Soil

After I woke up this morning, I saw Celicia leave Grandpa’s room, followed by her stating the news without any particular feelings attached to it. After that, I reported the incident to the old man, in which he took the body somewhere.

I’m not sure what happened after that, since all that the old man said was that he was going to cremate the body, and we were left idle ever since.

“…”

“…”

It has been nine hours since the old man took Grandpa’s body, and now both of us are sitting quietly in the living room, waiting for new information from the old man. As much as a part of me wants to say something, I’m not really sure what’s the right word to say without making it worse.

If anything, I’m not sure if she’s sad or depressed. Everything that Celicia has done has been mechanical as if she’s engineered to do said actions.

It’s almost like she’s accepted the fact that this day will eventually come.

“…Hey—”

“I’m back.” The old man says across the hallway.

Celicia stood up from the couch and headed towards the origin of said voice. In return, I got up and followed her as well.

As we walked along the hallway, we eventually met up with the old man who was wearing a formal dark blue kimono with a tote bag over his left shoulder.

“Here. Get ready both of you…” He gave the tote bag to Celicia.

“Okay,” Celicia replied as she took the tote bag from the old man. She looks at me and continues, “Come on, let’s hurry up…” She said as she disappeared into the hallway.

“…Okay.”

I silently followed her into the dark hallway.

---

“We, the earth clan are here to mourn the loss of our devout follower.”

All the elves gathered before the Yggdrasil Tree belong to the earth clans, as Celicia mentioned when we were heading to this place. The priest, positioned atop the hill, leads the congregation in uttering their wishes and prayers.

Since Grandpa came from our family, everyone in Celicia’s family is standing on the frontline of the crowd. For some reason, I’m also included in this category as well, so I’m standing next to Celicia.

Amongst the crowd, I noticed Siofra and her family that are standing behind her, their hands entwined and their eyes closed. I also noticed the lady with a tan-skin that came over to our house yesterday.

I thought Siofra was from the Wind clan. I guess friends from different clans can participate as well…

The priest finishes his speech, and then he looks down at the old man.

“Now it’s your turn, Mr. Crutz.” The priest says.

The old man gave a nod and went up the hill whilst holding an ash container, gradually passing the priest as he stood on top of the tree’s root.

The old man looks up at the Yggdrasil Tree, making us look at his firmly built back. Judging from his arm motion, he took off the ash container lid with his left arm.

And threw all of the ashes towards the tree root in a single, clean motion.

---

After all was said and done, the crowd gradually dispersed, each individual going about their own activities. The old man and Ms. Clairene, however, remained standing before the tree's roots, kneeling in a reverential position.

Meanwhile, Celicia and I are standing a few steps below the tree’s root, looking at her parents praying to their deceased family member.

“…Aren’t you gonna pray with them?” I ask.

“…”

I look to my left to see Celicia gazing towards the tree’s root; the place where the old man threw the ashes away.

“…”

A single tear streaks through Celicia’s cheek, despite the fact that her face still looks the same as this morning.

“…”

A gust of wind swept over us, followed by Celicia opening her mouth.

“…Grandpa said that… the reason why he became an earth clan member was because he wanted to be… a part of the earth itself after he dies…” Celicia muttered, breaking the silence.

“…”

“That’s why… I’m sure he’s a lot happier like this than being alive…”

“…”

“…”

As the conversation was cut short, there was a sound of grass being stepped on slowly approaching us.

I look to my back to see Celicia’s childhood friend awkwardly standing behind me.

“…” Making eye contact with her, I walked away from Celicia towards Siofra, eventually passing her. However, she raised her right hand and shook it to the left and right, stopping my track.

“…” Siofra shook her head.

“…” I gave her a small nod and stood still at the place where she stopped me, followed by her climbing up the hill to meet up with Celicia.

“Hey, Celice…” Siofra stands next to Celicia. She continues, “Are you okay?” She puts her hand on Celicia’s shoulder.

“…Yeah,” Celicia nods alongside, “If anything, this is the best outcome for all of us…”

“…Celice?” Siofra asks, her hand raised slightly.

“My grandpa… was already dead for a long time…” Celicia slumps her shoulders, her gaze facing downward.

“What do you—”

“Siofra.”

“…!”

I grab Siofra’s shoulder, her body jumping slightly.

“It’s okay, Yuuma.” Celicia looks back at me with a strained smile.

“…”

Celicia gave me a nod and continued,

“My grandpa… lost all of his memories… including himself…”

“…”

“…”

“…It all started around seventy-five years ago, where at first it was barely noticeable, like forgetting where he put his drink or forgetting what he was doing. However, it gradually reached a point where he had a hard time remembering his own family names…”

“…”

“…”

“We thought it was just a normal thing for old people to forget, but around thirty years after that, it reached a point where he could barely recognize his own family…”

“…”

“…”

“And finally twenty years later, he has completely lost his memories of himself and his family. So much so that he feels like a completely different person. No… He is a different person…” Celicia’s shoulder trembled, her eyes welling up.

“…”

“Celice…”

“That’s why… this funeral isn’t for Grandpa Algar… this funeral is for some random stranger that we’ve been taking care of for twenty-five years…”

As Celicia said that, her cold expression broke out, resulting in a dampness being released through her eyes.

“*sniff* My grandpa… has been dead for years…”

“Celice!” Siofra pulled Celicia over to her side and gave her a hug.

“…!”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know…” Siofra tightens her grip on Celicia.

“It’s okay…” Celicia sniffs her runny nose, “I never told you after all…”

“But I never tried to make you talk about it…” Siofra said as her eyes started to well up.

“That’s a… good thing, you know? Keeping boundaries is a good thing.” Celicia said, her voice gradually calming down.

“Am I… not dependable enough for you?” Siofra said as her eyes started to well up.

“That’s not it…” Celicia then pushes Siofra, places her hands on her shoulders, and meets her eyes, “I’m just… scared that I’ll be burdening you if I talk about it…” Celicia replied as she avoided her gaze.

“It won’t be a burden!” Siofra yelled out.

“Then… do you know what it feels like to have a living corpse live in the same house as you for twenty-five years?”

“I…”

“Do you know what it feels like to see the person who raised me, loved me, and cared for me throughout my childhood become someone completely different?”

“I do—”

“Do you know what it feels like to spread the ashes of some stranger that has been living in my grandpa’s body for yea—”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“…!”

“How am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me anything about it…?” Siofra asks, her face completely covered in tears.

“…”

“You don’t have to be scared of burdening me!” Siofra takes a single step towards Celicia, “We’ve known each other for years, so stop trying to solve things on your own, and let me help you!”

“I—” Celicia takes a step back, only for Siofra to quickly pull her into a hug.

“You’re not running away!”

“…!”

“It’s true that I can’t help you. It’s true that I can’t give you comfort. It’s true that I can’t do anything but listen to what you have to say,” Siofra tightened her grip, “But despite all of that, I want you to talk to me! I want to know what you’re facing! I want to know how you feel!”

“…Why are you the one crying?” Celicia asks.

“I don’t know! *sniff*”

“…I see,” Celicia grabs her head and pulls her into a gentle hug, “I’m sorry for today… and thank you for being here with me…” Celicia gave a soft smile.

“*sniff*” Siofra gave a nod as she soaked Celicia’s shirt in tears and snots.

“…”

“…Let’s sit down and I’ll tell you about it.” Celicia strokes Siofra’s head.

“…Okay.” Siofra nods.