Redemption

The first time Shin and Aya met was in their third year of high school, a year ago. She had just moved to town. She seemed quite sad. But I don't think it was because she had to say goodbye to friends in the old town and move to a new city. Some rumors said her mother had recently died, and her unemployed and depressed father had to move to my city. I don't know if those rumors are true. When I returned Aya's forgotten bag, there was no one at home. Was it just a coincidence? By the way, she's an only child. So when she's at home, it must be tough for her without someone nearby to reassure or comfort her. But these are just assumptions. She's always lost in thought at school. I wonder what she's thinking about. She always gazes out the window. That's why she's terrible at math. However, in other subjects, she manages okay. If she took her studies more seriously, she would definitely be a model student. She has a lot of potential, she just doesn't use it. When she transferred to my class, she kept to herself. She didn't make an effort to socialize with the other girls, but she always looked outside the window. However, if a girl started a conversation with her, Aya could keep it going for a while, but nothing serious. After 1 week, she hadn't made any friends. I felt a bit guilty, but what could I do? If people saw me talking to her in class, they would surely think I was trying to get close to her. So, I decided not to initiate conversation with her in class. However, I noticed she was becoming more isolated. One day, while I was walking home from school, I ran into her on the street. She was walking with her head down. I thought that if I didn't talk to her now, it probably wouldn't happen in the future. Maybe it was also a way to forgive myself, because I knew I wasn't talking to her out of fear of tarnishing my reputation. I went up to her and called her by name.

"Hi, Aya..."

She, who until that moment had kept her gaze down, lifted her head and looked at me with a confused expression.
"Hi, Shin,"
 she replied, her voice very faint. I was surprised.
"How do you remember my name?" And she said:

"I remember you, we're in the same class. I noticed you avoid me on your own."
 I became sadder. So she had noticed. She must be a very sensitive girl. Aya noticed my disheartened face and immediately tried to reassure me:
"Oh, don't worry, almost everyone in class avoids me."

Her answer left me perplexed. She said it to reassure me, but how was I really supposed to feel about it? Does the fact that other people have behaved as poorly as me make my actions less bad? I felt a deep remorse for that girl.
"Shin, I'm a person with a painful past. Rumors have already spread about me. I think people don't know how to interact with me because they're afraid of offending me or they don't want to have anything to do with things that are overly sad."
Could it be that I behaved like this for these unconscious reasons too, and I didn't realize it? Believing in this hypothesis made me feel a bit better. Although deep down, I couldn't make the guilt go away.
"Aya, I'm sorry for never talking to you. From tomorrow, I promise I'll talk to you more."
She smiled in a way I had never seen before. At that point, we said goodbye and each went our separate ways to go home. Even if perhaps I was initially motivated by guilt, I began to talk more with Aya and get to know her better. I discovered an energetic and playful side of her that I had never seen before, probably because at school, she always comes across as cold and distant. But normally, she's a nice person. Maybe I should offer her more moral support, but I've never been good at these things. Even today, I wonder if the way I'm behaving with her is the best way. Besides me and Rei, I'm not aware of any other friends Aya has. There probably aren't any, although Aya would get angry if she heard my baseless assumptions. Anyway, if Aya were to try, she would be able to make many friends in no time. But this is the path she chose. As they say, few but good friends. These reflections I've just made are really interesting; it would be a shame not to exploit them... I've decided, I'll incorporate them into the backstory of the main protagonist (of the story I'm writing). Of course, Shin didn't know that Aya would read this too, just after Shin published the chapter about the tragic past of the main heroine. Tomorrow, when Shin and Aya will mett, it'll be a very special day. 

Oh, in the end, I chose Reya as the name of the main protagonist. It represents the fusion of Rei and Aya, the friends I care about the most, into a single name. I wonder if Aya noticed. Of course, Shin didn't know that Aya had figured it out the first time she read that name.