over the next few days, he would try again with other classmates, but they treated him the same.

On Friday, he tried again, but he was again rejected. Finally deciding to give up, he just went and sat at his table, thinking about what went wrong. Suddenly, the door at the front slid open. Expecting the janitor to be there telling him to leave, he quickly packed up his back. Except, it wasn’t the janitor, it was one of his classmates. Mitsuru was shocked to see her enter the classroom. He expected her to have left school long ago, but here she was. The girl had also expected the classroom to be empty, but it clearly wasn’t. Quickly adapting to the situation, she blurted.

“I-If anyone comes asking if i was here, tell them no!” Without skipping a beat, she ran and hit in the cupboard at the back of the class. Confused, he wanted to ask why, but he could tell she was urgent, so he went with the flow. Slowly packing his bag, someone entered the classroom. Looking up, it was another student from this school, but not from his class. “Oh- Uhh… Is, did you happen to see a girl pass by here? Short hair, to roughly her shoulder height with a ribbon tied on her left side.” The passing student asked.

“Say that fits that girl’s appearance… Oh wait, that’s who she was referring to.” Remembering the task he had been assigned, he responded. “No I haven't, I've just been studying.” “I see, Thanks.” The boy left swiftly, still trying to look for the girl. By then, Mitsuru had finished packing his items and was ready to leave. But before that, he walked to the cupboard the girl was hiding in.

“Knock knock.” the metal of the cupboard rang. “The coast is clear. The guy left.” The cupboard door slowly opened, revealing the girl that had entered before. Keeping quiet, Mitsuru turned around and made his way out. “Hey! Thanks for covering me. What’s your name by the way?” Caught by surprise, Mitsuru turned around, and answered. “Mitsuru, Mitsuru Onada.”

“Mitsuru, Thanks. My name’s Chisato, Chisato Kobayashi.” “You're welcome.”

He turned to face the door, making his way out, leaving Chisato in the classroom.

“Wait, Mitsuru.” Chisato called out. Mitsuru stopped in his tracks, turning around to face her. “I uh… I may need you to cover me for the next few weeks the same way you did today. I-I’ll pay you back somehow though!” Chisato requested, slightly embarrassed, asking someone she only just learnt the name off a minute ago. “Oh uh, sure thing.” Mitsuru said in response, also in disbelief. This time, Mitsuru left the classroom and school.

Just as Chisato said, over the next week, she would pop into the classroom while Mitsuru sat around, executing the same strategy as last friday. Eventually, Mitsuru got curious why she was constantly hiding while the student trying to find Chisato gave up on trying to ask Mitsuru for directions. As the same stunt was being pulled off every two to three days, Mitsuru just couldn’t fathom why Chisato was avoiding him. “Why not just talk it out?” Mitsuru thought. SInce that person had stopped asking Mitsuru for directions, Chisato doesn’t necessarily have to stop by.

“What an odd girl…” Mitsuru thought to himself, looking at the cupboard Chisato was hiding in. The moment the coast was clear, Mitsuru did as the plan demanded, but this time there was a change. Instead of Chisato giving her thanks and walking off, Mitsuru stopped her.

“Hey Chisato, can I ask you something?” Mitsuru asked.

“Oh! Sure!” Chisato responded in her typical cheerful self. “Why do you choose to hide in the cupboard instead of talking to whoever is looking for you?” “Oh, him. I uh…” She was suddenly put under the spotlight. She didn’t think Mitsuru would ask such a question. He didn’t look like the kind of guy to be curious about other people’s situations, but she felt a little prepared for it. “Truth is… I really can’t stand him! He’s constantly pestering me, asking where I’m at, what I’m doing, and whatnot. I really, REALLY can’t stand it, so I'm ignoring him.”

“Wat.” Mitsuru’s brain paused. That was all that came to his mind. But he could understand the reasoning. “Is he your… B-” “NO!” Chisato cut him off before he could finish the word. “Jeez why do boys keep assuming that! It’s totally wrong.” Mitsuru felt that one. “Then why not tell him to stop? Instead of just running away from it.”

“Wow he’s really clueless.” Chisato thought to herself.

“I can’t.” “Why not?” “I don’t wanna talk to him.” “Bruh.” Mitsuru just stood there, extremely confused as to why Chisato was being the way she is, his patience falling the longer this goes. “So then, who is he to you? Or who are you to him?” Mitsuru asked again, this time hoping he’d get a straight answer. “He's been a close friend of mine since elementary school since our parents know each other. Like, we spent a lot of time together, but I really don’t… you know.., see him as boyfriend material. But he sees it completely differently from what I see.” “I see. Why not just tell him to stop pestering you? Or ask your parents to tell his parents to get him to stop?”

“I-” Chisato’s blood started to boil, and so did Mitsuru’s. They both felt like they were talking to a wall. Mitsuru could sense that Chisato was starting to get ticked off, so he conceded. “Or I could talk to him for you if you want. Tell him to stop pestering you and such.”

“Really?” Chisato’s eyes lit up.

“Yea. I’m open to it.” Mitsuru replied.

“Wait… Then he’ll get the impression that we’re secretly in a relationship, especially if you’re the one telling him.” “I’ll just tell him that you wanted me to tell him that. Hopefully he’ll understand.” “Yea do that. Thanks.” Chisato blushed a little.”Say Mitsuru, you don’t seem like a bad person at all, quite the opposite. But yet you’re always alone in class.” “Oh, I did try and make some friends, but I just got ghosted, so I accepted it.” “Don’t you feel left out?” “Kinda, but I really don’t feel all that concerned about it.” “Well, if it helps, I don’t mind being your first friend. BUT NOT GIRLFRIEND.”

“Yea yea got it. Just friends.” Chisato smiled. “Well then, thank you, Mitsuru. I’ll be off now, see ya!” She jogged off excitedly. Mitsuru just stood there in the room silently, processing what just happened. “Seems like I just scored a goal.” Mitsuru smiled a little.

Sunlight suddenly entered Mitsuru’s eyes, forcing him to move. As he got up and looked around, he realised he had been at home the whole time. Looking at his phone, it was already 10:32am. Feeling defeated, he reluctantly got up off the sofa to get himself breakfast; a simple rice ball from the convenience store. “Say, why was I sleeping on the sofa instead of my bed? Oh yea, Aika’s here. I should check on her.” Grabbing his rice ball, he walked towards his room, opening the door to check.

Vacant. The bed was made just like how Mitsuru usually did. “Man, did I really just opt to sleep on the sofa instead of my bed? I swear I let Aika sleep here last night.”

Clueless to him, he didn’t misremember letting Aika in. She was here, and she did sleep on Mitsuru’s bed, it’s just that she had already left.