3

I remember...

In my youth...
My family must have...
Struggled with poverty a lot...

I rarely recall my mother bringing food home...
Mostly, we relied on the generosity of strangers...

I wasn't bothered by that...
I felt grateful to them both...

But my mother was cautious about it...

She would carefully inspect the contents...
And would take the first bite herself...
Before sharing it with the rest of us...

I wasn't sure why that was...
It must have been something for adults to worry about...

I was just eating whatever I was getting...
And felt happy about it...

Food is food...
And it would have been such a waste...
If we didn't appreciate those who went through so much trouble to bring it to us...

That went on for a while...
Until...

At some point...
Those kind strangers stopped bringing food...

My childish mind was trying to figure out the reason...

Maybe if they were bringing food to us every day...
They became poor themselves...

I didn’t know if it was true...
But that made me feel very sad...

The thought that my family and I...
Were eating their food...
And now they needed someone to provide for them too...
Troubled me...

I didn’t know where the food was being kept...
Did it grow from the ground?
Did it fall from the sky?

Also, I didn’t know where to find the kind strangers either...

Being young and inexperienced is very difficult...
I had so many questions about so many things...
But no one would help me answer them...

So, I ventured outside...
To discover everything about it...

About the food...
And where it is kept...

About the kind strangers...
And their whereabouts...

I would also taste test it first...
Even though I didn't know the reason behind it...
But I'll probably understand when it happens...

I remember...

Looking everywhere...
There were hints and smells all around me...
However...

No matter how hard I tried...
In the end, I failed to locate the source...

But I wasn't ready to give up just yet...
I had to find a way to return the favor somehow...

Maybe if I ask around...
Someone might be able to help me...

I remember...

Everyone was ignoring me...
Or just chasing me away...

Why...?

I hadn't asked anyone for their food...
I was simply asking for their help...

But perhaps no one saw it that way...

After a long and tiresome search...
I heard whispers about a certain place...

They said that others frequently brought food there...
And shared it with everyone who was hungry...

Uncertain about the value of this information...
I set my sights on that place...

After searching for a while...
I finally found the place others were talking about...

It was an abandoned building...
Dark, cold...
And the atmosphere was bleak...

And a hideous stench...
Like something was rotting in the area...

I decided to ignore everything else...
And focus on the task at hand...

And there...
In a corner...
Like it was hidden from plain sight...

There it was...
Food!

It was giving a strange smell...
One that I haven’t experienced before...

I assumed that there were different kinds...
Since whatever we were eating ourselves wasn’t always the same...

But then again...Food is food...

As long as it makes someone happy...

The only thing left before leaving was to make sure it was edible...
So, I took a bite...

I remember...

I regretted my choice shortly after...

The taste was awful...
Bitter...
And probably spoiled...

I started coughing hard...
All while feeling nauseous...

My stomach began making strange noises...
And was shaking violently...
Like a strong earthquake...

I could feel my insides...
Trying to pour out of my mouth...

A burning liquid reached my tongue...
While my legs gave way...

I remember...

There I was...
Flat on the floor...
Fighting an invisible enemy...

In a fight I knew...
I couldn’t win...
No matter how hard I tried...

If there's something I regret...
Is that I couldn’t return the favor...

To those kind strangers...
To my mother...

I hope they can find food on their own...
From now on...

I wish...
I was a bit more helpful...

But I tried...

I tried my best...
Even though...
It wasn’t nearly enough...

It's time to go now...

I feel the flame of my candle...
Burning out...

Soon...
It's going to be dark...
Again...

Again...?

That feeling...
The thought...

Was the last I had...

Like repeating myself...
Over and over again...

Like I've been there before...

Not once...
Not twice...
But many times already...

But it doesn’t matter anymore...
It's too late for that...

Goodnight...