Clairene's Daughter

“And then… You do this…” Ms. Clairene started scraping the bowl she was holding at lightning speed, each movement exuding an elegant energy as the previously blank bowl gradually shaped itself.

“…Wow…”

In an instant, Ms. Clairene was able to finish one side of the bowl; a beautiful flower-like object was in full bloom.

“It’s only one side though, so it’ll take a while to carve out the rest…” She said as she scratched her head.

“Here, you try it…” Ms. Clairene gave me the chisel and the bowl she just used to carve.

“Huh? You haven’t told me anything—”

“First-hand experience is the best way to learn,” Ms. Clairene shrugged, “Now try it.”

“…” I grab the chisel and the bowl from her hand.

From what I recall, she created an outline of the shape she wanted to make and then applied pressure in a motion to shape it.

“…”

I carve out the same outline Ms. Clairene made on the other side of the pot. The lines aren’t as clean as Ms. Clairene’s, but the outline should do for now.

After that, I added pressure to the outline, and I slowly traced the outline with some lines breaking here and there.

“…”

After a while, I was able to finish the carving.

However, the lines are all over the place, some parts of the carving range from being too deep or way too thin. A complete mess when compared to Ms. Clairene’s.

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Ms. Clairene replied, “You got a general feel for it, so all you need to do is get used to it.”

“Yeah.”

…

…..

……

“…”

“…”

Both of us have been in this room for hours, and we have been silent this entire time. The only sound that filled this room was the sound of metal scraping against clay with the floor being filled with stripes of clay.

“Hey, Shizue…” Ms. Clairene asks, her hand is still in motion.

“Hm?”

“What do you think of my daughter?”

“…”

I stopped midway carving. My throat can’t let out any sounds.

“Don’t tell me…”

“…”

I’m not sure myself.

No… That’s not it. I want to stand next to her, to be able to support her. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have tried this hard to reach her. And I wouldn’t have been able to push myself if it weren’t for her…

I grip my hand, face Ms. Clairene’s gaze, and say,

“…I want to be an equal to Celicia…”

“…”

“Whether I have romantic feelings or not is a different story, but for now, I want to be good enough for her sake…”

“Isn’t that the same as saying you like her…?” Ms. Clairene whispers.

“Sorry? I didn’t hear what you said.” I replied whilst leaning in.

“Nevermind…” Ms. Clairene then straightened her back, and a stern expression appeared on her face, “Shizue, do you know the difference in lifespan between you and Celicia?”

“…Yes.”

“Can you really say you want to be an equal to her when you might not be able to see the day when you can become that for her?”

“…”

“I’m sorry…” Ms. Clairene gazed downwards, “I… don’t want you to get closer to my daughter…”

“…”

I get what she's trying to say, but I don't have it in me to distance myself from someone like her. 

She's the reason why I want to change. She's the reason why I want to be better. If I lose that reason, 

Then what other reason could I have to change? 

"I just…” Ms. Clairene slowly raises her head, “I just… don’t want my daughter to be sad…”

“…I see.”

I get what she means, and I’m aware of the damage I could do to Celicia if I ever decide to go on that path.

However, 

“…” I gripped the chisel and continued carving from where I left off.

“…?” Ms. Clairene tilts her head.

“What you said is true, and I have thought about what would happen if I were to go on that path…” I continue to follow my outline which is gradually becoming smoother with each carving, “However, whatever will happen in the future will all depend on what Celicia wants to do herself... Whatever her decision is, I’ll gladly follow along...”

I managed to finish my design. It still looks amateurish, but it’s way smoother and cleaner compared to all of my previous attempts.

Just because she wants me to back down, that doesn't mean that I'd yield to her. 

“I see…” Ms. Clairene smiled, “I’m glad…” She then continues to carve out her bowl.

“You’re glad?” I tilt my head, “I decided to go against you, you know?”

“Nope!” Ms. Clairene stuck out her tongue, “You did not.”

“Huhh?”

What you said is correct,” Ms. Clairene redirected her gaze toward her bowl, “No matter what our opinion on the matter is, it all boils down to Celicia making that final call. On that, I agree.”

“But… I didn’t say that I’ll stop chasing after her…”

“You didn’t…” Ms. Clairene continues to carve, not making eye contact with me, “However, judging from your eyes, it seems like you won’t budge no matter how much I beg…”

“…”

“That’s why, I won’t stop you from getting close to my daughter. It won’t mean anything after all…” Ms. Clairene said as she finished one bowl and moved on to the next one.

“Then… Are you going to do something to me?” I gulp my saliva as I uttered them out.

“Who do you think I am?” Ms. Clairene stops carving and points her chisel towards me, “I’m not going to do anything, that’s what I’m going to do,” She goes back to carving the next bowl with a pout.

“You’re telling me that you don’t want me to get close to your daughter, but you’re also not going to do anything to stop me?”

That’s just… confusing. Then why say anything about it in the first place?

“Correct,” She put the finished bowl to the side and grabbed the next one, “You had the same eyes as Vena when we argued, and I know how that turned out…”

“…”

“I still want to respect your wish, Shizue. It’s just that… I also want to express my concern is all…” Ms. Clairene’s hand stopped.

“…You really love your daughter, don’t you?” I teasingly asked.

“Of course I do!” Ms. Clairene proudly puffs her chest, “I’m her mother after all!”

“Hehehe…” I let out a chuckle

“Hahahaha!”

Both of us burst into laughter, completely drowning out the serious mood.