The Lush Tree of Autumn

October arrived like it always did. Discreet, at first. Green leaves lost their spark, the sidewalks turned dark from early morning rain. The days were still sunny. But without a jacket, people were unprepared for that sudden mistral that closed on your bare throat. 

And then, all of a sudden, you were ankle deep in dead leaves that stuck to your wet soles. And a jacket was of little help when you woke up and your breadth turned to smoke. 

Halloween was only a few weeks away. The grey sky seeped in Conan's apartment, creating a cold, bleak light. Sassara closed some curtains, and lit a few lamps.  Their warm lights pushed away the Autumn gloom. On the kitchen counter, two wet, heavy bags of groceries. She had caught a flash of rain on her way to his.

ACHOOM!

She jumped, a hand on her heart. "Jesus when you sneeze it's like you're getting tortured." 

Conan appeared in the living room. With slippers, and a heavy dressing gown wrapped around him. "That's how I keep you on your toes," he said with a smirk. He opened his arms. "Hello beautiful."

She smiled, hurried to him, and kissed him on the cheek. His skin burned against her lips."How do you feel?"

"Much better. I'll work a bit."

She laughed. "Oh that is such a big lie. You're still burning. Rest. Otherwise what's the point in missing judo?"

"But I can't I still have my economics paper to tweak for Monday."

"Well you have the whole weekend to work on it. But you know yourself best." She went to the kitchen, and started unpacking groceries. "You can work on the couch. I'll make something warm."

He took his computer, a big plaid, and sat in one of the big armchairs to face Sassara. "Thank you."

She chuckled. "No worries." 

"How were things at school?"

Sassara turned the kettle on. "Good, Zyra and Lance got scolded by Miss Ms. Jones because they were holding hands in the corridor. Can you believe it?"

"What?" He scoffed. "That is so unfair! There's people eating their faces off in the bathroom!"

"Ali laughed so hard he almost peed himself." The kettle whistled.

"Not surprised. That guy has the tiniest bladder." She turned, waiting for the story. He threw his hands up. "That's all I can say." 

Conan would tell her one day. But for now he still had to keep Ali and Marco in his good graces.  Conan tried as well as he could to split his time between Sassara, the guys, and when they hung out as a group. Sassara made it easy though. She loved sleepovers with Zyra. Marco and Ali might have still been sour against him, who knows. But they liked Sassara, and treated her well. That is what mattered to him.

She filled two large tea cups, and sat on the couch. Conan got up from the armchair, and sat next to her. He took the time to lay his plaid on her lap as well. "Thank you," she said, and snuggled against him. 

He abandoned his computer, and pulled Sassara in his arms. 

After all, he couldn't work. He was sick. Yes.

He breathed her in. She smelled of rain, and warmth. He exhaled, feeling drowsy. Sassara giggled and shifted against him. 

"You're tickling my neck."

"I am?" He blew air again and she squirmed. Tried to get away but he kept her preciously locked in his arms. She shrieked. It was a lost cause. 

Conan may have been sick. But he felt more alive now than when he was healthy and without her. More than a month had passed since their embrace in the lake. And as agreed on that moonlit night, they learned about each other. About their failings and principles. They learned to rely on each other. To trust each other. It was wonderful.

But there was one brown leaf in that lush tree. 

Still no first kiss.

It was Conan's fault. No, not fault. Sassara would have used the word 'choice'. Oh he wanted to. Every day. But something always held him back. Like if there was always something wrong with the place, the people, or himself. 

Sassara had reassured him. She knew the time would eventually come. They weren't like Zyra and Lance yet, who affirmed their couple status with much more scandalous PDA than holding hands. But they would get there. 

"I need to be healed by tomorrow. I don't want to be blowing my nose at diner."

She took a second to answer, fiddling with the seam of the plaid. "Are you sure it's ok for me to come?"

"Yes-uh." He kissed her temple. "Fiona loves you. And I know my siblings will too."

Recently, Fiona spent more time at home. This morning she had came to check his health. She had also changed his sweaty bedsheets. When Conan had told her about Sassara, she had been happy for him. But her eyes still doubted. One afternoon, Fiona had arrived  while Sassara was there. After some chatting, she had won his mother's approval. 

Since then, the three of them sometimes played UNO. It wasn't much compared to the afternoon-long Monopolies he played with Sassara's family. But for Fiona, UNO was basically luna park. 

A ringtone shattered their peace. Sassara looked at Conan with watchful eyes.

He nodded. She laid on him again, this time with her head on his lap. Their fingers interlocked together. He picked up, and put the call on speaker.

"Good afternoon Conan. How are you?"

"Good afternoon Emilio. I'm good."

"Good. Good." His father paused. "Conan. I acknowledge that I haven't reimbursed you yet for the dentist appointment. Thank you for being so understanding. I am calling you because your brother has not returned my calls. I wondered if you had news of him?"

"He came back from a hike in Savoy," Conan said. He felt Emilio was close to spitting it out. "Did you need anything else?"

"Ah. Well, while we're at it. I wondered. Could you ask Fiona if she still has some old bill statements from our summer house?"

"You mean, your summer house?"

Emilio laughed. 

"Why do you need old utility bills," Conan said.

"To compare costs. The gas bill is soaring. There might be something wrong with the heating. We might have to repair it and in this case, I might need Fiona's help. After all, this is our one and only summer house."

"But didn't you call someone to fix it a month ago? So it would be ready for winter?"

"Where did you hear that?"

"Orla told me."

"Oh! How is Orla?"

Oh yeah. Now you talk about Orla.

"She's great. This September, Orla and William were in the French Riviera to scout properties. They passed by the house, and found the repair guy."

"Ah, so you have been talking more to your siblings then. Good for you."

"Yes. So, seeing as you already fixed the heating, can we agree that you do not need Fiona's old utility bills?"

Again, he laughed, and Conan closed his eyes. Dammit. It was like if this was all a funny joke to him. Like if he did not even care that Conan had caught him in the lie. He floated above. The irreproachable God that floated above them all. 

Sassara squeezed his free hand two times. Like a little knock knock on his heart. He breathed, looked at her, and smiled.

"Anyway. On our side, everyone is doing very well. It was good to hear from you."

"It was good to hear from you too, son."

"And don't worry about the dentist's money. You can keep it. To fix the heating."

Conan hung up.

They high fived a couple of times. "Your last comment was perfect!" She imitated him with a deep voice, "Keep the change for the heating."

"What is this voice? Do you see me as a cowboy?"

"You'd make a great cowboy."

"A sexy one?"

"Hell yeah."

Usually, when he hung up with Emilio, Conan felt as if he was covered in thick swamp muck. Unable to wash off. This time he felt as neat as a pin. 

"See? What you needed to face your dad is to have a united front with Rian and Orla." She caressed his chin, played with his stubble. "They might've run from Emilio, but they love their little brother."

He nodded. His throat tightened. He could not help it. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. 

"Plus, if Emilio hadn't ran off after his mistress, we would've never met."

"Well, we would've."

"Yeah but, you wouldn't be the hero who brought back my boogie."

That's right. He looked outside the window at the grey sky, wondered where his Dad was, and thanked him for being who he was. 

He had given him some good things too.