Alone

 When Paltar awoke, he was all alone. Above him, the sky was the same unfeeling blue he remembered from their fight.

"Nanna?"

He called to his friend, but she didn't answer. She didn't even poke or playfully bite him.
And that was when he realized that something was wrong.

"Hey, Nanna?"

Of course, she could be doing something, like finding some food for them. But still, a pit of darkness wrapped itself around his stomach, making it hard to breathe. He shouldn't worry, not if he didn't know what was going on. Slowly, he stood up and tried to look around. He was still in the thorny hideout he remembered. Around him, he heard some animal sounds, though he couldn't see them. It was peaceful. Too peaceful.

With a sigh, he looked around. Where was Nanna? But instead of her, his eyes fell on his bag, where the remains of her little dress were poking out. He opened it and looked at its contents. The dress was barely held together by a few seams, and yet, the remains were folded neatly in a way she could have never done with her wings. She had even put down her head bow, which had survived the worst. A single feather rested on it. But there was no trace of Nanna, or even the original dress. 

What had happened here? Why was she gone?

"Nanna? Nanna, answer me!"

This was bad. At least, he couldn't see any blood on the ground around him. Where had she gone?

"Nanna, this isn't funny!"

This wasn't the kind of joke she would make. This was wrong.

"Nanna!"

There was no other thought in his head. Only Nanna. She was his only friend, the one who understood him... the one who loved his clothes, who laughed with him, who teased him, who made it so easy for him to be himself around her. And now he felt an emptiness inside that made him want to throw up. Instead, he choked back a sob.

"Nanna!"

It didn't work. Paltar didn't care if it attracted other griffins like the one they had fought. He had to find Nanna, and quickly. Without further hesitation, he stuffed the dress back into his bag and stood up. There was a growl in his stomach, but he ignored it. He had to find Nanna! Only the feather remained in his hand, and he gripped it tightly.

"Nanna?"

There was no answer, and its absence rang loudly in his ears. How could he have been so careless? Why did he have to faint? He looked down at his arms, cursing the whole time.
Only then did he notice that the scratches were gone. No, not just the scratches—there was no hollow pain in his side, or his head, or anywhere else in his body. Instead, he was he best rested in years—he felt energized and refreshed. He should be happy.

Instead, only one thought crossed his mind.

"Nanna! What have you done?!"

She couldn't have healed him. Not with her wings. Not with her beak. There was no way she could heal him as a goose. There was no way she could fold a dress. Why did she leave everything behind?

"Nanna!"

She did not answer. Her name rang out over the vines, and the sky remained unchanged. Still, Paltar felt sick. This was all wrong!

Wasn't he here to help her? And now he was the one who had to be saved. And whatever Nanna had done...

"Come back, Nanna!"

He just clutched the feather tighter. Maybe she was all right, he tried to convince himself. Maybe she had somehow gotten rid of the curse and healed him. And now it was his turn again, to be left behind. Always missing. It wouldn't be the first time.

But somehow, it hurt so much more.

When Satsuki broke up with him, his hopes were shattered. This time, he never had any hopes at all. Nanna was a friend he cherished, not a girl to crush on. A future together, sure, as her royal tailor, nothing more. As a princess, she made it clear that there were things she couldn't do.

And yet.

And yet.

Hope was a tricky thing. Without his knowledge, it had wormed its way into his heart. He hadn't noticed, not until now. But now that she was gone, he felt not only the emptiness inside him, but a pain much worse than that. He missed her. He missed what they had.

And he missed all the things he couldn't tell her.

He was a coward. He had always been a coward, relying on her—on Satsuki, on Nanna—to tell him what to do, what to feel. Never overstepping. Always holding back.

And where had that gotten him?

Stranded, all alone, with only his imagination of what could have happened to Nanna.
"I should have told you…"

It was easy to say now that she was gone, even if it was true. He should have realized it sooner. And all because he had been careless. If he hadn’t gotten hurt... but then it would have been even worse if Nanna had would have been the one to shoulder this pain. No, this was his burden. He just wished that she wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

"Ah..." he let out a trembling sob.

He didn't want to cry, even if Nanna wasn't there. In the palm of his hand, he felt something crack and break. When he forced himself to open his hand, he saw the feather, broken and crushed.

"No..."

Of course. He had to break everything good that had ever happened to him. This wasn't the way. He couldn't go on like this. He had to do something!

"Nanna!"

"She won't answer, tailor."

Reod's voice was something so unexpected that Paltar jumped.

"You...!"

"Easy, easy," Reod replied.

"It was heartbreaking to see you crying and wallowing in your grief," he said with a smile on his face.

Paltar had never been so close to striking someone. He clenched his fist, his whole arm shaking.

"Ah!" Reod danced in the air. "But you two! Star-crossed lovers, a story for the ages!"

"We're not—"

"That's what she said, too."

Reod grinned at Paltar.

"But you feel different, don't you?"

Paltar took a shaky breath.

"What do you want?" he hissed.

"Don't you want to see her again?"