CHAPTER 3.5: AN ARDENT FAN OF THE ELF SAINT

***The Dupree Palace…***

While the celebrations honoring the Elf Saint’s ‘return’ was over, her adoring fans hadn’t forgotten her cosplay performances, and would always send her letters. Every day, the mailman would deliver cartloads of folded papers, most were made of fancy materials and decorated with laces, ribbons and some even had drawings of the characters she cosplayed with it. And every day, the Lady Hinwe would read those letters, keeping those in her cabinet she had made for that very purpose.

“Looks like another letter sending you money?” Kuro asked when she pulled one filled with coins.

“I think it does,” the Elf Saint then counted, “these amounted to 50 bronze coins. Isn’t that an entire wage of a worker for a day?”

“Yes, it is,” the duke answered, quite weirded out by the revelation. “What does the letter say?”

“Dear Your—oh, the ‘Your’ is written-off here. It’s written more like, ‘Dear My Holiness’…”

“That’s a freaking red flag!”

“…” the saint gave him a blank stare. Kuro gestured for her to go on reading the rest, which the Lady Hinwe did. “In all my life as a blacksmith, I wondered if there will ever come the time when my sufferings will be eased, and my lonely heart will be filled with hope once again. I searched for romance, far and wide. From Chersea to Cherwind, even as far deep as the demon republic. Yet, for some reason, my quest is a failure.”

“Wow…that’s some hardcore simping.”

“Shut up!” the Elf Saint retorted, and a nasty smirk appeared on her lips. “At least, try to understand this person’s situation; he’s looking for his love. As for you, ladies are throwing themselves and you still got the gall to reject their advances.”

That ‘slapped’ Kuro in the face. He fell silent for a while…

“Anyway, continuing on,” she took a deep breath before reading the rest. “I was unhappy. Unfulfilled. Until, I heard of an event called ‘Cosplay Festival’ at the Holy Palatial Gardens. At first, I didn’t want to go, but my friends asked me to come with them. Now I’m glad I did, for I saw a beautiful goddess descend upon my very eyes…I was left speechless for some time. And then, I realized, it was you…My Holiness…that gave me hope that I’ll find my true love. Now, I’m sure of it…it is you. Love, Hans the Blacksmith…”

Awkward silence filled the room, as the Lady Hinwe folded the letter once again, and set the money that was sent along with it. Kuro was nodding…though he had no words to say.

“What’s with the money?” she finally asked.

“He thinks he can sway your heart with it.”

“Now I know why his ‘lady’ won’t answer him yes.”

“Well…you’ll receive letters even more awkward than that,” Kuro chuckled, as he sipped his coffee.

“Please don’t jinx me,” Her Lazy Holiness replied. Then, she pulled another letter from the fresh pile and opened it. “Dear Lady Hinwe. I’ll get straight to the point. I love you. I’m hot and handsome. And I want you as my partner. Written below is my address. Let’s have sex—”

“Pfft!” the duke couldn’t help but to spit his coffee out.

“W-Well, th-that’s a p-pretty direct one…” the Elf Saint’s face was red. “I surely didn’t expect that.”

“Who’s the sender?”

“Some guy named Chad. And his address is in the demon republic.”

“Figures. Prolly some horny demon guy. And the name really fits the bill.”

“I’m amazed that we both got same opinions,” the Lady Hinwe pointed out.

“You probably got soaked in memes, that’s why.”

In any case, the Elf Saint took another letter and opened it. Then, she fell silent for some time.

“What happened?”

“Err…” the Lady Hinwe then showed Kuro the letter. He was creeped out by what he saw: words made out from cut-out letters from newspapers and magazines formed the message from one of the Elf Saint’s admirers. While the letter expressed praise and admiration to Her Lazy Holiness’ cosplay performance and her unparalleled beauty as an elf, both of them couldn’t help but think it felt more like a death threat than a fan correspondence.

“You got some weird-ass fans out there, Your Holiness,” Kuro quipped.

The Elf Saint could only let out a nervous laugh.

----------

Well, in any case, the Duke of Maverny increased the security of the palace. The Dupree estate was huge; it’s not easy to keep watch on the entire place at once. So, Kuro thought of asking the Paladin Corps for some advice on where to look for more guards.

“Eh? Her Holiness told us to be in-charge of your security, milord,” the Lady Henristone said to him. “She didn’t want to entrust your safety to someone else.”

“Oh…well, it’s not really for me,” Kuro explained. “See, with the sudden surge of the Lady Hinwe’s popularity, there are…well, some weirdos sending her letters that kind of exceeds the expectations from a normal admirer.”

“You mean crazy stalkers?” the paladin captain confirmed.

“Yep.”

“Figures. The Lady Hinwe is beautiful, after all. I mean, all elves are…but, she’s of another league.”

Listening to her, Kuro could only hold his laughs. If they only know of how lazy and sleazy that saint is, he thought. Nevertheless, seeing that they were going off-topic, he asked again, “So, milady, can you help me in recruiting more guards in my palace?”

“I’ll send another squad of paladin to bolster your security, milord. I’m sorry; I know you don’t want Her Holiness using her own army to secure your place, but I have my orders as well. Besides, the ladies also would like to serve their beloved saint and her legendary hero. Please don’t take that privilege from them.”

“Riiight,” Kuro nodded. Deep inside, he still couldn’t believe that his name got lots of ‘weight’ unto it that nobles (especially in the Paladin Guards) would find it great honor to serve his household, alongside the Human Saint.

----------

And so, with the new squad of paladins added to the security of the Dupree Palace, everything went on as usual. Kuro, as he took on the problems and proposal regarding his invasion, would lock himself in his library for hours, checking and reading the reports. Eris, who took the responsibility of being his chamberlain, would help him sometimes, though her workplace was in the kitchen and the hallways of the palace. Meanor, for her part, would lend a hand if she’s not busy with the Lady Hinwe. And the Elf Saint herself would go around to breathe in fresh air, after she took a break from drawing, or sleeping.

The routine would last the entire day. Then, once the long sleep arrived, the four residents of the Dupree palace would head to bed, as the paladins on duty for those hours took their shifts.

“…”

However, for some reason, Kuro couldn’t sleep at that moment. Maybe it was the matters of the invasion that was keeping him awake, though for all that he knew, those were already rectified. He was not worried either, so it puzzled him that he couldn’t get a sleep. Nevertheless, he did go through similar situations in the past. His sleepiness was gone, and there’s nothing else to do…or worry about. Just plain, old nothingness in his mind.

“…”

Getting up from his bed, the duke thought that maybe changing his sleeping habits could do the trick. So, he went to a chair by the window, and opened its curtains. The cool Chersean breeze immediately greeted him as he felt its gentle caress…

And then his happy moment was rudely interrupted.

“!!!”

From his window, Kuro noticed a shadow move towards his palace. The Chersean skies never had a night, so he could clearly see the trespasser. However, from his spot, the duke couldn’t recognize who it was, for the offender wore a dark robe and cape, ostensibly to hide its identity.

Though, if anything, the trespasser’s movements are clumsy. He’s guessing it might be one of those weird-ass fans of the Lady Hinwe, or at worst, some foolish thief.

Kuro’s thoughts about sleeping vanished as he went to his drawer and took out a bolt-heater revolver and a dagger. Though he did wonder how that trespasser got past the paladin guards, he did remember that time he nearly got killed by a perverted duke who trespassed the Holy Palatial Gardens to steal some of Maddie’s panties.

Well, he’s not saying that the Paladin Guards can easily get sneaked through, but yeah, they should be more vigilant.

Anyway, there’s only one thing in Kuro’s mind when he saw that guy; the Lady Hinwe’s room. So, the duke dashed towards her place, intending to warn her about the emergency.

However…

“What’s going on?” A confused Kuro asked the moment he got to the room of the Lady Hinwe, and saw Maddie—donned in the trespasser’s garb—sitting beside the Elf Saint’s bed. Meanor was on the floor, with her hands and feet tied, and a gag on her mouth to keep her from shouting.

The Lady Hinwe, however, sat with the Human Saint, as if they were talking normally.

“Oh, Kuro! I see you’ve caught me!” Maddie chuckled. “I really can’t fool you, no?”

The duke stared at the Elf Saint, demanding explanations. The Lady Hinwe looked at Maddie, who nodded in turn.

“Well, as it turns out, when I wrote back to my admirers…” Her Lazy Holiness laughed, “…that one strange letter was from the Lady Madelaine. Also, she wanted to try sneaking into this place for once, and drop us a visit, instead of the usual teleport. Meanor got on her way, so she ended up tied on the floor.”

Kuro couldn’t decide which one was freakier: the identity of the author of the ‘death threat’ letter, the knowledge that the Lady Hinwe wrote back to those creepy letter-senders, or the smile of Maddie’s face, who was having the time of her life experiencing ‘fan-girling’.