Starry sky behind the clouds

14. Starry sky behind the clouds

In front of Keito's room, Ozawa opened the door… “This is it.” However, no matter how you look at it, this is not his room.

Beyond the slid-open door laid down four girls in futons, dumbfounded by our sudden entrance.

“Wrong room,” Yoshida loudly noted.

“Shhh!” Ito placed his hand on his mouth to shut him up.

“Hey!” An aggressive whisper from a teacher sounded in the distance. “What’s all that fuss in the hallway?”

Both “Come in!” and “Go away!” were whispered at the same time from within the room.

Ito, as the only one listening to the “come in” command, went in the room, whilst we were ready to make a run out. Then suddenly, I got pulled into the room as well—the door simultaneously shut close.

Too spooked to say anything, Ito and I were pushed behind the sliding doors of the closet.

I looked at the girls, but recognised none, except for the one that pulled me in. “…Ayano?”

“Why are you the one surprised? Shut up and hide already!”

I heard a teacher opening the door, probably looking around the room, seeing nothing but pretend sleepers. Without a word being said, she closed the door again.

“Is the coast clear?” Ito asked.

Simply hearing his whisper voice made me feel incredibly grateful for being here with him instead of Yoshida, he’d have ratted us out on accident.

“Yes,” someone whispered back, “you can come out.”

As the two of us crawled out of the closet again, Ayano stood in front of us with her arms crossed over each other—looking like an angry mother about to scold a misbehaving child.

“The hell do you think you’re doing here?”

I looked at Ito, hoping he’d explain. “Operation group—”

“Exploration,” I instantly interrupted. “Some of us are escaping the inn to go explore the place at and stuff. Test of courage number two…” I pretty much copied what Keito had told me during dinner.

“And what made you think our room would be an appropriate stopover?”

“Well… we thought this was Keito’s room… but it’s clearly not.”

“Damn right.”

“Sneaking out at night… that sounds kind of exciting doesn’t it,” one of the girls said to which another nodded, “Yeah… kind of spooky, too.”

Ayano only directed her annoyance towards us, she put on a smile right before turning around to her roommates. “Let’s all head out then.”

When everyone stood up to make their way out, Ayano pulled me by the back of my shirt once more. “I dropped my contact lenses,” she said.

“You wear those?”

“Just help me out already…” She angrily whispered. “Go ahead, we’ll be there in a second,” she said to the others.

Whilst I was kneeled down, looking for her contacts she could’ve lost “anywhere” as she said, she sat down against the wall, tightly clenching her knees to her body.

“Are you sure you lost them here? I don’t see them anywhere.” My eyes had gotten used to the dark a little, but perhaps not enough to find her lenses.

“You can stop looking already. I found them.”

I raised my head, “Where?”

She pulled her eyelid down and stuck her tongue out.

I couldn’t help but sigh, “You’re evil… So, what’s it you want from me?”

“Hmmm… attention.”

Are you a cat or something?

I stood up again, ready to make my way out. “Well, I got places to be. I’m sure you’ll get your attention elsewhere.”

“I hate people like you,” she said out of the blue. “I’m sure Keito does as well. And if you’re not careful, there won’t be anyone left who doesn’t.”

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“Right now? Very little, I guess,” she nonchalantly answered as she twirled her finger through a strand of her hair. “Right now, very little,” she repeated.

She was clearly stirring the pot. “What’s it that you’re trying to tell me?”

“Nothing more than a warning…”

“Warning? For what?”

Her face lost all playfulness and turned completely serious.

“When the average-at-best lot grab hold of someone like us, they get scared.” She switched up her position, seated with one knee up and her arm placed over it. Leaning forward, she continued, “Half of them will admire you, and perhaps even attempt to chase your level, whilst the other half will do anything, anything it takes to tear you down. And when you’re like you, someone that shines far brighter than his surroundings, but pretends not to notice—no one will admire you, it takes nothing but time before they’ll despise you.” She stood up and walked closer to me. “So when the clock gives a knock on your door,” she knocked on the door without losing her intense eye contact, “just remember that I warned you.”

Oftentimes—well in the sparse few times we’ve spoken so far—it feels like she’s talking to herself, even when her words and tone directly challenge me. In the fiery gaze that refused to waver, I remembered the tears I saw rolling out of them during the last week of summer break.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” The intensity faded and turned into confusion.

Surely, without digging for an answer to questions in the dedicated manner she does, I’ve gotten to an answer to a question of my own.

“For whatever happened to you that lead to this conclusion.”

She turned away, sitting against the wall again. “Do you think an injured anteater would appreciate pity from an ant? Leave me alone already.”

Going by her fickle nature, like a cat really, I asked, “That means you don’t want me to go, doesn’t it?”

She clicked her tongue. “You said you had places to be, right?” Despite her sharp tongue, I know she’s not a bad person. Otherwise she wouldn’t try to warn me in her own way.

Without attempting to decipher her starry sky references, I figured out what she meant by it being hidden behind the clouds. However, I’ve got little time for this, I absolutely have to find Katsumata and apologise for earlier, things will only turn more awkward the longer I wait.

“…Yeah,” I slid the door open. “I’m sure they’re waiting for you as well.”

She buried her face in between her knees.

I know she’s not a bad person… the only reason tangibility was found in more than my reaching hand alone that she hadn’t noticed yet, until I said, “No need to pretend you hate the ants you refuse to eat.” First she says I shine brighter than the rest, then calls me an ant. Regardless of what part of herself she sees when she looks at me, “We’re nothing but ordinary, you’re probably more of an ant than an anteater anyway.”

She shot an offended glare into my eyes, “You know nothing about me.”

“True. I know as much about you as you know about me. Next to nothing.”

She shook her head, “I know more about you than you think. I’ve been talking to Keito a lot, you know? And even then, you can’t fool me with your ‘I’m just ordinary’ nonsense. I know it all too well. When your ceiling is higher than the others, they’ll hate you for it.”

The way she said her words, made me understand that that’s what she’s been through. People must’ve treated her poorly because she, seemingly, effortlessly performed better than others.

“You hate me, you say, but that has nothing to do with what you’ve just said. I believe the reason you say you do, is because I’m nothing more to you than a reflection of what you once were. A starry sky, as you phrased it, hidden behind clouds.”

Perhaps she’s seeking solace, companionship from someone who understands her, which would be why she’s testing me now, but there’s one thing she fails to grasp. “I don’t want to be your saviour, Ayano.” The loneliness that comes with her way of thinking isn’t my problem to fix nor my responsibility to bear. “I don’t view myself as superior to another, I’m sure you’re also only faking it.”

Her eyes looked perplexed. She probably started this conversation to reach to this sort of conclusion to begin with.

“I don’t want to be your saviour.” I continued, “I just want to be your friend. That’s what you’re really looking for isn’t it? A friend. I’m sure the sort of people you’re warning me about never saw you as a friend to begin with.”

She still looked perplexed and didn’t say anything. Even though she used a vile challenge in attempt to warn me, I believe she really did it with the intention of making me stray of that exact struggle she’d dealt with.

“Thanks for the warning, but Keito doesn’t hate me, nor do I think anyone I care about would turn against me for being me… I hope you’ll make friends with people who you don’t have to tip-toe around, like the sort of friend Keito is to me.” I held my fist forward. “I’m sure he, as your servant, wouldn’t mind being that sort of friend to you as well.”

After bumping her fist against mine, she instantly retreated it and crossed her arms again, showing magnitudes of attitude in her stance alone. “Heh. You really are anything but ordinary. Exceptional at fishing, at sports and apparently at reading people as well.”

The latter definitely wasn’t true, since there’s one riddle left I’m unable to solve, just like I was thinking earlier today.

“That reminds me,” I decided to keep the topic at the first thing she mentioned. “You’ve asked me a couple of times why I started fishing, but I never really asked it back.”

“Oh, so now we’re curious, huh… But I guess I’ll tell you. When people started disliking the starry me, because I refused to sparkle, I had to practise shining brightly with an overabundance of pride. So I thought of the most dull thing I could come up with; fishing. If I could sparkle brightly as a fisher, then surely I’d be able to wash away the clouds I always placed in front of me. And somewhere along the line, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit,” she smiled.

“I’m sure a lot of people would enjoy fishing if they got over the mental hurdle of presuming it’s dull.”

“True that,” she nodded. “Anyway, we better get our asses out of here before the exploration group starts thinking weird stuff.”

Outside at last, I didn’t join the “exploration group”, instead I ran a lap around the inn to see if I’d find Katsumata somewhere underneath the glistening full moon with her pen and paper in hand.

And sure enough, it didn’t take long before I saw her seated in the tall grass. I had no idea yet what I’d say. All I knew was that I wanted to apologise. I took a step forward and called out to her, “Katsumata.”

She turned her head around and dropped her pen, “Shima?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” I walked closer to her and sat down as well. “When I noticed the full moon, I was sure you’d be out here somewhere.”

Right after sitting down, I stood back up, realising I wanted to keep it brief. “Anyway, I wanted to apologise for earlier again.”

Her surprised expression turned sorrowful, “You don’t need to apologise…” She raised her head, opened her mouth, but swallowed the words back in.

In the distance, I heard the explorers making some noise. “I guess I’ll go take a look at what they’re up to.”

As I turned away, I felt her hands holding mine. She shoved a piece of paper in them and took off.

I looked at it, before unfolding it, I saw the pen on the ground that wasn’t picked up when it fell earlier. After pocketing it, I unfolded the piece of paper. It read;

“I’m glad you found me.”


What in the world does that mean…

“It’s a boar!!” Someone yelled as I heard the group headed my way. Leading the pack was Keito.

“Ryotarou! There’s a boar chasing us!”

“Huh…?”

“Run!”

* * *

The following day, my brain hadn’t been collecting, and thus not storing any of the information said by any of the guides nor have my eyes taken mental pictures of the sights seen. All that was present in my mind was Katsumata. I hadn’t talked to her since last night, and now having lost sight of everyone during our free time, the chances of running into her are slim.

I had my phone hidden in the bottom of my bag, but it’d be very useless to send her a message had she not sneaked hers here to Kyoto as well.

Wondering why I even risked taking it with me in the first place if I wasn’t going to use it, I walked into a giftshop to get mom and dad some souvenirs. I still had time to kill before we’d meet up as a group for a museum visit.

As I stared at the many souvenirs such as, folding fans, Kyo ware and incense holders—

“Ryota~rou! Gotcha!” Ayano put her hands on my shoulders. “What are you doing all alone?”

I looked around the store and didn’t see any of her usual troupe with her. “Right back at you.”

“On the net, I saw they’ve got some super cute phone straps over here. Need to get me some quickly, the girls are going on a secret picture spree later. Haven’t the boys planned anything as a group?”

“Yeah, a museum visit.”

She looked nearly disgusted, “Boring.”

“The international manga museum, that is.”

Her face turned into one that questioned her entire existence.

“Have fun on your picture spree, I guess.”

“Yeah,” she picked out a couple of straps, seemingly at random, “I will.” then took them all to the register. When I turned my head to the door-end of the aisle, I saw Katsumata standing there. She reverted back to avoiding eye contact after waving from afar.

“Looking for souvenirs, as well?” I asked as I walked up to her.

She nodded.

“Got anything in mind already?”

She shook her head.

“Yeah, same. Just looking around until something jumps into sight.”

As she said very little in response, well, nothing really, I thought the end of times had neared, I really messed up.

Until she turned around, her entire body facing me. She took a deep breath and earnestly asked, “Will you please,” she lowered her volume quite a bit, “take me fishing sometime.”

From all the things she could’ve asked, I expected this the very least, thought I didn’t have to think twice about my response. “Of course! Ask Kazuo any time, I believe we’re going to the Yamanaka Lake in a couple of weeks with—”

“Not with dad,” she interrupted. In an even softer voice she said, “Just the two of us… if that’s alright.”

As soon as I nodded, she looked relieved and made her way out of the shop in a flash of a second. Right then, my watch on my left wrist beeped. Fifteen minutes left before the boys would meet at the train station… better hurry.

* * *

After getting off the train and arriving only sixteen minutes late for the regroup with the rest of our school, all eyes were glued to Morishita, holding multiple bags in each hand, and a couple hanging on his shoulders as well.

Before any teacher scolded us for being late, Miss Iwasaki asked, “What might you be carrying in all those bags?”

“Manga. A hundred twenty seven volumes to be precise.”

“He plundered the store right next to the museum,” Keito said.

Somehow, Morishita’s mass spending distracted the teachers enough, “Are your parents aware of this?”

“Aren’t there any things you’d rather spent your money on? Like things you can only get today, here in Kyoto?”

Thanks to his antics, we got away with being late scot-free.

After dinner, it was time for the “campfire”. Our last activity of the day had plenty of the “fire” aspect, but lacked anything “camp”. We had a traditional pottery class, with very big fiery ovens in the back, in which our clay creations would take proper shape.

“We’ve been set up,” Keito moped as he played around with his bit of clay.

“Who even thought we would have an actual campfire, though…” I tried my hand at making a proper clay pot. “We’re here for educational experiences after all.”

He dropped his head on the table and sighed, “I got educated plenty at the museum…”