One-Way

Kritvik Bhatt

“A couple more days passed after that, and then… and then came the day of math exam, man.”

The sun was shining brightly over the horizon. There were some clouds in the sky, for some reason, but the day seemed sunny, man. The apartments too were shining because of the bright sun and shining blue sky. The cars standing in front of the apartments on the street, the electric poles, and all that stuff seemed to be shining, for some reason.

In the middle of the street walked me, obviously, in my dark blue coat over all-white uniform, and a relatively thinner black bag on my back. I had my hands inside the pockets of my pants and I was smiling a little. “Damn, man. It seems like a really good day, after all!”

I, for some reason, suddenly remembered Sana’s message on her Campfire DM. ‘Sorry! Well, I was playing Jenshin with Daksh, you see. Just got free from it and looked at your message!’

My smile flattened a little for a second, and then curved into a smile again. “She and Daksh are really enjoying a lot together, man.”

“To be brutally honest with myself, I was really feeling jealous of that guy. Yeah, somewhere in my mind, I knew that no doubt—that she trusted me more. But… But still, my heart was a little restless, man.”

Thump!

It seemed like something had hit my chest, for some reason. I moved my right hand up and clenched it in front of my chest.

“Damn, man. Why do I always feel off with my chest when I see her with Daksh?”

“Jealousy.”

“Did you really forget that I went to JenCon with you?”

I turned my head rightward, and with that fake smile of mine, I looked at the illusion of Sana walking by my side in the same uniform as me.

She turned her eyes to me and jerked her eyebrows up.

I turned my head frontward. “Man, you’re nothing but a figment of my imagination. Just go away.”

“Not until you answer my question, you see.”

“Being just as stubborn as the real Sana, huh?”

“Well, you know her a lot,” She replied as she turned her eyes frontward. “Now, answer the question.”

“What question?”

“Did you really forget that I went to JenCon with you?”

“… No, I didn’t.”

“Why do you think I didn’t call Daksh in or just went with him, knowing that he’s just as Jenshin freak as me?”

I gulped in.

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. My footsteps echoed in the silence.

I didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Then, I nodded. “Yeah…”

The next second, she was not beside me anymore, for some reason.

“Even though I am just imagining all this stuff, what she is saying is really… something to think about, maybe. Man, she… she really trusts me, maybe. Even though, for the time being, she’s with Daksh. She… is just her friend, after all. Just like me.” I then turned my head down. “Man, I’m so… damn miserable… for some reason. All I do every day is overthink about her. Even though… I’m just a damn loser who doesn’t want to confess his feelings to her… so as to not lose this friendship and bond that I got with her.”

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.

“Maybe, I’d have to confess my feelings to her… one day or the other.”

“Like, obviously, you’d have to.”

The sunlight suddenly went away, for some reason, and the atmosphere turned a little darker. I turned my head skyward, and noticed a cloud that had flowed in and covered the sun.

“After all, it’s not sunny every time. You obviously gotta see the dark days, huh?”

“And that has been really true for my life, man. Some days were happy, some sad. Some were both too, obviously. Life is bittersweet, after all.”

“… I should focus on my studies, my life, and other stuff like that. I should not get involved with girls. After all, I got a lot more things to focus on.”

I then turned my head frontward. “No doubt, I gotta get Sana out of my mind somehow.” I then frowned.

“But… how?”

I nodded.

“After all, this feeling… is just so natural to me. It’s not that I want them in the first place. I can’t really control these feelings, these emotions, these… these thoughts of mine, obviously.”

I closed my eyes for a second, inhaled in a deep breath, exhaled out, and then opened my eyes again. “After all, I gotta try first.”

***

The corridors of the school were filled with students walking here and there and chatting, for some reason. The windows on the left of the corridor showed the dark sky. After all, the sun was still not out of that cloud, so the place still seemed a little gloomy, man.

Beneath that crowd and indistinct chatter stood Sana and me. We were beside each other, with our backs toward the windows.

“Yeah, I finally got that question after, like, seven tries.”

“Damn, really? For some reason, I still can’t get it.”

“What? Really? Well, when I was finally able to do it, I thought that it was not that tough, you see. Want me to explain it to you?”

“Nah. Leave it,” I said with a smile as I turned my head frontward.

“Ahahaha,” she laughed as she turned her head frontward. “Well, I never really thought that you were the type of guy who’d say something like that.”

“Man, I’m not, but I just don’t want to talk about math. I’m tired of repeating the same syllabus again and again. I’m bored of it now.”

“Yeah, you’re bored of repeating the same syllabus, and I’m still not able to get my head over a few things, you see,” She said with a smile.

“Don’t worry. You can ask me for help anytime, after all,” I replied, smiling.

“Yeah yeah.”

Suddenly, I noticed the sunrays getting in. The atmosphere was turning bright again, just like before, no doubt.

I turned my head backward.

“What?” She asked.

“The cloud is gone, man.”

“That’s sad, K. Like, I really liked it that way, you see,” She said as she turned her head backward.

We both then turned to each other. “But I like sun.”

“And, I don’t,” She smiled. “Like, why do you even like this sunlight? It becomes so sweaty.”

“Yeah, but if it’s not sunny, I feel a little gloomy,” I smiled back.

“Are… Are you a plant? You do photosynthesis?”

I chuckled as I turned my head frontward. “Maybe.”

“That’s sad,” She chuckled. “Anyway, you should somehow join us too, you see.”

“Huh? Join who? And for what?” I turned to her again.

She smiled as she said, “Well, Daksh and I have been playing Jenshin a lot over the past few days, you see. You should join us too someday.”

“Man, I can’t,” I turned my smiling face frontward, where stood a door to a classroom. “After all, poverty…”

“Yeah yeah, but you can still try for once, K.”

“I don’t have a phone which is compatible with it, for some reason. Maybe my parents don’t really like newer phones.”

“Well, your laptop too won’t be able to take the load of a huge game, you said.”

“Yeah,” I nodded as I turned to her again and glared straight into her eyes. “Maybe if my parents decide to buy a new phone, and by chance, it’s compatible with the game, then I’d surely join you two. Obviously, I wanna play that game too—especially after I’ve read that manga.”

“Yeah. When you read the manga, you can’t really wait to play the ga—”

“Sana!” A masculine voice shouted her name as both of us turned leftward to where the shout had come from. It was, obviously, Daksh. He was waving his right hand up, with his left hand inside the pocket of his pants. He was grinning too, for some reason. He walked to us and stood right in front of her. He, firstly, corrected his spectacles, and then said, “Hey.”

“Daksh, what’s up?” Sana replied excitedly with a smile, man.

“Fine, as always. So, are you ready for the math exam?”

“Yeah. I don’t come unprepared, you see.”

“Yeah, pal. I guess.” He then suddenly turned to his right at me and raised his hand at me for a handshake. “Hey, Kritvik.”

I smiled a little as I shook his hand. “Hi, man.”

“So, uh, what are both of you doing here, by the way?” He said as he suddenly moved his hand away and turned to her.

“Well, we were just talking. Like, what else do you think we would be doing?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“We were just talking about Jenshin.”

“The hell? I wanna—”

“Don’t get too excited about it just yet, you see.” She then turned to me. “K doesn’t really have a device to play Jenshin on, but he badly wants to play. Any recommendations?”

He shrugged. “Buy a new device then.” He then turned to me and said, “Just buy a new smartphone, pal.”

“If it were in my hands, then why do you think I’d be discussing this problem, huh?” I asked him.

“Whatever,” Sana said. “You know both of us have the same exam room?”

“Huh? Really?” I asked her as I frowned again.

“Yeah,” She said with a smile.

I smiled too, man.

“Now, I’ll be able to pass easily! And, he’s gonna make me pass.” She then turned to Daksh, and so did I.

“The hell? See, I don’t know how to cheat, okay? I won’t—”

“Well, when did I say you have a chance to choose?”

I chuckled a little.

Daksh continued to silently glare at her for a few seconds. He then said, “P-Pal, no.”

She nodded with that smile of hers. “Yes.”

“… No.”

“Yes!”

“Okay!” He shrugged. “Alright. But hear me out. Only MCQs. I don’t think I can help you more.”

“Like, it’s enough. How would you be giving answers to others anyway?”

“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say, pal.”

The clouds must have covered the sun again, since the sunlight quickly faded away and the day became gloomy again for some reason.

I just stood there silently, looking at her, and then at Daksh, as both of them took turns speaking.

“Anyway, what level are you on now?”

“I guess that when we ended playing yesterday night, I was somewhere in the seventies.”

She smiled. “Well, I said that I’d make you level up at least ten levels.”

“Yeah, pal. We played too much yesterday. I’m still feeling sleepy.”

“Cringe. I never feel sleepy.”

“The hell, pal? Really?”

She nodded.

“Technically, it’s good that you don’t feel sleepy even after sleeping at two and waking up at seven or eight, but… still…”

“Don’t worry, haha!”

“D-Damn, man,” I said in between.

“Anyway, how many gems do you have now? We’ll need one-seventy to open the mystery box, right?”

“And, for some reason, I got completely ignored, man.”

“I guess we still need seventy-eighty more.”

“Well, it’s tough to get more gems now. We explored every place filled with gems that I knew of, you see.”

“See, we can use internet and try out some more places.”

“Yeah, but it’s no fun to use internet, you see.”

“Technically, yes.”

Triiing! Triiing! Triiing!

Finally, it was the exam time. Everyone started moving here and there, obviously.

Sana then suddenly turned to me and said, “Well, let’s meet after the exam, then.”

I smiled a little. “Alright.” I then turned to the classroom at the front and started to walk in. I moved my right hand out and pulled the strap of my bag hanging on my right shoulder. There were a couple of girls walking inside the door, so I stood for a second, and, for some reason, I turned my head rightward.

I glared at the backs of the two of them laughing and chatting as they walked beside each other… walking away from me.

I gulped in. “Yeah, we’re just friends, after all. I gotta stop overthinking, obviously.”

“That was the thing with her, man. Sometimes, she’d show me that she was so close to me, but… but sometimes, I’d feel that she doesn’t even remember that I exist, for some reason. Sometimes, she made me feel that it’s both ways, man, but sometimes, I felt like it’s just one-way, after all.”

I then turned my head to the front, my smile faded away, as I started to walk in.

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.

“Maybe… this love story is nothing but just a story… a story that I made up myself, after all.”