Chapter 4:

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Eh…Malva Girl?

I walked into my first class of the day with a spring in my step.

‘Finally, things are falling into place!’ I thought to myself as I stuck a hand in my blazer pocket for the hundredth time today. I smiled at the familiar sensation of a folded up piece of paper brushing my fingertips.

The list of Spring Fair Volunteers was the first and only clue I had, but honestly, it was more than enough. I’ve actually got a solid lead on my quest to find my Malva Girl!…Yeah I’m still working on the name.

But as I sat down at my desk, waiting for the bell to ring I was greeted by the first of many in a series of unfortunate events…

(Hey maybe that could be a good name for this story!)

(That’s already taken. Treyson, how do you not know it it’s world renowned.)

(I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN READ NOVELS!)

(Says the man who’s whole life is a novel.)

(…Wait what?)

“Um, sorry, are you Treyson Baller?” asked a small girl, timidly.

“Uh yeah that’s me, what’s up?” I asked in a casual tone so as not to scare the little girl. Aww she’s so tiny! She’s probably a grade below me or something.

“Um I’m Lina Fromage from the student council, I’ve been sent to call you.”

“The student council?”

That means this girl is two years older than me!

“Mhmm, if that’s um okay.”

“Uh yeah sure, it’s just that class is about to start so could this not maybe wa-“

“It’s urgent.”

“Okay okay let’s go…ma’am,” I said as I got up from my desk and followed the odd girl out the classroom.

This has Jocky’s name written all over it…he probably pulled some strings to get the Student Council to help with the mission too! Seriously, this guy’s like my guardian angel! But he didn’t have to go out of his way, this is a little excessive.

Just before I left I made sure to tap my friend Deane on the shoulder to ask him to tell Mr Saunders that I’d be late to class.

“Student Council wants to see me,” I said with a smirk, “don’t worry it’ll only take a minute. You know how this school is, constantly rewarding students for good behaviour. Don’t be surprised if I win the Student of the Year Award!”

“In your dreams,” he said chuckling as I walked out with a confident swagger.

____________________________________________________________________

“I’M SUSPENDED?”

“Yes. Shout a little louder next time and maybe the news station might hear yo-”

“I’M SUSPENDED!?”

“Okay, okay geez it’s called sarcasm,” said a tall, snarky girl from the other end of the table. She crossed her legs and took a sip of coffee in an aggravatingly patient manner.

This girl needs no introduction. This, is Tsuki Nora: Top of her Grade and Top of just about everyone’s hit list. In other words, she’s a pain in the butt! I honestly believe she rigged the votes for this year’s Student Council, no one in their right mind would vote for her so how did she become President??

“Under what grounds?” I demanded in as composed a manner as I could muster.

Stay calm Treyson this is all just one big misunderstanding.

“Under what grounds he says?” she scoffed as she and her fellow members chuckled briefly.

Miss Nora pulled out a lengthy letter from a yellow file with the words ‘Treyson Bowels’ on it.

“Ahem,” she said, clearing her throat as if the whole room wasn’t trained to silently await her words anyway. “After further investigation into yesterday’s reported incident-“

“What incident??” I protested impatiently.

Tsuki stared at me with a cold expression one would normally use on a misbehaving chihuahua. I quickly shut my mouth.

If she does actually own a chihuahua then I feel sorry for him, he must live one sad life.

“After further investigation into yesterday’s reported incident, it is confirmed that T. Baller, student number 23111308TA, was indeed seen leaving school property in an unsolicited vehicle during school hours. We hereby leave the task and responsibility of hearing out the defendant’s testimony, and deciding on an appropriate course of action, to the Student Council. Use whatever means you deem necessary, rip and tear until it is done,” she said with a giggle that filled the room with more silence than noise.

“Okay I made up that last bit but you get the picture,” she said with a cheeky wink.

“…um, when you said ‘last bit’ how much are we actually talking about here-“

“Oh be quiet, you know what I meant,” she said, returning to her impatient self. “Now hurry up and answer my question: Is the accusation true or false?”

I paused for a second to review my options. According to the letter there’s some kind of evidence against me already so lying might just make things worse. But I can’t exactly tell her the truth right? I mean, what would she do if she found out I was hanging out with Jocky Saunders, the unexpected owner of the scho-…waiiiiit a minute!

“Well you see…it is, BUT, I happened to be spending time with- no no, I was engaged in an important- no! A VERY important business meeting.” I’m so nailing this! “With none other than the owner of the school, Mr. Saunders.” I said with a proud look on my face as I closed my eyes and straightened my blazer collar, ready to continue.

“You see, we were discussing the-“

“Um…who is that?” asked a small voice that interrupted my elaborately planned speech. I opened my eyes to see Lina, staring with a blank expression that mirrored that of the other council members.

Was my speech that moving? Wow, forget the student of the year award, I deserve an Oscar for this!

“Excuse me?” I said, staying in character as best I could, “are you referring to Mr. J. Saunders?”

“Um, if you are referring to Mr. Saunders the maths teacher then you are horribly misinformed, and um if you are referring to his son, Jocky, then you are even worse so I’m afraid” she said in a small monotone voice that began to crush my spirit.

“Wait, no!” I protested, “I know what it looks like, but just look it up! Jocky is a brilliant entreprene-“

“Oh, will you cut it out already? Everyone who’s been at this school for more than a minute knows that Jocky is nothing but a lousy good-for-nothing dropout. So if you expect me to believe that he of all people owns this place,” she said, bursting into a hideously fake laugh, “then you really are off your rocker.”

“No no seriously I’m telling the truth!” Looks like I’m gonna have to pull out all the stops for this one.

I whipped out the list of names that Jocky got for me from the school’s databse and showed it to the room. “See look! Jocky got this from the school’s database. Now either he’s an amazing hacker or he must be the owner of the school…” I said, my confidence returning. Gottem!

“Um…so what you’re saying is he’s a hacker?” said Lina.

“What no! Will you can it shorty-“

“My my my. So you not only admitted to bunking school but also to school terrorism? This is low, even for you Treyson.” she said in a scarily accurate imitation of a teacher who’s disappointed in you. Believe me, I know EXACTLY what that sounds like.

“He’s not a hacker! It was a-“

“I’ve heard enough!” she said, snatching the paper from my hand.

“Wait I needed tha-“

“This is hardcore evidence that may or may not be used against you, should we find anything more suspicious.” she sneered, handing the paper to Lina. “Look into this as soon as possible,” she said gruffly.

What have I done?!

“Look, I tried to reason with you Treyson but I’m afraid you leave me with no choice…you’re suspended until further notice.”

“Oh come on, this has to be a-“

“You can deliver the news to your parents yourself.” she said, cutting me off as she slapped the yellow file onto my chest while flicking her hair.

“Any last words?” she jeered sweetly.

I stared at the paper in Lina’s hand and at the yellow file, now in my hands.

Oh great, just when things were looking up they fall back down again.

“Um,” I said, struggling to find the right words to suit perhaps salvage the situation:

“It’s Treyson Baller…not Bowels.”

____________________________________________________________________

Oh no! What has Treyson gotten himself into now!

Who’s side are you on? This wasn’t my fault!