Handing me a Bundle of White Clovers

My companion stretches her arm out beside me, tired after sitting down for the hour and a half long play. The other viewers left the church where the play took place, and the priests and nuns walked out from the library behind, passing us, unveiling the divine towers revealing their majesty. Then there I was, left confused, not by the show, but with myself.

Her eyes followed the nuns before snapping back to the door, sneaking a few glances into the library before it slammed close. She jumped up from her seat and dashed over to one of the priests.

“Inside is the library right? Is it closed or are we allowed to go inside?”

“Yes it is, but only until dusk.”

She dashed back to the still dazed me, trying her hardest to pull me up.

“Come! How long are you going to sit there? You heard that right, let’s have a look inside before it closes.”

Her pulling shifted into pushing, then into shaking, and that was finally able to shove that thought into the back of my mind.

“Sure, let’s go have a look…”

“That took you long enough… Was the show really good enough for you to be lost in thoughts even more than usual?”

She pouted, dragging me over to the doorway.

“It just made me think of something.”

“What are those you think of anyway? What’s so important that would make you phase out like that?”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure myself.”

“Hmm…”

She faced me as she pushed open the door, and the smell of old books and aging leather washed over us. Gasping out in amazement, she pulled me in further, my feet dragged and grinded against the hard teak floor, trying to adjust to her quickened steps.

Chandeliers of golden brass hang off the endless ceiling, painted with an ocean view with a coast near in sight. Five pillars of dark cherry wood, carved into statues of the living gods supported the soaring roof.

My companion ran over to one of the bookshelves, their height difference became ever more jarring as she got closer, needing a twenty-step ladder to reach the top shelf.

“See! We would have missed this if you kept sitting there running in your maze of thoughts…”

As the last word left her mouth, a demanding “SHHH!” got thrown at us from the other side, and she raised her hands up to her mouth, covering them before rushing over back to me, this time making sure her steps were as light as possible then repeated what she said, this time whispering.

“We would have missed this if you continued thinking about nothing.”

She stuck the tip of her tongue out with a smirk as a playful revenge on me for making her wait, but the only thing that seemed to achieve was making the librarian slightly more agitated.

She went back over, this time to another line of shelves and I followed.

“See, they have the book you were reading last time on the wizard tower here as well.”

Bringing me over the book before having her eyes caught by another on the shelf across. She jumped onto a step stool extending her hand up but still couldn’t reach far enough to grab it.

“Need help?”

I pulled onto the bookmark string that stuck out and hung off the shelf edge, enough for her to grab a hold of the rest of the book. She stepped down and took a deep breath after stretching her body out, then blew off the layer of dust accumulated on its cover.

“This looks like a book you would like as well.”

“Here be Dragons? Why do you think that?”

“Both you and the book gave off the same feeling, bet you’d like it.”

With a soft giggle, she went over to my other side.

“Have a seat and give it a read, maybe you really will like it.”

She took off again, searching through the shelves for another book. Letting out a sigh, I flipped open the book she picked out for me. She really did just pick this based only on her intuition, didn’t she…

The first page was greeted with a poem, another retelling of the Valley of Blue. Crow Father’s kingdom of hubris, the Sparrow’s kinslaying, Tailed Trickster’s bell and rattle, and the Silent Traveler and Red Rose’s illogical nonsense, speaking in their universal language. The gods again… always finding a way to barge into my life, all after I met her. But she was right, the way it was written, it did feel like myself, even if I couldn’t point out which part.

She grabbed the ladder by the side and climbed up it, telling me to hold onto its legs, making sure she wouldn’t tip over. Waiting for her to pick out another, I was left alone with my thoughts again.

Who am I in love with… Was that even love to begin with? Why was that the feeling that got brought up… Couldn't it be any other feelings? If that really was love, then who is it for?

A hard book smacked against my forehead, dust flew off and some covered my hair, and behind was the angry face of my companion.

“Pay more attention, those steps were slippery you know…”

Her angry face turned into light disappointment, pouting and turning her face to one side slightly, still keeping her eyes on me.

“You can still tell me what you are thinking, even if you don’t really know yourself. We can try to figure it out together.”

We moved to sit on the velvet cushioned seats under the sloped window, the sun beaming down even when it’s way past noon. Summer really had fully arrived.

“It’s…”

A flock of pigeons sped past the window behind us, and the bell of the dusk hour rang through the whole city. Closing hour is here, and the heavy book the librarian was reading slammed shut, her footsteps ever closer.

“...you are feeling right?..”

“Ehe… Forget about that, let’s get out before the librarian gets mad.”