Chapter 17: An imminent death is the best psychologist.

“I can’t do it. I can’t do it,” I say, quickly getting back to the safety of the cavern´s floor.

For some strange reason, I can’t let go of the rope.

“Please. Rin. I was about to ask you why!” Ellie jokes.

“I also want to know why!” Jern says from the distance.

I want to scream shut up at them, but I’m hyperventilating, so there’s little I can say other than “Hooo!” or “Haaaa!” violently.

My head is spinning. Who was the brilliant mind that thought that a magical test about rebonding was a good idea?! When did I agree to this? I won’t let Ellie see me this vulnerable. I don’t want to reveal my inner regrets in life. No way! I’m sure Rulm can give me a job. Cleaning the springs for the rest of my life. That doesn’t sound bad! I’ll be able to have good food and good company. Who wants to go back to the Earth? such an overrated piece of rock!

“Rin. Rin! Come back with me!” Ellie shouts, shaking me like a fancy drink. “You need to breathe!”

It’s so easy to say that when you’re not hyperventilating!

“Do as I. Breathe in. Breathe out,” Ellie patiently says while she takes deep breaths of air.

“HOOOOO!” I pant. “HAAA!”

This isn’t working.

“Rin. If you don’t start calming down, I’m gonna have to reset your respiratory system by hitting you in the guts,” Ellie warns.

“N-o-o-oh” I manage to articulate. The threat is even less helpful. “Hooo. Haaa!”

“Okay, okay. That might have been too much,” Ellie says, still trying the respiration thing. “If getting back home is not enough for you to do it. Then, think about someone else. Like Ignis, she wants to meet her friends again. Or your mom! She definitely wants to see you back home.”

Mom. I think about her warm hugs. The uncountable times she comforted me when I was like this. The way she always forces me to peck her on the cheek before I leave.

I start calming down. My breathing is steading.

“And let’s not ignore the fact that I need you,” Ellie says, looking me in the eyes. I stop breathing. “I need your help to go back home. I want to go back home. I want to see my dad again. Could you be the bravest adventurer in this unknown world and help me?”

I don’t think Ellie might like the idea of spending the rest of her life working at the springs.

The whiling thoughts start flying away. My agitated breathing diminishes even more.

“We might have gone too far with that first revelation. What if there are other ways to rebond that work with the rope,” Ellie says, helping me stand up. “Remember that school trip back in the first year of high school?”

“I do,” I say as Ellie takes me closer to the bridge.

“Remember that someone jammed my room’s toilet, and all my friends blamed Homura?” Ellie says.

“A hotel staff had to fix the situation,” I say, giggling a little.

“Well. It was actually me,” Ellie declares, blushing. “Too many osenbei in one day!”

I laugh hard. “No way it was you!”

The rope starts intensely glowing blue.

“It was me,” Ellie says. “Now, let’s go!”

I didn’t notice when I stopped panting, but after Ellie's reveal, I felt lighter. I place my feet on the bridge, tense the rope, and start moving. The glow in the rope starts diminishing. I better say something quickly.

“I started working at the conbini because I wanted to save some money to travel the world,” I say as we keep sliding our feet. “When I worked in America, I lost someone I cared a lot for. Her name was Maggie. It was a car accident. I cried for days. Cursing at why the world would take away such a good person, someone with so much to give.”

“That should’ve been really hard, Rin. I’m so sorry for your loss,” Ellie says.

“I realized how short life can be, and I’ve spent so much time of mine only studying to be the best. The best for what!?” I say, getting teary eyes. “After that, I fell into depression, and the only job I was able to land was at the conbini, But deep under that depression was the idea of saving enough money to travel the world. To start having fun. To stop caring about being the scholarship kid that must prove to everyone that I’m as good as them.”

I want to clean the tears in my face, but I can’t because that would kill us.

“Well. Mama’s party was just the beginning,” Ellie says, mischievously giggling. “Once back home, I’ll be happy to invite you to some parties,”

I look at the bridge, and we're halfway in.

“Back in the second year of middle school,” Ellie says. “I remember thinking that you looked so cool with your head shaved.”

“Seriously?” I ask. “I thought I looked like an egg.!”

“You looked edgy,” Ellie says, smiling.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

“Because you would only talk to Masa and Aki!” Ellie recalls.

“That’s true,” I say, ashamed.

The rope starts turning yellow. I look at Ellie’s worried face. I have to spill more tea. We start moving faster, the island is still a few meters away.

“I stopped talking to you in middle school because I didn’t want people to start gossiping about us,” I say.

“Huh?” Ellie utters.

“You know how everyone is in middle school. You exchange a few words with a girl, and you’re basically dating. I thought you would get upset if that happened.” I say.

“And you decided that on your own?! Without thinking about how I would feel?” Ellie snaps at me. “ I thought you hated me!”

“Then why didn’t you talk to me either?” I ask.

“Because you wouldn’t even look at me at school, and you stopped coming after school,” Ellie says.

“Please, Ellie. It was middle school. I wanted to start walking home. And people would talk,” I say.

“I didn’t care about what people would say. I wanted my friend!” Ellie says. “Why do you care so much about what people say?”

“Because my dad is not a millionaire! I was afraid of not being good enough to be your friend!” I say.

“Oh! Please, Rin. Love yourself a little!” Ellie says.

“Guys, the rope!” Jern shouts from the other side of the cliff.

We look down. The rope is turning red.

“Jump!” I scream.

We’re a meter away from the island, so i manage to land easily, but Ellie is carrying two backpacks of extra weight.

I manage to grab her hand as she slips down the edge of the island. I pull her with all my strength back to safe ground.

We lay on the ground, panting. That was a close one.

“I’m so stupid,” I blame myself.

“I mean. We both were stupid. We were teens,” Ellie says.

We stay there for an awkward moment.

“I’m sorry for not being the friend you needed,” I say

“I'm sorry for not being the friend you needed either,” Ellie says.

The rope starts glowing blue again.

We stand up and start walking to the center of the island, where a shining piece of metal lies on top of a rock pedestal.

“Where is that supposed to go?” Ellie asks.

The piece of metal is a disc with intricate patterns that swirl upwards and a little pivot going downwards.

“I have no idea,” I answer.

“Well. i guess it’s time to go back,” Ellie says.

I take the weird piece of metal, put it in my backpack, and go back to the bridge.

“Are you ready?” Ellie asks as we accommodate for the way back.

“I’m ready,” I say, even though I’m not really ready for what’s to be revealed next.