Chapter 4:

Chapter 04 A Disaster

Hermit's Diary

After a few hours of mingling in the filth along with hundreds of tiny fellow goblin hatchlings, I noticed a peculiar shift within myself. It was as if my mind were slowly adapting to this new existence, much like my body had changed into this goblin form. 

As I rolled around in the mess, my large ears wobbling with each movement, I began to pick up on the high-pitched chirps and clicks emitted by my fellow goblins. At first, their communication sounded like a raucous jumble of nonsensical sounds, but gradually, it began to make sense.

It was as if my brain was deciphering this unique language on its own, piece by piece. The goblins around me seemed to be conversing, exchanging simple ideas and concepts.

One goblin might emit a series of quick chirps, and another would respond with a combination of clicks. It was a rudimentary form of communication, but it allowed them to convey their basic needs and emotions.

As I listened and observed, I realized that I was beginning to understand them, not just on a superficial level but in a way that allowed me to grasp their intentions and feelings.

I decided to test my newfound ability to communicate with these goblins. With a few awkward chirps and clicks of my own, I attempted to initiate a conversation with a nearby goblin who appeared to be examining a chunk of moss.

"Gobbie-ho! My name is... I am... Hermit!"

To my astonishment, the goblin responded, his ears shooting up like twin green flags of recognition at my halting attempts at communication. We engaged in an enthusiastic exchange of high-pitched chirps and clicks, which somehow conveyed more meaning than I would have thought possible.

"Gobbie-gob! Gruk is me!" Gruk yelled with a series of clicks that sounded like a miniature chorus of bells.

I clicked and chirped in response, attempting to mimic his language as best as I could. It was a bizarre symphony of sounds, a cacophony of goblin hatchlings chirping and clicking in distress and excitement.

"Chirp-chirp! Hermit new friend!"

The conversation between Gruk and me continued, and we discussed our shared confusion about our current circumstances. We wondered aloud about the meaning of our existence as goblin hatchlings and the mysteries of the underground world.

"Glik-glik! Where are we?"

Gruk, his tiny body practically vibrating with curiosity, clicked rapidly, "Goblin hatchery, a big pile of squishy, stinky stuff!"

"Chirp-chirp! What squishy stuff for?"

We pondered the purpose of the filth that surrounded us. Was it some kind of nourishment for goblin hatchlings, or did it serve a different role in our peculiar society?

"Glok-glok! Don't know, taste bad! Stink even bader!"

As we continued our goblin conversation, the surrounding hatchlings began to join in, their chirps and clicks weaving a complex tapestry of communication. It was a chaotic yet strangely harmonious symphony of goblin voices, each hatchling contributing their thoughts and questions to the discussion.

"Chirp-chirp! Go adventure? Look for treasure?"

"Glak-glak! No, dangerous! Stay here! Cave is safe!"

"Chirp-chirp! Me very scared!"

I overheard snippets of conversation among my other diminutive companions. They chatted about the world beyond our current surroundings, mentioning terms like "caverns," "tunnels," and "the great beyond." It seemed there was a larger world out there, one that I was eager to explore, despite the wretched environment in which we found ourselves.

Our goblin hatchling conversation continued, punctuated by the occasional playful chase or tumble in the filth. We were gradually piecing together the puzzle of our existence in this peculiar underground world. But then, as if fate had other plans, disaster struck.

One of the eggs, perched precariously on the heap of feces, lost its footing and began to tumble downward. It gained momentum rapidly, sliding with surprising speed towards a group of goblin hatchlings.

A terrified goblin was in its path, and with a sickening thud, the egg slammed into him, pinning him beneath its weight. The poor hatchling was now trapped, half-buried in the pile of wet feces, with only his flailing limbs visible.

His tiny hands frantically claw at the foul-smelling deluge that threatened to smother him. With each passing moment, he sank deeper into the sludge, his anguished screeches punctuated by desperate gasps for air. Feces oozed out from under the egg, burying him further as he struggled to catch precious breaths.

"Gluk-glug! Help... no... glug, can't get... out! Gluk-glik! Help! Gobbies! Help!" he cried out in sheer panic, his voice muffled by the relentless tide of filth that threatened to consume him. 

The surrounding goblins chirped and clicked in distress, their tiny voices filled with panic. They darted back and forth, unsure of how to help their fellow hatchling who was rapidly sinking beneath the filth.

Gruk and I exchanged a glance, our eyes wide with horror at the unfolding tragedy. We sprang into action, our small bodies scuttling toward the trapped goblin. We grabbed hold of his limbs, pulling with all our might, while other hatchlings joined us in the effort of pushing the egg. Their tiny minds, though not the sharpest, grasped the urgency of the situation.

"Gluk-gluk! Help! Quick! Push egg!" Gruk chirped urgently.

One of the goblins stumbled and fell face-first into the muck, but he didn't give up. He paddled in the muck, trying to dislodge the egg with his flailing limbs. Another goblin scuttled over to the trapped hatchling and started to dig away the feces with his bare hands. His fingers sank into the foul-smelling muck, and his face twisted in disgust as he worked tirelessly.

Yet another goblin imagining that his head was as hard as a rock attempted to use his noggin to push the egg aside. He rushed forward and headbutted the egg, which only resulted in him bouncing off with a dazed expression and bleeding forehead.

The next hatchling in line believed that a well-timed fart might provide the necessary propulsion to free their friend. He bent over, released a thunderous gas explosion, and was promptly blown away by the force, landing a few feet away in a pile of steaming dung.

Next one attempted to pull his fellow hatchling out by tugging on the pinned goblin's legs. Instead, he slipped on the slick surface of the feces and belly-flopped onto the trapped goblin's head, pushing him even deeper into the filth. And another one thought of using a nearby stick to pry the egg off. In his excitement, he ended up smacking the pinned goblin on the head with the stick, leaving him dazed and dizzy.

A stuby goblin, with a dim glimmer of prowess, stretched out his stubby arms and tried to push the egg with all his might. But the egg remained resolute, its weight far too much for the weak goblin. Instead of aiding his fellow hatchling, all he achieved was an eruption of foul-smelling feces and an explosion of farts right on the trapped goblin's face. With a grotesque and comical sound, he lost control of his bodily functions, releasing a violent burst of feces that splattered across the cavern floor.

Then, during this grotesque crisis, one goblin's tiny, feeble mind conceived a plan to lift the egg. With a war cry that sounded more like a pitiful whimper, he seized the massive egg with all his meager might, straining with every fiber of his being to lift it. His bulbous belly bulged with exertion, and he unleashed a guttural, vomiting gag that sprayed his insides all over the egg, coating it in a revolting, slippery layer.

Against all odds, and despite our feeble and absurd attempts, we persisted in our mission to rescue our trapped fellow hatchling. Time seemed to stretch on endlessly as we strained against the weight of the colossal egg. Covered in a revolting mixture of feces and sweat, our tiny limbs ached and burned from the relentless exertion.

Exhaustion threatened to overwhelm us, but we refused to give in. With one final, desperate tug, we managed to shift the colossal egg. It wobbled precariously before finally yielding to our relentless efforts. Our trapped goblin companion burst forth from the filth with a gasp for air, his eyes wide with gratitude and disbelief.

The relieved hatchling coughed and sputtered, his green skin covered in a layer of muck, but he was alive. The surrounding goblins chirped in relief, their tiny hearts pounding from the adrenaline rush.

As the rescued goblin caught his breath, he glanced at us with a mixture of gratitude and awe. We had acted as a team, united by our shared plight, and had managed to save a fellow hatchling from a grim fate.

"Chirp-chirp! Brave gobbies save me! Thankies!" he yelled, his voice filled with admiration.

After the dramatic rescue from the treacherous egg, the goblin who had narrowly escaped suffocation introduced himself as Gunk. As he caught his breath and wiped filth from his face, he chirped and clicked his name repeatedly, making sure we all understood.

"Gunk! Gunk, that's me! Gunk is me!" he yelled as if to emphasize his identity.

We goblin hatchlings, having grown more adept at understanding and mimicking each other's sounds, responded in kind, introducing ourselves as well. It was a cacophony of chirps, clicks, and various goblin noises as we took turns sharing our names.

One by one, we announced ourselves, each of us had a unique name that seemed to suit our tiny, misshapen forms. Despite our lack of physical prowess and the bizarre circumstances of our birth, we were goblins, and we were beginning to embrace our newfound identities.

Gunk, the goblin who had been rescued from beneath the egg, seemed especially grateful to be among fellow goblins. He clicked and chirped his appreciation, and the atmosphere among us grew warmer and more welcoming.

The goblin who had been experimenting with a peculiar method of walking by pushing his face through the filth was Slippinfeet, aptly named due to his propensity for sliding around on the slippery surfaces of the goblin hatchery. He had a knack for finding the muddiest spots and navigating them with surprising ease.

As we continued interacting and getting to know one another, the goblin hatchlings introduced themselves with a curious assortment of names, each reflecting their unique personalities and quirks.

"Me Spindlytoe!" chirped a goblin with particularly long and spindly toes. His ears wiggled in the air as he clicked out his name.

Soon, more goblins joined in with their own monikers, each more eccentric than the last.

"Me, Bumblebelly!" declared a goblin whose rotund belly caused him to tumble and bounce as he moved.

"Klutzfingers!" yelped another goblin, who, despite his name, managed to clumsily produce intricate patterns in the filth as he moved his fingers about.

And then there was "Dizzyhead," a goblin whose constant headshake made even the most robust among us feel slightly woozy.

As we shared our names and laughter, it became clear that our shared experiences and camaraderie were uniting us in this strange new world. We were no longer just goblin hatchlings trying to make sense of our existence; we were a community, bound together by the challenges and adventures that lay ahead.

During our introductions, I, too, found my goblin name emerging from my vocal cords, "I am Hermit. Yes, Hermit, it is!"

Our conversations meandered in the filth-laden cave, and as goblin hatchlings, our discussions often took on a comical and surreal tone.

"Hey, Spindlytoe, why do you wiggle toes so much?" asked Slippinfeet, his eyes fixated on Spindlytoe's incredibly long and wiggly toes.

Spindlytoe clicked in response, "Toes like dance! Dance makes me happy, happy goblin!" His toes responded in kind, wiggling energetically.

Gruk, always eager to contribute, chirped in, "Gruk want to slide, but slide not like Slippinfeet! Gruk just fall, bump, oops!"

Slippinfeet nodded in agreement, sliding gracefully through the filth, "Slippinfeet teach! Slide like this!" He demonstrated his impressive sliding technique, gliding effortlessly across the decaying mess.

"Dizzyhead no like slide," Dizzyhead declared, his head shaking at an alarming speed. "Dizzyhead dizzy enough already!"

Bumblebelly, who had been rolling around in the filth like a piggy, chimed in with a laugh, "Me like roll! Roll downhill, bump into a friend, giggle!"

Klutzfingers, whose fingers were constantly creating intricate patterns in the manure, tried to teach Dizzyhead, "Dizzyhead, watch! Fingers make pretty pictures."

Dizzyhead attempted to focus on Klutzfingers' creations but ended up stumbling over his own feet, spinning even faster in the process, "Dizzyhead dizzy, not good at finger dance!"

Our discussions often revolved around our peculiar abilities and the oddities of our underground home. It was as if we were embracing the absurdity of our situation, finding humor and joy amidst the filth and decay.