A Beginning Once Again

    "The floor feels great today," I think to myself, half awake, thinking about the dream I just had.

    Then I realize that I'm not in my apartment and bolt awake to find that I'm in a hospital bed, the light from the window almost blinding me.

    I have a massive headache and don’t remember anything about why I’m here. I try to remember what happened while getting up, but there is nothing.

    Suddenly, everything comes to me. "Shit!" I exclaim to myself, then I start to mutter, "I could probably try again, but should I do the same thing or should I—".

    I'm interrupted by a soft, feminine voice that says, “Oh hey, you’re awake.” I recognize the voice from somewhere but can’t figure out where.

    “Sorry about the whole thing. Are you feeling okay?” She asks. I start to utter the words, “Who are you?” when I remember who she is.

    She's Atsuo, one of the five in that car that prevented my death, so I remark, “Where are the rest?” in a casual voice, trying to convey that I’m fine.

    “First, are you okay?” she asserts, so I impatiently say to her, “I’m go—” and then get the biggest migraine I’ve ever had and drop to the floor.

    “Is that a no?” she guesses.

    “Yeah, sure,” I moan.

    After getting up, she asks, “Where do you live?” I remember that I had moved out of the apartment in preparation for my suicide, so I didn’t know how to answer.

    I get a good look at her and am taken aback by her: silky black hair, fair skin, and slight smile on her face.

    She’s wearing a purple miniskirt and shirt with gray highlights and a butterfly hairpin, and I notice her bangs perfectly showcase her green eyes.

    If I had seen her before the incident, I would have asked her out, but it doesn't matter now.

    When I come back to reality, I realize that I've already walked outside of the building, and Atsuo is looking at me as if she had asked a question.

    I ask, “What was the question?” and with no indication of being annoyed (I know I would), she asks again, “Do you wanna go to Anton’s place?”.

    I start thinking to myself, do I want to just wander around until I find the way I want to die or just chill there and think of where to die.

    She adds, “He’ll make you some breakfast,” and now I’m in her car, going to his house.

    If there is one thing that makes me happy, it's breakfast. From the rice and miso soup combo melting in your mouth, it’s amazing.

    When we get there, I’m almost tempted to just run to the door, but I keep a relaxed mood about it and walk up to the door to knock.

    “Oh, actually, I have the keys,” Atsuo chimes in, doing that slight run-walk to the door people do when they need to do something quickly but don't want to do a straight run.

    I wonder what that means, and while she is turning the lock, I accidentally say out loud, “Are they all in a group orgy or something?”.

    Atsuo looks back and asks, “What's an orgy?” as she opens the door, and instantly I want to put myself into an oven even more.

    I mean, it's not like I don’t like eggs and bacon. It's just that I was craving rice and miso soup as a last meal, but I begrudgingly walked into the house.

    I see Anton, and he’s wearing a t-shirt that says “<ACDC>” with a thunderbolt between the first C and the D, shorts, and orange hair.

    Anton looks at me while stirring some eggs and asks Atsuo, “Why is he here?” in a tone that sounds like he usually tries to be fun but right now is taking no shit.

    Atsuo replies with something, but I'm no longer paying attention. I'm just wondering whether I should go with the oven thing or not when I realize something.

    Anton is blushing so hard I can see it from 5 meters away. “Which makes sense, she is a great girl,” I think to myself, and then I slap myself right in the face.

    They both look at me, not like “Why did you do that,” but like “Oh, okay.”.

    I decide to just walk around a little bit around the place, and in what feels like 3 seconds, I get hit by a door opening.

    “What the hell!” I exclaim to the door, and I hear Anton say, “Oh yeah, we need to get that thing fixed.”.

    A girl with glasses pops out of the door. She’s wearing long pants and an Evangelion t-shirt, she has short brown hair, beige skin, and is carrying a laptop in her right hand.

    “Oh hey Masao Ishida,” she says, sounding like Reina from before but very hung over “You doing well?” I then bark back “No my fucking nose is bleeding”.

    She then gives me a thumbs up with her left hand while giving me a smug look and walks to another door and starts to knock on it with the same hand.

    “Why are you still wearing long sleeves in the middle of summer?” Anton asks, which prompts Reina to stutter a bit until she stammers “I just felt cold”.

    The door opens to show the first guy I have ever seen to be emo with bracelets with spikes and black eyeshadow but it's all worn very ironically.

    He’s also wearing a t-shirt with a joke I don’t get, shorts, short black hair with a bit of dyed white hair, and a few piercings.

    “Oh hey, fall guy!” mocked Jiro, also very hungover Then Reina said, “Hey sorry for saying your jokes are bad Jiro”.

    “Yeah sorry for making fun of your writing career” Jiro apologizes back and I’m about to ask what is happening when Atsuo practically teleporting to me whispers “Just let them get it out of their system”.

    “I'm sorry for making them think you watch porn” Reina apologizes back, then her tone goes from apologetic to curious, asking “Could I ask what were you doing when you were googling Hitler quo-”.

    A loud slam is heard from the end of the hallway and Daitan comes out from there and shouts “Hey Atsuo look, it's the guy who fell on your thighs yesterday”.

    She has long black hair but longer than Atsuo’s going just above her waist, a crop top, “booty” shorts, olive skin, and one more thing that I can’t see right now.

    “Oh right the bet” Anton mentions while scurrying to where we all are and shows off Daitan like she was a new car and asks me “Notice anything about her?”.

    I, for some reason going along with it, look closer at her and realize she has a Yeaba (that thing where the 2 top sharp teeth massively over-biting).

    I say “I don't know, she has a Yeaba”, “And?” Anton asks and I retort “And what?!”, I then see his face go from interest to disappointment and he gives 1500 yen (around 10$) to Reina.

    Throughout the entire thing, Daitan had a face like “Seriously this is the 10th time you have done this stupid shit”.

    Then she remembered something and said to me “Oh yea here is your wallet” and showed the wallet like she was shouting her id.

    It might have been a coincidence but the clothes I wore that day were the same as what I’m wearing right now a green shirt and some jean shorts.

    I have the same tired face I'm all so familiar with the short black hair making me look like a side character in an anime and the pale skin making me look like a ghost.

    “So you gonna take it?” Daitan asks, realizing that I was just spacing out for a second and taking it back, need something for them to identify the body after all.

    “Anyways I’m going for my job now,” Anton says and then everybody just stands like they are waiting for something they’re dreading and I ask “What are we waiting for?.

    Then Jiro remarks and I quote “Yeah he’s a police officer because he couldn't let go of the school shootings and the police brutality back in America”.

    I am instantly taken aback by that sentence but everyone else is agitated except for Daitan and Atsuo who have a small chuckle to themselves.

    Then Atsuo says “Before you go we need to discuss, is Masudo staying here?” and Anton incessantly says no and starts going to the door.

    “Hey” Reina shouts “We also live in this house” Anton, not shouting but close to it “I’m the owner of this house so I decide who lives here”.

    “Why don’t we just have yours count for 3 times as ours?” Daitan suggest.

    “Alright then” Anton announces “Who wants Masao Ishida to stay here?’ Everyone except me and Anton raises their hand.

    “Fuck you all” Anton retorts and walks out the door as I just stand there still wondering how I’m gonna kill myself when 5 other people are around me almost all the time.

    I look around to ask something but Daitan and Reina just disappeared and Atsuo and Jiro are having a small conversation about some movie.

    I ask them “Do any of you have a job?”.

    Jiro then replies with “Do you have a job?”.

    I don’t know how to respond to that I did have a job (just some reception service for some company) but I quit it yesterday.

    “Well if you consider Twitch to be a job, Daitan is streaming some game called Doki Doki Literature Club right now,” Atsuo says.

    Then she has a look of remembrance and runs out the door “Oh yea she applied for a part-time job” Jiro says to himself.

    Then I was alone with Jiro and it felt like time had frozen but could see that Jiro was thinking about something.

    I’m about to ask him when he announces “Let’s go job hunting!” And starts to drag me out of the house.

    I sigh “This is gonna be a horrible day” I mutter to myself.