"Failed Confession"

That question through me off quite as bit, as it was out of nowhere, but I nodded and followed her into the hallway. 

"What's up Hiyori?"

She seemed very nervous and hesitant with whatever she wanted to talk about. At first, it seemed like she was staring into nothing, but the more I looked at her, I realized that the whole time she was staring at me. 

"Hiyori?"

I had called her name again in hopes of getting a response. But I didn't get anything at all. As I was about to say something, she suddenly starts talking.

"Shiro... can you just listen to me for a bit? It may sound like a bunch of pointless rambling, but please... just hear me out for a little."

"Yea... of course I will. Is everything okay Hiyori?"

I asked her, I was a little concerned with the way she approached me. But she had asked me to listen to her, so as her friend that's all I can do right now. I mean, if she specifically asked me to listen to her about whatever it is... maybe it's something important, or something only I should know.

"Thank you Shiro... now I have a lot to say right now, and some of it's quite personal. So please just bear with me, okay?"
"Yea of course... I'll listen to whatever you have to say."

"Okay... so I know throughout the time you've known me at the school, I've always been this highly energetic airhead that tries to get along with everyone..."

"Yea...?"

"Well, if I'm being honest with you, it's just a facade... I'm actually really nervous around people. I like to bring people joy and make them laugh, but at the same time, I'm really afraid of disappointing people. I don't like the fact of anyone disliking me. Because of that, I try my best to get on everyone's good side. But I know that because of that, some people find me annoying. Before I continue Shiro, I want to know... do I annoy you at all?"

"No... not at all Hiyori, I find it funny and adorable how you act. From my perspective you give off the vibe of someone who's strong, and I respect that about you. So no, I have never felt annoyed by your presence, even before we became friends, I respected you. You were one of the few students in our class who didn't constantly pick on me."

As I said this, a small smile on her face appeared.

"Thank you Shiro... well back to my story. I like to brighten other people's day, even if my day isn't going to well. I still want to try to make others happy, because if someone I know is happy because of something I did for them, it makes me so happy. I always watched as people called you names or picked on you, and I'm sorry that I never did anything to step up. It's not that I didn't want to... it's that I didn't know how to do it, or what to say. Part of me just wanted to watch you from afar to see what you may do. When people are put in those positions, the majority of the time, their first instincts are to react with violence. But you... you never did that, you always either ignored the, or tried to peacefully resolve it. And I respected you much more because of that..."

"You know Hiyori, although at times I may have given the impression that their words didn't have an effect on me. But they always have... and they still do. The only difference now is that now I know my worth a little bit more. At first, I had always thought that if I showed that I didn't care for what they had to say, then no problems would arise, and they would leave me alone... but that never happened. I just decided to continue on as if they didn't exist. I hated everything that they say about me to this day, it's just that now I know that they are only empty words coming out of a mouth. They could say these things to me for the rest of my life for all I care... but as long as I know what I'm capable of, why should I let it bother me any further?"

We both stood there staring at each other, I still had little idea on what was going on. But I felt that being able to have a conversation like this with a friend was a good thing. Before she started talking again, she grabbed my hands and said:

"Look Shiro... ever since you came to the school, I always had my eyes on you... and I don't know why. But ever since we formed the study group for the midterms a couple weeks ago, I've gotten to spend more time with you... and I've gotten to see more of what kind of person you are."

Her grip on my hands seemed to tighten the longer she spoke to me for. I had a slight idea where she was going with this, but I didn't want to believe what this may be. The thought of it absolutely terrified me, because I do care for Hiyori... but if this is what I think it may be, I'm not sure what will happen after this night.

"Shiro... I've been holding back on telling you this for a while now, but Shiro... I think, I think I may have feelings for you."

"Hiy-"

"No... don't say anything right now... just listen to me please... I like how you care for you friends; I like how hard of a worker you are; you may see yourself as weak, but you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. I don't know how your life has been, or the type of things you've experienced... but what I do know, is how I feel about you. I know that I want to be there for you and support you, I want to be a shoulder for you to lean on."

As she talked more to me, she began to tear up slightly.

"Shiro... whatever darkness you may have in your life, I want to be that light that brings you out of it. I want... I want you to be able to be proud that you met me. I want to be in your life for the rest of my life."

I stood there completely stunned with what I just heard, although part of me feared this that the conversation was leading to this, now that it actually happened, I don't know what to do... I just know what I want. I looked Hiyori in the eyes, as I gripped her hands. 

"Hiyori... I appreciate you so much for what you told me. I really think highly of you as well, and I do want you in my life. I... I just don't want it in that way..."

She looked at me in a confused but defeated way before asking:

"W-What do you mean Shiro? What are you trying to say?"

I looked at her with sad eyes, I hated that I had to say this to her... but I had to tell her the truth, I couldn't be a scumbag and lead her on. I wanted her in my life forever... just not in the way that she wanted to be. 

"Hiyori... you are an extremely beautiful girl with so much potential. Every time I'm around you, there's nothing but cheerful vibes and joy. But I'm so sorry Hiyori... I can't return your feelings..."

She looked devastated as I said this, and it broke my heart so much to have been the one to destroy her beautiful smile. She didn't deserve this.

"I... I understand Shiro. But, if you could... can you at least tell me why you can't return them?"

I looked at her with a crooked smile, a smile that reflected my sorrow, but as well as my joy.

"My feelings... they are for Seira... they always have been. She was the person who brought me out of my shell. Before I met her on that star filled night, I was lost with no home. While yes, I had a roof over my head, the home I returned to everyday didn't feel like a home. Seira helped me to see the good in the world and helped me realize that not everyone hated me or was out to get me. I'm so sorry Hiyori, and I know what I'm about to ask you next is beyond cruel. But... by any chance, can we still be friends? You're a person that I really don't want to lose..."

It was clear that she was devastated from the me rejecting her, and I felt like crap for doing it. But she simply smiled and nodded, before giving me a warm hug.

"Shiro... thank you... for listening to me. Can we just... stay like this for a while?"
"Of course... take as long as you need..."

We stood there for maybe another 5 minutes before returning to the cafeteria. Soon after coming back to cafeteria, the class representatives, along with our teachers, slowly walked came inside. I looked at Seira, who seemed sad, I had wondered what had happened, but my confusion didn't last long.

"Students... I'm sorry to have to do this, but due to this afternoon's incident... we'll traveling home in the morning. Once again, we apologize for this announcement."